Chapter 86

“You better ask her if the baby’s a boy or a girl,” Derek teases as we sit in the waiting room.

I nudge him with my arm. “You’re so insistent! Every single visit you beg me to learn the gender.”

“I want to be right that you’re having a boy, duh.”

“And I want it to be healthy above all else,” reminding him of my earlier comments.

“You’re boring, you know that?” He leans forward, our faces mere inches apart.

“I’m sure you’ll tell me every chance you get.”

He leans in and kisses me quickly, with a sly smile coming across his face.

I bump his body with my shoulder. “You’re utterly ridiculous.”

“Yeah,” he admits, arm wrapping around my shoulder. “But you know what they say. I’m your ridiculous.”

Rolling my eyes, I shake my head at my boyfriend.

He was the one who begged me to come along, needing to be there when the gender reveal happens. He doesn’t want to be surprised.

But I’m happy not knowing what my baby is. I love them regardless of gender. Thinking about Melinda having a miscarriage, I wrap my arm around my belly a little tighter.

She’s slowly getting herself back when we talk. She’s still happy for my baby, but seeing her heartbroken over losing her kid, I worry about making sure mine is okay.

Everyone around me knows I’m pregnant anyway. They also know I just got my divorce. So, the topic is very tense for sure.

“I’m just saying it’s better to know the gender,” Derek whispers in my ear. “I know you don’t care. But it made everything feel real when I discovered Bea and Tris’ genders. I don’t want you to regret it.”

Derek pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear and smiles gently.

I give him my most compassionate smile. I know he’s just trying to have a good time. Teasing and joking around is how we communicate. I would never take his taunting to be a serious demand like this.

I take his hand in mine with a squeeze. “I know you want me to find out.”

“I think it’ll add another layer to this entire thing.”

“I think,” I move his hand to my lips and kiss it gingerly. “That it’s terrifying having a baby no matter how badly you want it.”

Now Derek chuckles at my words. “You’re absolutely correct. It’s thrilling and also the most stressful thing a human being can go through. And I wish I could take on some of that burden.”

Smirking, I say, “You’re free to hold this baby as long as you’d like. It’s been exhausting.”

We both can’t help it and start laughing in our own corner. I squeeze his hand again to let him know it will be okay.

Though we’re now dating, I’m glad he came with me today and to all the baby appointments. I feel protected in the way I always should have.

When we’re called back and the nurse finishes checking me out, Dr. Leona enters the room.

“Hello, hello!” She sings. “Ah, I see Mr. Anderson has joined us once again.”

“Mr. Anderson is my boyfriend,” I brighten. “We’ve just made it official more than a week ago.”

Leona smiles widely. “Well, isn’t that wonderful? And on the day we can finally learn the gender!”

“That’s all he’s here for,” I wink. “Don’t let him fool you into thinking overwise.”

My doctor plays along. “Men. Just want to know if another man or woman will be in their life.”

“Ouch, now both of you are against me!” Derek exaggerates, putting his hand to his chest. “It’s like I’ve been shot!”

Rolling our eyes, Leona and I chuckle. “Okay, Esme. Let’s get started.”

As we have for other appointments, Leona asks me the standard questions, and we discuss my symptoms and what to expect during the second trimester. Derek is patient and sits waiting beside me in a chair. No questions, no interruptions, and he rests his hand on my leg to comfort me while my doctor speaks.

“Are you ready then?” Leona finally asks.

I take a deep breath. “Now or never, right?”

“Well, you can find out later,” Derek wiggles his eyebrows.

I playfully hit his arm. “Oh, shush.”

Leona has me lie down; I pull up my shirt before she puts on the gel substance. Then, she grabs the ultrasound machine, putting the cold metal on my skin.

We immediately hear the heartbeat. As she moves the tool, we can better make out the baby inside.

“Looking good, looking good,” Leona murmurs, taking images on her computer. “The baby is moving right along. It’s averaging correctly for its weight, and you can see that there’s where the arms and legs will come in fully.”

She points at the screen with each bit she mentions. I find myself enamored with this little one. It’s like every time I come here, I fall in love with my baby all over again.

“Okay, do you want to know the gender?” She asks patiently; Derek and I are too busy watching my baby move and listening to the heartbeat. I didn’t think I could love something so small so soon.

I sniff, only now realizing I’m about to start crying from happiness.

“What do you think?” I ask Leona.

“I think it’s up to you, Esme,” she replies kindly. “This is your baby, and I want you to do what feels comfortable.”

My eyes move to Derek’s expression—also full of tears to shed.

“Are you sure?” He asks me, reading me so easily.

“I think so,” I nod.

Then, taking a deep breath, I look back at my doctor. “Okay. I wanna know. A boy or a girl.”

Leona’s kind and gentle smile take away some of the fear I’ve been holding onto. Seeing the baby makes it feel much more realistic—but seeing the gender makes this entire pregnancy ramp up to a new level.

“Well, you’ll be happy to know that you have a very healthy, perfect little girl.”

Derek and I both gasp and seemingly start crying together.

“A little girl,” I whisper, looking at the screen again. “I’m having a baby girl.”

Derek kisses my forehead several times, laughing as he does so. You’d think he was the father of this baby with the way his emotions flowed.

“Congrats, Mama,” Leona celebrates, clapping her hands. “Time to start thinking of some baby names.”

I keep crying harder. Derek ends up enveloping me in a hug after the gel has been cleaned off of me.

“You have a girl,” he murmurs in my ear emphatically.

“A baby girl.”

As we leave the office with tissues in hand, Derek takes my hand in his. He doesn’t let go as we go to the parking lot, where his car waits for us.

“After all that, and you couldn’t even have a boy,” he jests.

“Hey! I’m doing my best!” I stick my tongue out at him.

Before anything else can happen, he pulls my entire arm, gathering me up in his arms. Then, with my arms pinned to my chest, he kisses me soft and sweet. It feels like something out of a movie.

When his lips move not even an inch apart, he whispers, “I’ve already got two girls. Now you’re having one, too. That’s lame. It should have been a boy.”

I push him away, laughing as we get back into his car.

Once in the car, he leaves over the center console. “Got any big plans?”

“Like what?” I raise an eyebrow questioningly.

“Spending some time with your man? Maybe even…” he trails off, but I know what he’s thinking about.

“You sure? While I’m pregnant?”

He lets his eyebrows wiggle again. “I’m not sure how much longer I can wait to have you all to myself.”

My skin flushes, and I know I must be pink with embarrassment. Oh, wow.

I nod my head toward the man, to which he fiercely comes in for another kiss and this one? It takes my breath away so fast.

And then, Derek pulls out of the parking lot and heads toward home.