Chapter 1 Is the Wedding Still On?
I was going to donate a kidney to my fiancé.
Before telling him I was a match, I lied and said I was the one with kidney failure.
Dean froze for only a few seconds before canceling the wedding. He said sick people should leave on their own instead of burdening everyone else.
I was about to ask whether he had wanted to call off the wedding all along when his biological sister walked out of his bedroom wearing his shirt.
“I have severe kidney failure. Is the wedding still on?”
Dean froze.
His mother, Judith, looked up too. She was still holding the wedding rehearsal list. Our families and friends would arrive in half an hour.
Dean stared at me for several seconds.
“What did you say?”
“My kidneys are failing.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
He didn’t come over. He didn’t hug me.
I waited more than ten seconds. He stayed where he was, one hand gripping his coffee mug. There was only a table between us, but he wouldn’t even touch my hand.
He glanced at Judith before asking, “Could the hospital have made a mistake?”
“I’ve already had the tests. There’s no mistake.”
That was only half true.
That morning, I had picked up Dean’s test results for him. The doctor told me Dean had severe kidney failure and needed treatment as soon as possible.
Dean didn’t know yet.
The doctor said he might need dialysis and possibly a kidney transplant. I had a compatibility test done on the spot. The result came back quickly.
I was a match.
The doctor asked whether I was willing to donate a kidney. I agreed without hesitation.
Dean and I had been together for five years. We were getting married next month. I thought he loved me, and I was willing to give him one of my kidneys to save his life.
Just last week, while we were trying on wedding clothes, he had held my hand and promised that nothing would ever tear us apart. I believed him. So when I got the compatibility result, I didn’t think about how the surgery might hurt me. I only thought that Dean could be saved.
The doctor reminded me, “Kidney donation must be voluntary. Until the surgery takes place, you can change your mind at any time.”
At the time, canceling never crossed my mind.
After leaving the hospital, I called my sister, Ava.
I told her about Dean’s condition and the compatibility result.
Ava asked, “If you were the one who was sick, would Dean save you too?”
I said of course he would.
But after I said it, a knot formed in my stomach.
“Don’t show him the reports yet,” Ava said. “You find out whether someone truly loves you when something serious happens.”
So I came to Dean’s house and lied that I was the one who was sick.
I only wanted to know if he would stay.
By then, he had known I was “sick” for almost five minutes. He hadn’t asked how I felt or promised to stand by me.
All he asked was, “What did the doctor say?”
“Treatment first. If it gets bad, I’ll need long-term dialysis.”
Dean immediately asked, “For how long?”
“I don’t know.”
“Would you have to go to the hospital every week?”
“Maybe.”
“Would you still be able to work?”
I looked at him without answering.
“Aren’t you going to ask if I’m scared?”
Dean paused.
“What good would that do? I need to know what we’re supposed to do from now on.”
Then he lifted his mug and took another sip of coffee.
Not one of his questions was about me. He only wanted to know how much trouble I would cause him.
When I said nothing, Dean frowned.
“I’m just trying to understand the situation. Once we’re married, treatment will cost money, and someone will have to take care of you. We have to think about those things, don’t we?”
“So are you going to take care of me?”
Dean looked at Judith again.
Judith set the rehearsal list on the table.
“Lindsay, a wedding is a serious matter. Now that you have this kind of illness, a lot of our plans need to be reconsidered.”
I hadn’t asked her. I kept my eyes on Dean.
“Is the wedding still on?”
Dean looked away.
“Your sister Ava can go through treatment with you. She’s family too.”
“You’re my fiancé.”
Dean was silent for a moment.
“I’m not ready to take care of a sick person.”
“Then what’s your answer?”
He glanced at Judith again.
Judith nodded at him.
Our freshly printed invitations sat beside the table, with Dean’s name and mine on them. Yesterday, he had been urging me to confirm the final table of guests. Today, he wouldn’t even look me in the eye.
Dean lowered his head, took off his engagement ring, and placed it in front of me.
“Then the wedding is off.”
