Chapter 10

Ellesa's P.O.V

I woke up again. Nate was not by my side. It's been like this since the night he came home drunk, I asked him what his problem really was, but he remained silent. Is he hiding something?

Sometimes he changed the topic. Or he became irritated. And it will be cold. But I remained my posture. Trying to understand him, maybe he has a problem and he can't say it yet.

I never opened up the thing The things he said the night when he came home drunk and he was calling someone's name.

I don't know but I don't have the strength to ask him. I don't know where to pick a strength to confront him. I'm afraid that I might just regret the answer.

I don't know but I feel like Nate is different now. He is very different. He may not be sweet to me, but now he has become colder, he has become more distant from me, well not literally far but the feeling that he is far from me even though our bodies are close.

He came home late, leaving the house early, and at afternoon when I went to his office he was not there sometimes. Those are the changes that happened to Nate today, he is not like that from the past days of us being husband and wife. Does he have a woman?

"Big sis. I don't know what to do. Nate has really changed. He's far from the Nate that I used to know. It's like he's avoiding me again?" I said sadly to my sister as my tears fell.

I don't know but lately I've been getting emotional. Even small things make me cry. Maybe because I can't handle my feelings anymore.

We were at the coffee shop today, I called him earlier that I wanted to meet because I really can't take the weight of what I'm feeling right now.

"Maybe you don't really know him completely yet." sHe said gently.

"Please stop crying." sHe added. I tried to wipe the tears away but they kept on falling.

I shook my head again. And cried again thinking that maybe I don't really know my husband yet.

"I have a feeling that Nate has another woman. You know what, the other night he mentioned a name."

I saw the shock that registered on his face, but it disappeared immediately.

"W-what name is b-saying Nate?" I can hear the nervousness in his voice.

"Mae. Mae is the name he always mentions whenever he sleeps or gets drunk."

"Big sis, I don't know what I'll do if Nate ever has a girl. I can't handle it." And that's when I really started crying.

Sister immediately approached me. And rubbed my back.

"Are you going to scold me because I didn't listen to you? You're free to scold me. I will accept that. But because I love him. I can do whatever he wants me to do. Just so he won't leave me." It's stupid, but I really can't lose my husband.

"But what if Nate does have a girl, what will you do?" sHe asked which made me cry even more. I shook my head.

"I-I...... I d-don't know?." Confused, I answered that even I don't know what to do if it's true that Nate has a woman. I need someone to hold on to. I need someone to help me.

"Sister can I ask some favor?" sHe nodded. And looked at me for a moment but returned his eyes to his coffee. And it seems like someone is thinking deeply.

"Can you help me find Nate's mistress? P-please sister. C-because sister n-I'm scared......." I breathed heavily.

".......... N-I'm afraid that one a-day Nate won't come home. That b-one day......" I paused

"......m-My husband will disappear forever and go with his b-girl...... I can't do that sister. Because of the words that come out of her mouth? It shows on how much she l-love that girl........" I sobbed.

"......... T-I'm scared sister d-because I can't hold his heart....... So big sis please, just this one, help me." I could barely utter another word because my chest was tight.

sHe was crying too. I don't know why but I see regret on his face but it disappeared immediately.

"Y-yeah. I-I.... I-I'll h-help y-you." She was stammering while saying those words.

"Promise?" I looked at her in pleading eyes.

"Promise." She said but she couldn't look into my eyes.

I smiled at her and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you big sis. Thank you for always being there when I need you. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I love you big sis." And I continued to cry on her shoulder.

In the evening I cooked dinner for Nate and me, even though I wasn't sure if he would be able to come home early or if he would have dinner here. I just want to cook for him every day even if sometimes he doesn't eat it.

It's late at night but he's still not there. I have almost finished the raw carrots that I have been nibbling on. I don't know, maybe the sadness I felt was poured into my carrots. The other day I wanted to eat nothing but carrots. I am changing myself. This is probably the effect of many thought problems.

Now I'm crying again because Nate is still gone in the middle of the night.

I want to call him, but I don't know, I'm scared. I'm ahead of the nervousness that maybe his hook will answer maybe what else I can do on my own.

I was sitting on the sofa in the living room while crying waiting for Nate. When the door opened and my husband entered.

I immediately stood up and watched him, at first he was surprised, maybe he didn't expect my presence.

At times like this I'm already asleep, but now I try my best to stay awake for him even though I'm sleepy.

"Babe." That's all I can say. I ran the distance that separated us, and hugged him as tight as I could.

I missed him so much. Even if we were just next to each other, but I was longing for him. It was as if we hadn't seen each other in years.

I felt that he wanted to break away from my embrace. So I made it even tighter.

"Please just this night babe. Because I know tomorrow you will avoid me again. So, please, even just now let me hug you. Even for a while." I was sobbing hard. I feel my face' already wet due to my tears that won't stop.