Chapter 2

Mom’s grip tightened on my wrist.

"Your father and I left our home, our church, to come here and take care of you!" Mom sobbed, her voice echoing off the pavilion roof. "We quit our jobs to feed you the word of the Lord and home-cooked food. And is this our reward? One little song and you rebel like this?"

I stood frozen. 

"How have I raised such a faithless, ungrateful child?" She buried her face in her hand. "I might as well be dead."

The midday Southern heat, combined with the sheer terror of the crowd, churned violently in my stomach. A sudden wave of nausea hit me so hard my knees buckled. I clutched my chest, gagging, and doubled over as I dry-heaved.

Mom’s crying stopped instantly. She stared down at me, her eyes widening in horrific realization.

"Are you with child?" she shrieked. "Have you committed fornication?"

"Mom, stop," I gasped, wiping my mouth. "It’s just the heat—"

"Have you no shame before the Lord?" she yelled, grabbing my bicep and digging her nails into my skin.

The whispers from the crowd turned into a loud buzz. I peered through my messy hair. A girl from my morning class was whispering rapidly to her friend. A guy in a frat tank top chuckled. Phones were out. Lenses pointed right at me.

I had studied until 3 a.m. every night just to get a scholarship and escape my hometown. College was supposed to be my clean slate. In less than five minutes, Mom had dragged me right back into hell.

"Walk," Mom ordered, jerking me forward. "We’re going to the clinic right now. I’m going to find out how far along this… sin of yours is."

I stumbled behind her. "I'm not pregnant! Let me go!"

"Don't lie to me!" Mom hissed. She leaned close to my ear as we marched across the quad. "Back in high school, you were already leading boys astray. Your father and I had to go to the church and apologize to the elders for your behavior. Do you know how ashamed we were?"

Something inside me snapped. 

The years of swallowing the blame, the forced prayers of repentance, the dirty looks in the pews—it all boiled over.

"I didn’t lead anyone on!" I screamed, pulling back so hard my shoulder popped. "I was assaulted! I was the victim!"

Mom sneered. "Why does this only ever happen to you, if you walk in righteousness? It must be your own doing."

Those words hit me like a physical blow. Without thinking, I shoved her away.

I just wanted to run, but Mom lost her balance and fell hard onto the grass.

"Eli!" she shrieked.

Heavy footsteps pounded on the pavement behind me. A massive hand clamped onto my shoulder, stopping me dead. 

Dad.

He stood between me and the dorms, a brick wall in a grease-stained diner apron. Mom scrambled to her feet, brushing off her skirt, and walked around to my other side.

They hooked their arms through mine, marching me forward. By the time we reached the glass doors of the campus clinic, half a dozen students were walking parallel to us, filming the whole thing.

"Nurse!" Mom barked. She dragged me straight to the front desk. "Check her for pregnancy. Do a pelvic exam."

An older nurse with a kind, lined face looked up from her computer. Her nametag read Martha. 

Mom shoved me toward the nearest triage bed behind a thin privacy curtain. "Take off your pants. Let the nurse see what you’ve done."

Through the gap in the curtain, I caught sight of a male doctor in a white coat walking down the hallway. 

My chest tightened. The walls immediately started closing in. A small room. Male hands. Trapped on a bed. The memory of the church basement flooded my brain. 

"No," I choked out. I backed against the wall, shaking my head frantically. "No. I’d rather die first."

Nurse Martha quickly stepped around the counter, putting herself firmly between me and Mom. "Ma'am, lower your voice. Are you this girl's parents?"

"I am her mother before God," Mom declared proudly.

Martha blinked, clearly stunned by the madness. "Well, as her mother, you should know nobody is forcing a pelvic exam on a terrified teenager. If you want a pregnancy test, we can do a urine screen or a blood draw."

Mom scoffed. She looked me up and down with utter contempt. "A pelvic exam costs nothing. Cheap, just like this wayward girl."

I stared at her. My own mother. 

"What are you staring at?" Mom snapped. "It’s true. You’re cheap, and you’re disobedient. Why can’t you be more like Hannah? Sweet, pious, grateful for everything we do for her."

She took a step closer, bypassing the nurse to invade my space. Her voice dropped to a deadly whisper. "Now go in there and let the nurse check you, or your father and I will administer biblical discipline right here in this hallway."

Biblical discipline.

The PVC pipe Dad kept in the garage. The heavy leather belt. The hours forced to kneel on raw rice in the dark closet while praying for forgiveness. My whole body began to tremble violently.

I looked at Mom. Then over to Dad, who stood blocking the clinic door, arms crossed, silently waiting. 

They didn't care about the truth. They only cared about breaking me.

"Fine," I whispered, my voice completely hollow. "Disown me then."

Mom narrowed her eyes. "What did you say?"

"Disown me," I repeated. "You only need one daughter anyway. Hannah."