Chapter 102

Darren

The air was colder up here. Thicker, too, like it was leaving me breathless.

I didn’t know if it was the cold wind or the weight pressing down on my chest that made it harder to breathe, but either way, the ache settled in deeper and deeper the longer I stood there in the snow.

Emilia’s grave hadn’t changed much since the last time I had visited. The stone was still smooth and polished as if she had just been buried yesterday, even though it had been years.

Years.

And still, even now, I could almost hear her voice scolding me for staying away so long. But coming back here always felt like reopening a wound that I had tried so hard to let scar over. Maybe that was selfish of me. Maybe that made me a bad brother.

But now, with everything that had happened with Aria—I couldn’t stay away any longer. I had to my sister, even if she wasn’t here to hear it or say anything back.

Emilia was always my best friend in the entire world. She was the one person that I could go to about everything. From birth, we were practically inseparable. We hardly kept any secrets from each other, and hardly a day went by that we weren’t together when she was alive.

Maybe that was why I hated coming here so much—because it was just a reminder that the one person who had been such an immovable fixture in my life was gone forever, and there was no getting her back.

I saw her in Lucas every day, of course. But it wasn’t the same. It never would be.

Taking a deep breath to calm my frayed nerves, I crouched down, brushing away the thin layer of snow that had gathered at the base of the headstone. “Hey,” I murmured. “I know it’s been a while.”

The silence that came after my words felt heavier out here, away from the noise of the pack house and the village below. Only the faint rustling of trees kept me company as I pulled the lighter from my coat pocket and flicked it on, the small flame dancing in the wind as I lit the small candle that I had brought with me.

Talking to a grave… That was a new one for me. I felt like I was going insane, but now that I had begun, I felt as if I couldn’t stop.

“I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say.” I let out a small breath of a laugh, watching it curl into the winter air in a cloud of white mist. “But… There’s someone in my life. I think… I think I really care about her. But you probably already know that, don’t you?”

Still no response, of course, because I was talking to nothing but air and snow. I smiled faintly, shaking my head at the absurdity of it all, but I continued. “She’s not like you. She wasn’t born into this. And she doesn’t have a wolf.”

The wind whispered through the branches, almost like she was answering me. But I knew it was just wishful thinking on my part.

“I know what you’d say. That it doesn’t matter, not when she’s my mate.” The words felt heavier on my tongue now that I was saying them out loud. “But I… I can’t help but think about Michael.”

I hadn’t said her human husband’s name out loud in years. It still hurt; I didn’t know Michael too well, because I hadn’t had much of a chance to, but I remembered the pain my sister had gone through all too well. She never moved on from his death. Not even when she found out she was pregnant with his child.

Her heart had been shattered, and not even the knowledge of carrying his son in her belly was enough to repair the damage. I still thought that that was the real reason why she’d died during childbirth; the pain was just too much, and her body was weakened.

“I don’t want what happened to him to happen to her,” I admitted softly. “And I feel like, if something does happen, it’ll be my fault somehow. I’m not sure if I could bear it.”

For a moment, I thought about leaving it at that—leaving the candle burning and walking away before the memories grew too painful to handle.

But the sound of footsteps crunching softly in the snow behind me caused me to snap out of my reverie, and I turned to find Lucas standing a few paces away, bundled up in his coat.

His eyes, so much like Emilia’s, were wide and curious.

“Daddy? What are you doing up here?” he asked. He cocked his head, his eyes flickering between me and the grave.

I forced a small smile. “Just visiting Aunt Emilia.”

Aunt. Not Mom.

He still couldn’t know. Someday, when he was older, I would tell him. I knew I had to. But he was too young now—too young to know when it was unsafe to blurt out the truth. If he accidentally let the truth slip, then it could be disastrous.

Our pack was still a long way from trusting humans. A half-human like him would have been seen as an abomination, and he would be completely ostracized.

So it would have to wait. I hoped he wouldn’t resent me someday for not telling him sooner.

Lucas took a few cautious steps forward, his gaze shifting to the headstone. He stopped beside me, peering up at the candle as it flickered in the breeze. “Was she nice?”

I nodded, staring down at the ground beneath my boots. “Yeah. She was the nicest.”

He inhaled sharply. “Hi, Aunt Emilia,” he said softly, leaning in to pat the top of the headstone with his tiny hand. “I’m Lucas. Daddy talks about you sometimes, but not a lot. I think he misses you.”

The knot in my throat tightened painfully.

“Daddy says you’re in the sky now,” he continued. “I hope you’re happy up there.” He paused, then looked up at me. “Can I light a candle too?”

I fished another candle from my pocket and handed it to him, holding the lighter steady as he carefully lifted the wick toward it. Once he was finished, he placed it beside mine, watching intently as the two flames danced together.

After a long moment, I crouched beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Lucas,” I said softly, “why did you call Aria ‘Mommy’ the first time you met her?”

Lucas didn’t hesitate. “I knew she was supposed to be,” he said simply. “She made me feel safe, like you do. And I could tell she made you happy. So I thought she must be my mommy.”

The honesty in his voice made my chest ache. I still remembered that day like it was yesterday—the way he had so instinctively called him his mother, refused to leave her side even when I had commanded him to walk away.

Their connection was intense and immediate. And the thought of pulling them apart, especially when he had already lost his mother, made my chest ache.

“I… see.” I brushed his hair back gently. “And what do you think now?”

Lucas looked up at me, his expression brightening. “I still think she is. I like it when she stays with us. It feels like family.”

His words settled into something soft and unrelenting inside me, and for the first time in days, I felt like I could see everything clearly. Family. That was a word I hadn’t allowed myself to entertain in a very, very long time.

But it felt right. Natural.

And the thought of it being anything but that felt like unnecessarily twisting a knife in my gut.

There was still time to fix this. Aria was right: there were ways to make it work. And I… loved her. Just as Emilia had bravely loved Michael, I had to bravely love Aria. Perhaps I couldn’t bear it if she got hurt, but I also couldn’t bear it if I didn’t tell her the truth.

Even if we had to leave the pack behind, family was the most important thing. Aria and Lucas were the most important things.

I smiled, smoothing his hair down. “Lucas, how would you like it if I did make Aria your mommy? If we fell in love and got married?”

Lucas’s face lit up like the sunrise, and he suddenly grabbed my hand, yanking me back toward the village. “I’d like that. We should go tell her now!”