Chapter 148

Tessa’s POV

It felt like the air had left my entire body. Or as someone punched me in the gut and I tumbled over, gasping for breath that wouldn’t arrive. I found it incredibly difficult to breathe. I knew if I remained where I was, gasping and panting, he would turn and see me standing there.

I couldn’t let him see me.

It would only take a minute before the tears spilled from my eyes. I felt the in the back of my eyes threatening to betray me. I bit onto my bottom lip until I tasted the metallic blood and as soon as the blood left my lips, I saw Joseph’s body tense.

Crap.

He could smell it.

Before he pulled away from Emily and turned in my direction, I was already running down the stairs. The tears came quickly and once they started, they wouldn’t.

I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through the rest of today in one piece without falling apart completely. I held my mouth with my hands, trying to keep the sobs from being too loud, but they, along with my tears, wouldn’t stop.

I continued to run, unsure of where I was going.

I think I just needed to get some air.

“Tessa?” I heard my name being called from behind me.

I recognized the voice to be Brian’s, but I didn’t stop speaking with him. I had to get out of this school as fast as I could. I seriously couldn’t breathe and if I remained in the school for a moment longer, I was afraid I’d puke all over the ground.

Pushing open the back doors of the school, I stumbled out into the fresh air. The cool breeze hit me suddenly and I soon found myself taking greedy gulps of air, trying my best to fill my lungs.

I leaned against the building, wrapping my arms around my chest as my body shivered and jolted. Tears kept pouring from my eyes; I squeezed them shut tightly, trying to keep them under control, but my entire body was feeling broken.

My heart had completely shattered. It continued to shatter repeatedly these last few days; now, it was just a pile of crumbs.

The doors of the building opened, and I wouldn’t dare look to see who had followed me out there. But I didn’t need to; his voice was all I needed to hear to know who it was.

“Tessa? What happened?” Brian asked, walking closer to me as if I was a rabid dog he was trying to tame.

“Nothing,” I muttered, turning away from him so he couldn’t see my face. “What are you doing out here, Brian?’

“What are you talking about? You ran past me sobbing. I followed you,” he told me, stepping in front of me so I would be facing him. “What happened?”

“It’s not your business,” I muttered, I went to step around him so I could walk away, but he stepped in the same direction, keeping me in front of him. “Brian, just let me go.”

“No,” he said, folding his arms across his chest. “You’re not okay. I should have known from your blog post that something was up with you.”

“What would you know about my blog posts?” I asked, narrowing my tear-filled eyes at him. “You barely even read them.”

“I told you, I recently took an interest in them.”

“Oh, please. You weren’t serious when you said that, were you?” I asked, trying to keep myself from laughing sarcastically, but I also couldn’t help myself.

Brian never cared about anything other than himself, and he was set in his own ways and his own way of thinking. There was no way he took an actual interest in something that I wrote when he was so against me writing in the first place.

“I was serious,” he said, and for a moment, I saw the old Brian in his eyes. The one that made me fall in love with him. “I was lying when I said you were a bad writer and that you couldn’t make it as a writer. You have proved me wrong. People really enjoy what you have to say and your form of storytelling. I liked reading it. But then it got dark and filled with hatred. I should have guessed that something was seriously wrong.”

I stared up at him, trying to keep my mouth from hanging open.

I wasn’t sure what I expected to hear from Brian, but it certainly wasn’t that.

“I know I fucked up,” he continued. “But you were always a really good friend to me, even before we started dating. I was kind of hoping we could get that back.”

“After everything you have done and said…. I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head at him. “You truly hurt me, Brian. I don’t think I could just forgive and forget so easily.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive and forget,” he said, lowering his gaze. “But at least let me help you out of whatever situation you are in. You seem like you could use the help.”

“How exactly could you help me?”

He thought about it for a moment and then a mischievous grin appeared on his lips; my stomach clenched, and I had to fight the urge to step away from him.

“Let’s ditch the rest of the day,” he said, a little too eagerly.

I knew Brian and his friends ditched classes all the time; when we dated, he always tried to get me to go along with them, but I always refused, not wanting to miss any school. Because Brian is captain of the football team and he’s at this school because of a football scholarship, his teachers don’t really bat an eye when he’s not present.

But me, on the other hand, I could lose the academic scholarship I worked so hard to get. It would jeopardize everything.

“I don’t think so,” I muttered, turning away from him.

“Just seems like you wanted to leave,” he said, stopping me. “I’m sorry if I misread.”

I thought about lying to him and running off, but I found myself turning back to him.

“You didn’t misread anything; I did want to leave. But I could lose everything if I ditched. It’s safer if I just stayed for the day.”

“You sure about that?” He asked, raising his brows. “Look, whatever happened, I know it has something to do with school. You aren’t going to be good for anyone if you can’t even be there without bursting into tears. Maybe you overworked yourself and could use a break?”

I stared at him for a moment longer, fully intending to decline his offer. But then I bit onto my bottom lip, chewing on it nervously until I tasted blood. My heart was pounding heavily against my ribcage.

“My car is just around the corner,” he added with a shrug as he turned away. “We could get ice cream.

“Ice cream?” I asked, raising my brows. He now had my interest.

He paused and turned back to me, holding out his hand for me to take. I glanced at it momentarily, trying to decide if I should go with him, or not. I sighed and hesitantly took his hand. He grasped it firmly and pulled me along with him.

Together, we ran across the parking lot until we reached his car. I half expected some of his friends to be waiting for him so they could all ditch together, but to my surprise, they weren’t.

I looked back at the school with an incredibly heavy heart; I was going to miss Joseph’s class later. He was going to be worried about me; Ruby was going to worry too.

It was around lunchtime, and I knew Ruby was waiting for me in the lunchroom. I left my cell phone in my locker so she wouldn’t be able to reach me. Going off with Brian was probably the stupidest thing I could have ever done, but he was right. I couldn’t stand being in that building without bursting into tears.

“I know you don’t trust me,” Brian said from the other side of his car.

Neither of us had gotten into the car; I was staring at the school and Brian was staring at me. I turned to look at him and I saw sadness in his eyes. I wasn’t sure why he suddenly had this change of heart and seemed different; maybe it was because I was so heartbroken over Joseph that I wasn’t thinking clearly myself.

I didn’t say anything though, because he was right. I didn’t trust him.

“But there’s no harm in escaping reality for a little bit, right?” He continued, still staring pointedly at me.

He was right about that too; there wasn’t any harm in that, and I think it might have been something I desperately needed.

At least for right now.

With one more look at the school, I took a deep breath and opened the passenger side car door.

“Okay,” I finally said, meeting his eyes. “Let’s get out of here.”