Chapter 88

Tessa’s POV

“What do you mean love? You think you love him after he ghosted you?” I asked, trying to hold back my second round of laughter.

However, the sadness in her eyes made things less humorous and jabbed painfully at my heart.

“No,” she admitted, looking down at her hands. “But I thought maybe I could love him someday. I don’t know why I feel so sad over this one guy. I only knew him for one night and had sex with him once. I’ve had sex with guys before and never felt this attached afterward. At least not since, Todd,” she said, naming her ex-boyfriend.

I sighed and took another swig of wine while pouring her another glass. Once I put the wine bottle down, I pressed my knees to my chest and took a sip of the wine in my glass.

“I don’t know much about love myself,” I admitted. “But I know it’s a feeling like no other. A connection between the heart, mind, and soul. When you kiss, it’s like you’re the only two people in the room. His eyes pouring into you will keep you in a trance and you’ll find yourself drooling over him. Wanting to rip is clothes off every time you see them. Wanting to brush your fingers through his soft hair after he just wakes up. The way he looks at your lips and thinks about kissing you. Your heart building up all these feelings and feeling like it’s about to burst unless you tell him how you feel—”

“Are we still talking about me?” Ruby chuckled. “Because it sounds like you’re talking about Joseph.”

My face warmed at her words, and I knew I was probably as red as a cherry.

“I don’t really know where I stand with Joseph. But there’s part of me that’s still holding onto a little bit of hope…”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt again, Tess,” Ruby said, throwing her arms around me.

“Me either…” I said in return, but I wasn’t so sure I could prevent that from happening.

Regardless of what happened, I was going to get hurt.

…

Joseph’s POV

I couldn’t concentrate.

The thought of Tessa’s amazing body pressed against mine and the sound of her moaning my name in my ear was causing me to grow hard. I was sitting at my desk, trying to get work done for most of the day and her scent that still lingered on my body would invade my senses and make me forget everything I was doing.

I was weak last night, and I let a little alcohol cloud my judgment.

I just couldn’t help it with the way she was looking at me and biting her bottom lip. I wanted to claim her… I wanted to have her as mine right then and there.

My cock grew in my pants, raging at the very thought of her.

I wanted to take her again, and again.

But I couldn’t have her… she was my student.

What did she even see in me?

I was nothing more than a dangerous vampire. She should be afraid of me. I could kill her within seconds and others of my kind wouldn’t even bat an eye. Maybe it was only the fact that I was both her first and second favorite author. I also help her a lot with her blog and classwork. I am somewhat of a mentor.

Maybe that’s the reason she wants me.

The thought brought an ache to my chest, and I shook my head to shake away the thought.

It didn’t matter anymore. She probably hates me now. I snuck out in the middle of the night and didn’t wake her to say goodbye. I left her nothing but a box of pop tarts and a note on a sticky. It was pathetic of me. I was running away, I’ll admit.

I was cowardly and didn’t want to face her yet. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say to her. But after thinking about it for most of the day, I was coming to terms with what I truly wanted.

I wanted Tessa.

I wanted to feel her soft skin against mine. I wanted to hear her say my name. I want to feel her lips against mine. I want her delicious scent to be on me and around me all the time.

I wanted her more than anything and I was stupid for allowing her to slip through my fingers.

Then again, it could be her blood that attracts me to her.

No.

As much as I wanted to blame the sweet scent of her blood, I couldn’t. It wasn’t her blood that attracted me, and I knew that.

It was her.

I needed to see her. I was growing restless.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was past 10 p.m. I hadn’t slept at all today and I knew she was probably asleep right now. I needed to go for a walk to clear my head.

I grabbed my coat, knowing nights in this town were a little cold, and I left my house, walking towards the main gates that lead into the streets. The streets were beginning to flood with people again once word got out that it was safe again.

Even when it was late at night, the city was very much alive.

I breathed in the cold hair and allowed it to soothe the anxieties bubbling in the pit of my stomach. My mind kept wandering back to the thought of Tessa and I fought against those thoughts. The point of this walk was to clear my head.

Although I never really got a chance to talk to her about that kiss and now, I needed to talk to her about the sex we just had. I never really gave her a chance to say anything. I felt a wave of guilt punching me in the stomach and I swallowed down the feeling.

I continued walking just as a gust of wind blew through my hair and left a shiver on my skin.

Picking up the speed, I began to run. I needed to feel the burning of my lungs to distract me from all other thoughts. It takes a while for me to feel that burn, but once I do, it’s glorious. I took a steady and deep breath and then I ran even faster until sweat stained my shirt and made it stick to my skin.

Sweat beaded on my forehead and dripped down my neck, making me think how sweat dripped down Tessa’s neck and I wanted to lick it.

Fuck.

The blood was rushing to my cock. I had to think of something not Tessa-related and calm my body down.

Why don’t you just talk to her about it and tell her how you feel? I asked myself pathetically.

I hid myself in an ally, leaning against the outer wall of a building, waiting for my erection to go down. Maybe telling her of my feelings would help put my mind at ease.

I emerged from the ally and looked around at my surroundings. It didn’t take long before I recognized certain things around this part of the city and my heart fell into my stomach.

I turned around and stared up at the building I was just leaning on again. It was Tessa’s apartment complex. My heart was rapidly beating in my chest. I must have subconsciously run here. It wasn’t my goal to stop by her place, but I needed to see her, and my body knew that.

It couldn’t hold on any longer.

I went inside the building and began my way up the stairs until I reached Tessa’s door at the end of the hallway.

I paused outside her door when I saw a faint light underneath the doorframe.

She was awake?

Just as I got closer to the door, I heard murmurs. Both female. One Tessa and the other… Ruby.

I tuned in with my vampire hearing to listen to what they were saying.

“I don’t know much about love myself. But I know it’s a feeling like no other. A connection between the heart, mind, and soul. When you kiss, it’s like you’re the only two people in the room. His eyes pouring into you will keep you in a trance and you’ll find yourself drooling over him. Wanting to rip is clothes off every time you see them. Wanting to brush your fingers through his soft hair after he just wakes up. The way he looks at your lips and thinks about kissing you. Your heart building up all these feelings and feeling like it’s about to burst unless you tell him how you feel—” That voice came from Tessa, tightening my throat.

“Are we still talking about me?” I heard Ruby asking. “Because it sounds like you’re talking about Joseph.”

“I don’t really know where I stand with Joseph. But there’s part of me that’s still holding onto a little bit of hope…”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt again, Tess,” Ruby said in return, and I heard the worry in her voice.

“Me either…” Tessa responded, and I heard the pain in hers.

Did this mean she was falling in love?