Chapter 119

After another day or so, I really do feel like my old self again. The brothers are still being protective of Mia. I can’t blame them exactly. I don’t want to do anything to make that baby sick.

But I am lonely.

At least, they let me out of the house today, so I leave and walk across campus. My feet bring me to the hospital.

I feel bad. With my illness, I haven’t been in to see Tide for a while. I stop at the little store in the hospital lobby and buy some fresh cut flowers. In his room, I replace the dying ones from the last time I visited with the fresh.

Tide hasn’t changed. He’s still in his coma. His hair is longer, though someone must be shaving his chin since he has no beard. His nails are trimmed too. At least the hospital is taking good care of him, even if his family has abandoned him.

Not for the first time, I wish that I had done more to save him from this fate. It’s possible that any money I gave him would have only led to requests for more and more, but wouldn’t that have been better than… this?

I’ve also failed in my vow to grow stronger for him. With my illness, I’ve become complacent with my training. No, maybe it’s been even longer than that. Ever since I became a Nanny, my skills have suffered.

I came to this school to become a warrior. And I have hell all to show for it.

I’ve only mounting evidence of my failures.

The sooner I’m done being a nanny, the sooner I can return to focusing on my main goals.

With I sigh, I realize I am making the same mistake I’ve been making the past two months. Being complacent. Making excuses.

If this is my true dream, which it is, I need to work harder to achieve it. I need to keep training now. I can’t risk becoming even slower.

This illness…

My body has been so frail. I never got sick back home when I was more active. I am failing my future and my body with my inaction.

I can’t keep letting it happen.

What if I meet another Tide? A person who needs my help?

I need to be at my peak, to help them. And without a wolf, I have to work twice as hard as anyone else.

I can’t afford to let myself slip.

But where can I train without the brothers knowing about it? They were so firm in their belief that I will never be a warrior. I doubt that’s changed, even if we have grown closer since then.

Whatever I do will need to be done in secret.

As I’m mulling it over, my phone rings, pulling me from my thoughts. I check my phone.

Angela?

I answer and bring the phone to my ear. “Hello?”

“Chloe,” Angela says. “It’s so great to hear you. It’s been too long. What do you say to lunch?”

An hour later, I sit down in a café across the table from Angela. Her eyes are red-rimmed, like she has been crying for days. She sniffles even now, then blows her nose with a handkerchief.

“Are you sick?” I ask, sitting back a little. Having just recovered, I’m not super eager to catch a cold again.

“No,” she says. She slumps in her chair. “I’m miserable.”

Oh. I move closer again. “Because of the proposal?”

“I couldn’t care less about the proposal,” she said.

“Really?” If my boyfriend proposed using the wrong name, I would have been furious. I know Angela and Neil have a… special arrangement, but surely Angela would at least be upset with the optics of it.

But, apparently not.

“Gods, I wish he had proposed to you.” She blows her nose again. “Then I wouldn’t have to marry him.”

Oh. So the wedding is the real problem.

For her, I suppose it must be. Being tied down to a man you don’t love sounds like a chore on top of everything else. Even cordial, you would have to see them every day, pretend you loved them at every function. And then, if children are expected…

With the last name Hayes, and a father as terrible as Neil’s, children are likely expected.

“I’m sorry,” I say, feeling pretty miserable too.

“I’m going to try to put off the wedding as long as I’m able. My parents will help me. But… If the Alpha Hayes decides it’s time, no one will be able to stop it. I just hope the proposal itself is enough for him, for a while.”

No one could defy the Alpha Hayes. Not even Neil.

Maybe especially Neil.

My heart sunk down further.

“You have to keep seeing him,” Angela says.

“I’m sorry. What?” That is not what I expected her to want to talk about today. That isn’t even in the same ballpark as what I thought.

“He changed when he was with you,” Angela says. “Maybe if he gets caught up with you again, he might want to call off the wedding, and…”

“It’s not possible,” I say, stopping her train of thought before it could veer even farther off the tracks.

Angela has doe eyes. I’ve always known this. She uses them now on me, and I so very nearly give in. She’s a pro at that look.

But wanting to still doesn’t make it possible. Neil made his feelings very clear on the matter of me and him.

Besides, if I’m honest with myself, as sexy as Neil is, I really don’t want to be tied up with a man who’s engaged. Especially when said man’s father physically attacks him every time he’s mentioned in the same sentence as me.

“I’m sorry,” I say to Angela. “It really isn’t possible. Neil drew a line, and I don’t want to cross it.”

She lowered her head but didn’t argue. “I understand.”

I doubt her plan would even have worked anyway. Neil fall in love with me? Enough to break his engagement? And stand up to his father?

Yeah, right.

I can’t even imagine that for fantasy purposes. It’s just too far-fetched.

But, just because I couldn’t have my fun with Neil, doesn’t mean I would judge anyone else from theirs.

“Are you going to keep seeing Beau?” I ask

Angela seems confused by my question. “You didn’t know?”

“No… Know what?”

“I haven’t slept with Beau since well before the engagement.”

That’s news to me. Didn’t they have a pretty good arrangement that worked for both of them? Sex, with no strings?

“Why?” I ask, then realize how probing of a question that is. It’s really not any of my business what those two get up to behind closed doors. And I’d rather not think about Beau and sex in the same sentence right now.

Ever since he read that chapter and I…

My face burns with embarrassment. Gods, what am I thinking! I try to school my features, but Angela watches me curiously. She doesn’t call me out, thank the Gods. She’s a pal for sure.

She also doesn’t seem all that put off by my question.

“It was only ever fun between Beau and me. He’s a good fuck, for sure. But, even I could tell, when he was starting to get distracted during sex.”

That… is new. As far as I could tell, Beau is a sex god on campus.

“It seemed like he wasn’t as into it lately, and I am not about to sleep with someone who can’t even look me in the eye.”

I open my mouth to say something. But I don’t know what to say so I close it again.

Angela shrugs. “It’s almost like he was fantasizing about someone else.”

That sends my mind into a tailspin. Who could Beau possibly be thinking of during sex?