Chapter 133

“No,” Neil say, simple as anything.

“You can’t say no,” I argue. “I’m telling you I quit.”

“I do not accept your resignation.”

“You don’t have a choice.” I’m getting angry now. It’s difficult to keep my voice level. “I quit, get it? I’m out. Done. Finished. I’m packing my things and out the door by the end of the day.”

Archer glances from me to Neil. He backs up a step as Neil moves forward, coming closer to me.

He stands tall and proud. If he didn’t otherwise look like the poster child for sleep deprivation, you might never suspect that he has silver embedded in his chest.

Knowing he has that wound, and that he is choosing to hide it under such a convincing layer of intimidation is actually pretty badass. Not that I want to give him a compliment.

What I want is to get that silver out of him before he dies.

He lifts his chin and stares down at me along the bridge of his nose.

“I do not accept your resignation,” he says, and there’s a definitive edge to how he says it. Like this is the absolute, hands-down end of the discussion.

What bothers me is not the sheer bossiness of it. Living with the Hayes brothers, I’m used to that. No. What really gets me, is that, I just don’t understand any of it at all.

Neil is willing to put his life on the line to get me to stay here for another few weeks.

“Why?” I ask. It just doesn’t make any sense.

“You are good with Mia,” Neil says. That’s not nearly enough of an answer.

“So find someone else who is good with her.” I shake my head. I have no idea how to make him understand. “Being a good nanny isn’t worth your life, Neil. You know that. There has to be another reason for why you are doing this, and I want to know what it is.”

Behind Neil, Archer crosses his arms. “You don’t have a right to know that. Neil’s decision is his own.”

So much for Archer being on my side.

“Glad we can finally agree,” says Beau from behind me.

“No,” I say, firm. “That’s not good enough for me. If you want me to stay, you will tell me why.”

“We have a contract,” Neil says.

“That’s not good enough! I want the real reason!”

“You’ll get whatever reason I tell you,” Neil snaps back. He’s inched closer, close enough that I can see the tiny red strands in his bloodshot eyes. It almost makes me want to soften my harsh stance.

Almost.

If I back off now, I know I’ll never get a straight answer. They’ll just push me around forever and keep me in the dark. I search for a compromise.

“Just give me a reason that makes sense.” Even if it’s a lie. Because nothing he is saying could possibly justify the risk on his life.

Neil takes a deep inhale. When he exhales, his shoulders lower like a deflating balloon. He’s held himself too proudly for too long. Now the exhaustion is creeping in around the edges, bringing him down.

“I don’t know the real reason,” he says.

“You’re lying.” I can see it so clearly. He’s not even trying to hide it. And while I would accept a lie, it has to be somewhat believable. I’m not a total flake who would just accept whatever he says as fact, even when my intent is to lie to myself about it. “If you want to feed me a lie, at least make it better than this.”

“Fine. You want the truth? The real reason?” Neil says. Something within him has broken, I can see it now. He’s still got some fight in him, but he’s just so tired.

“Neil,” Archer says like a warning.

But Neil holds up his hand, silencing Archer. What did Archer say? Neil’s decision is his own.

The brothers will always defer to their eldest brother’s judgment.

Neil takes another breath. Then, like it pains him, he says, “I’m drawn to you… in a way I don’t fully understand.”

I blink once, twice, as I try to let my brain process the words. It’s taking a good long while.

Neil motions to Archer. “Archer is too.”

Now, I’m doubly confused. Triply, when Archer grunts but doesn’t deny it.

“Don’t drag me into this,” Archer says.

My brain cannot connect the dots here. This has to be some kind of gag they are playing on me, and a poorly timed one at that.

“Some joke,” I say, frowning. “This isn’t the time for this kind of ridiculousness. Your life is worth more than… whatever we were doing. Fooling around?” Neil made it clear at several points that the fling we shared meant little and wasn’t intended to last. He’s engaged, for Gods’ sake. Though maybe not for that much longer.

Ug. I’m so confused. And it hurts.

Even if what he is saying now is the truth. Even if he is drawn to me. If he likes our intimate moments together…

It’s still not worth this risk to his life. And I would never be a willing participant in watching him suffer when I could do something to stop it.

I don’t know how to say the words. I want to convince him but I feel my own exhaustion pull at me now. I’ve been so focused on saving Neil, and now, it feels so impossible.

Tears well in the corners of my eyes. I hate them. They start to fall just to spite me.

“I don’t want you to die,” I say. It’s soft, barely a whisper, nearly lost under a quiet sniffle.

But Neil hears it. His shoulders drop impossibly further. He looks like he might just fall over, and it hurts to see him like that. He’s always so strong and confident. He carries everyone’s burdens on his shoulders and doesn’t complain.

But who carries his burdens? Who will help him now that he’s struggling?

“You have to let me quit,” I say. I’m begging now.

He gently shakes his head, just once. “Don’t ask me again.”

“But –”

“I’ll hold out, Chloe. I promise. I can make it until the end of the contract.”

He already looks so weak. I have trouble believing.

“Neil’s wolf is the toughest out of all of us,” Archer says.

“He’s not as physically strong as Archer,” Beau adds, moving beside Archer. “But he’s tough as nails. If Neil says he can hold out, then he can hold out.”

I wipe away some of my tears with the back of my hand. The brothers seem a bit panicked at the sight of my tears.

Neil says, “Don’t cry,” and the others start nodding.

“Please,” adds Steven from the doorway.

It’s a little bit ridiculous. These four big strong men not fearful of pain, so concerned over a few small tears.

Steven comes into the room more fully, but only by one step. Mia has fallen asleep against him.

“Neil can come to me for regular check-ups,” Steven says. “I’ll keep track of his injury, and if it gets too bad, we can take action.”

“A reasonable compromise,” Beau says.

I glance up at Neil. He looks more worried about me than he does about himself. Typical for the selfless, likeable bastard.

“That works for you?” I ask. “You promise to do the check-ups?”

Neil nods. “I promise.”

I consider this situation. I’m not happy with it, not by a long shot. I want that silver out of Neil yesterday. But if he won’t budge, this might be the best I can get for now.

I’ll never stop trying to convince him otherwise, however. Not until that poison is out of his body.

“Fine,” I say, to settle it for now. Though I still feel a spark of fight within me.

Neil notices, maybe. Because in the next breath, he says to his brothers, “Let me speak with Chloe alone.”