Chapter 156

Now, I’m even more confused about what to do. Archer’s offer to claim my virginity was unexpected. But Beau’s? That was even more out of left field. Although, knowing Beau, maybe I should have expected it.

Now, I’m in the kitchen with Mia in her high chair. I just fed and burped her and now I’m trying to make myself a bowl of cereal. Yet when I pour the milk, I am so distracted that I entirely miss the bowl.

It splashes everywhere and makes a big mess. I stop at once, then sigh at my own silly distraction. Mia laughs. Neil, sitting on the far end of the counter, looks up from the newspaper he’s reading.

“Chloe?” he asks. “Are you alright?”

No, I’m not alright. I’m slowly losing my mind to horny thoughts.

I don’t say that as I go to get a towel and clean up my mess. Instead I say, “I’m fine.” Unfortunately I say it in such a short way that even the most oblivious person on the planet wouldn’t believe it.

Neil is not the most oblivious person on the planet. Watching me, his eyes narrow. He folds the newspaper and entirely places it to one side. I have his full attention now, which means trouble for me. It’s only a matter of time before someone as stubborn and determined as Neil uncovers the truth.

“Is one of my brothers mistreating you?” he asks. “Archer? Beau?”

“It’s nothing like that,” I say, another boldfaced lie. Well, at least half of one. Truth is, the guys have been great to me lately. Sort of. In their own ways. What’s bothering me isn’t about them mistreating me, it’s about them wanting to do even more for me…

“You are blushing,” Neil says. He pitches his voice lower. “Are they trying to push you into something?”

How a man so physically exhausted and sick could still rile up the energy to be furious on my behalf is beyond my understanding. By every account, Neil should be in bed barely able to stand. Yet here he is, fists clenched, looking for all the world like he’s about to storm off and challenge one of his brothers.

“It really isn’t like that…” Oh, Gods, this time, I sound even less convincing. Neil abruptly stands and walks closer to me. He’s steady on his feet, somehow. It must be from pure determination alone, if nothing else.

I’ve cleaned up the counter by now, and tossed the dirty towel in the sink. So there’s nothing for me to do to keep myself busy as he comes near me. I can only turn and face him.

He towers over me, even as I’m standing. His gaze is fierce as he looks down at me, considering me.

I can’t hide from him like this. He can see straight through me.

Hell, he could see through me from the other side of the counter. I’d have no shot now anyway.

“I know you’ve been intimate with Beau,” he says.

“It’s not –”

He holds up a hand and I stop.

“I don’t need the details,” he says.

He’s so stern, I can’t tell if he’s jealous. I don’t… think so? Or maybe he’s blocking all emotions.

I want to tell him that Beau and I are just fooling around. Friends with benefits, though we haven’t really had that talk yet. But Neil doesn’t seem so inclined to listen. Maybe it doesn’t matter right now.

He’s likely in a lot of pain to confront me like this. So I better keep my mouth shut and let him get on with it before he actually hurts himself.

“What are you asking, then, Neil?” I push. The sooner this conversation is done, the sooner I can move on from my full-bodied overwhelming embarrassment and Neil can sit down again before he falls down.

His mouth stays a hard line for a moment more. Then he says, “Is Beau pushing you into having penetrative sex?”

If I was blushing before, it’s nothing compared to the full blast of heat that burns my cheeks now. My embarrassment is all-encompassing. I shake with it, as it pumps fiercely and relentlessly through my veins.

How does he know that I was thinking about giving up my virginity? But, wait… That’s not what he asked.

“No one is pressuring me!” I say at once. It’s important for him to know that. He likely does inside. He knows his brothers better than me, but even I know they would never push someone to have sex. Even if they weren’t decent that way, which they are, they simply wouldn’t need to.

How many hundreds or thousands of girls would fall at their feet just for the chance to sleep with one of them? Pressuring me would be entirely pointless.

Neil watches me for a long moment. I don’t know what kind of emotions play out over my face, but I’m sure it’s a lot of them. He watches it all like a movie.

“You are thinking about giving up your virginity,” he says.

Oh. My. Gods.

How do they all seem to know that? Is my body giving off some kind of pheromone? Can they read my mind? Are they all secretly talking about me behind my back?

I can feel a shift in Neil then. He’s straightening himself up, taking a breath. Gods help me, is he about to offer himself up as well? I can’t take it. I have trouble deciding as it is!

“I don’t want to talk about this in front of the baby!” I say at once. For good measure, I motion to where Mia sits in her high chair. She’s watching us with eyes the size of dinner plates.

Neil, seeing her, collects himself. “Of course.”

I sigh in relief.

“But,” he starts.

My breath gets caught in my throat.

“I would like to continue this conversation later,” he says. “Come to my room when you are finished with Mia and we will talk privately.”

“This isn’t what you think, Neil…” Except it totally is.

He gives me a firm, flat look. “My room. Later.”

What can I do but nod? Neil is the most stubborn man I know, likely the most stubborn man in existence. He’s not going to let this go until I set him straight.

And I really don’t want to talk about this in front of the baby.

Plus, maybe I need time to gather my thoughts.

Neil, satisfied with my nod, returns to his side of the counter, collects his newspaper, and leaves the room. He makes sure to give Mia a wide birth so as not to hurt her.

I frown as I watch him leave. Mia, mimicking me, does too.

Later, after I put Mia down for a nap, I head to Neil’s room as I promised. The light is on and the door is slightly ajar. He never leaves it open unless he’s in there.

I peek but I don’t see him right away. So I knock.

Listening carefully, I don’t hear any acknowledgement.

“Neil?” I call out.

This seems strange. Did he go somewhere?

Maybe he’s in his bathroom.

Slowly, I open the door to his bedroom and walk into his room.

“Neil, are you in here?”

He must be in the bathroom. The bedroom is empty.

So I start walking there. That door is ajar too. Through the crack, I see Neil, fully clothed but on the floor.

“Neil!”

I rush now, pushing open the bathroom door.

Neil is entirely collapsed. I fall to my knees beside him. Is he breathing? He looks so pale, and his hands are cold.

“Archer! Beau! Steven!” I scream.

My heart thunders out of control.

“Anyone!! Help!”