Chapter 253

“I don’t regret what happened here,” he says, which is the biggest non-answer I’ve ever heard in my life. I guess, at least, it’s somewhat of a comfort to know that this isn’t something he’ll think about poorly.

But that doesn’t mean he’ll want to do it again. And that he’s not confirming that he might want to is enough to tell me this was probably a one and done.

I’m not mad. He’s been clear that he wants to only have sex for love. We’ve definitely jumped the gun here. I have affection for Steven, and I’m sure he does for me. But I’m not sure it’s love.

I don’t even really know what love feels like.

But I’d be lying if I said I’m not disappointed.

“In fact,” Steven continues, “I deeply, deeply enjoyed it.”

That gives me some comfort. “I enjoyed it too.”

“I’m glad.”

We look at each other in the dim light. The day has passed us by and the sun is setting. My east facing windows already show the night sky outside, with only a hint of the orange and purple of sunset.

“It’s difficult to hold back with you,” Steven says. He’s whispering in the quiet, but I can hear each word clearly. “I want you, Chloe. So badly it makes me ache sometimes. But I…” He sighs.

“You have your rules,” I say. “You don’t have to be ashamed of that.”

“I’m not,” he says. “But I want you to know that, it’s not you. I know that’s a line that everyone uses, but I hope you can tell I mean it. I want you, but we can’t continue as we are.”

“I understand,” I say, even as my heart clenches. “Honestly, today is more than I ever thought possible.” I will never ask for more from Steven than he is willing to give. Today was a dream that I would hold onto forever, but I will absolutely respect his wishes for it to not happen again.

Everything hurts, but still I manage to find the courage to say, “I hope you find your love someday, Steven.” If anyone deserves it, it’s him.

Steven looks at me with a guarded expression that I can’t quite discern. I wish I could tell what he’s thinking. Does he not think he’s worthy of love? Or is it something else that’s troubling him, that he wants to hide from me?

He doesn’t say. Instead, he rolls onto his back and looks up at the ceiling. It feels like the end of the conversation. I have no idea how to continue it, so I roll onto my back too.

After a few moments in silence, Steven checks his watch. “I have to get going,” he says. “My brothers and I are attending an event tonight.”

“What event?”

Steven sighs and sits up. He pushes himself out of bed. He’s being guarded again, but this time I can tell that he’s trying to protect me from something.

“Steven?” I sit up too. As he starts to head to the bedroom door, I jump out of bed to follow him into the living room. “What event?” I ask again, more forcefully.

“Forget I said anything,” he says.

And, hell no, that’s not going to fly with me. I rush forward and grab his arm. He lets me turn him so that he’s facing me.

“What is going on?” I demand.

He looks at me a moment, then sighs again. “I guess you’ll find out soon enough anyway.” He takes a deep breath. “Tonight, my brothers and I are making our first public move against our father.”

“When? Where?”

“You’ll see it. Just keep your eyes on the news tonight.”

He doesn’t seem inclined to reveal anymore. Chances are, he’s already revealed much more than he was supposed to. I won’t say a word about it though.

His face shifts and he looks troubled. Maybe I should tell him I’ll keep his secret. I open my mouth, but he speaks first.

“Don’t go out tonight, okay?” he says.

I close my mouth.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen tonight, but I know that I would feel much better knowing that you are safely as far away from this as possible.”

“Okay,” I say.

“Promise me.” He’s serious.

“I promise,” I say. “I’ll stay home tonight.”

At last some of the concern leaves his face and he looks relieved. “Good. Okay.”

Without warning, he comes in for a hug. I fold into it immediately, though it doesn’t linger. It’s definitely not the ‘we just had sex’ kind of hug. It’s moreso a ‘see you later, friend’ kind of hug.

I try not to let that bother me.

We say goodbye at the door, he tells me to lock up, and then he’s gone. Just like that.

Well, if he’s so quick to move on from what we did tonight, then I need to as well. I look down at the state of myself, heave a great breath, and then head to take a shower.

When I’m clean and changed into my comfortable pajamas, I make dinner in the microwave and then sit in front of the television to watch the news. I’ve moved the television back into the living room, but I haven’t moved the couch, so I sit on the floor for now.

The only event that I can tell is being broadcast tonight is a campaign rally for the Alpha King’s main rival. Is the election coming up? Alpha King Hayes has won so many times now that I’ve stopped keeping track really. It seems silly to vote, since he always wins.

I guess I should really vote this year, though.

I can’t imagine this is the event the brothers are attending though. Alpha King Hayes always wins. Even with the brothers’ support, this other guy doesn’t stand much of a chance.

It must be something else.

Finished with dinner, I take my dishes into the kitchen to clean up. Just as I dry off my hands, my phone begins to ring. I go over and answer it.

It’s Debbie.

“Hey, Debbie –”

“Do you have your television on?” she asks. The clear excitement in her voice makes it high, her words smashed together in one quick breath.

“Uh…” Leaving the kitchen, I walk back into the living room and glance at the television. At once, my stomach drops down to the ground and my dinner threatens to resurface.

On the screen, are close-ups of the brothers smiling faces. Standing beside them is the Alpha King’s rival.

“Why are the Hayes brothers at their dad’s rival’s event?” Debbie insists. It seems she doesn’t know his name either. It’s so unimportant, apparently, that it doesn’t even make the news scrawl at the bottom of the screen. Instead the scrawl reads, Hayes Brothers Support Father’s Rival.

I almost feel bad for the guy.

At least, I would, if I wasn’t so busy being surprised and alarmed at the Hayes brothers making such a bold move.

“I…” I can see why Steven wanted me to stay in. A public move against their father, indeed. I had no idea they’d ramp up from zero to a million quite this quickly.

“This is the worst thing they could ever do!” Debbie says, though she honestly sounds happy about it. She always did love the drama. “The public will turn against them for sure!”