Chapter 311

Debbie’s question and my response stay with me the rest of the day. As happy as I am to have Tide back with us again, it is hard not to feel anything other than restless with how uncertain I am in my own life.

I try to be positive during the rest of the visit, and even as I hug and say goodbye to Debbie and Tide.

But it’s always sitting in the back of my mind.

If I have to pick only one, who would it be?

Beau, Steven, Archer, or Neil.

It seems an impossible choice.

I’m so distracted, I skip dinner, and after putting Mia down to sleep, I head to my room and flop face first down onto my bed.

Alone, the thoughts are even louder and more insistent.

What if I don’t mate with any of them? What if it’s a stranger who claims me?

What if I have to leave the Pyramid and I never get to see the brothers again? I can’t imagine that any potential partner would be okay with me staying in the same house as three previous lovers.

Especially when I still want them to be my lovers.

Or would that drive disappear if I found another to call my mate?

Groaning, I turn over onto my back and stare at the ceiling, but there’s no answers up there either.

A knock on the door startles me from my thoughts. I quickly think about who it could be. One of the brothers. It doesn’t matter which one, I’d be happy for the company.

“Come in,” I call. I don’t bother getting up.

I turn my head to see Neil enter. He closes the door behind him, then crosses the room to come to my side. He stands beside the bed a moment, looking down at me. His face is all scrunched up like he has something to say.

“You can get comfortable,” I say.

Immediately, he sits down beside me, then reclines so he’s laying right next to me. I don’t bother inching over to give him room. I like the way our arms are pressing together from shoulder to elbow.

I wait for him to say what he came to say. It looks like it’s about to burst out of him, so I don’t have to wait long.

“The advisors want me to run for Alpha King. The people, apparently, want it to. But what kind of life would that be for me?”

I turn my head to look at him. His mouth is pulled tightly. He’s clearly stressed out just thinking about the job.

“They want me to lead a nation, but they don’t consider what that means for me.”

“Don’t you want a political career?” I ask.

“I do,” he says firmly. His voice softens at once. “But… I expected it later in life. Not now. Not… when there are so many other things I want to do first.”

“What things?” I ask.

“A political career, especially to be Alpha King, would demand all of my time and attention. I wouldn’t be able to I don’t know, finish school? Stay on the lacrosse team? Find love? Start a family? There’s too many things to count.”

“Then tell them no,” I say.

He closes him mouth. Opens it. Closes it again. Then he tilts his head to look at me. “It’s not that simple.”

“Why not?” I ask him. “Why can’t it be? Just tell them maybe someday you’ll do it, but not yet. Not right now.”

“You don’t think that’s irresponsible of me?”

“It’s not irresponsible to want to have your own stable life before you go on to save the rest of the world,” I say. “Besides, you’re right. You are still in school. You’re allowed to be young. All those people trying to get you to grow up too fast can step off. This is your life, Neil. Not theirs.”

“I would be a good Alpha King…”

“You will,” I say with certainty. “You’ll be a great Alpha King. Later.”

I could see him struggle with the idea. Neil, always so responsible and dependable, willing to take on the whole world to protect his family, has no idea how to stand up for himself.

“If you won’t do it for yourself, then do it for me,” I say.

That startles him. His eyes widen a little. “For you?”

I blush slightly, realizing what I said and the implications of it. I won’t back down, though.

“Yeah.” I look away, back up at the ceiling again. “I’d miss you.”

Slowly, gently, he lifts his hand and traces the back of his fingers down my cheek. His touch is so soft that I close my eyes and hum, falling into the tenderness of the moment.

His fingers continue down, trailing down the column of my throat. He stops at the crook of my neck and shoulder. The same place that Beau had nearly bitten down.

“Neil?”

His eyes are fixated on the spot.

“Neil? Are you okay?”

My words startle him from his trance, and he looks up at my face. Then he shakes his head and glances away, seemingly embarrassed.

“My apologies, Chloe. I don’t know what came over me just now.”

I had seen a look like that once before, when I had been in bed with Beau, when he nearly kissed me. I hadn’t expected the same look from Neil.

Nor did I expect the sudden wash of disappointment at how fast Neil had been able to restrain himself.

“It’s okay,” I say and card my fingers through his hair, hoping to bring him back to me and to this soft moment between us.

His gaze falls down onto the length of my body, and I know I’ve won, at least with the promise of desire.

Neil’s voice dips into a growl. “I want to taste you, Chloe.”

“Okay.” I sound eager. I couldn’t care less.

“Take off your pants,” he commands.

“Okay,” I say, and can’t move fast enough.

Later, as Neil holds me, sated and content in his arms, he leans down and presses the softest of kisses to the crook of my neck. I close my eyes, secretly begging for more. But all too soon he pulls back. For the rest of the night, he gives no more attention to that spot.

The next morning, I wake up alone. My bed is too big and too empty. It’s cool too. Neil must have sneaked out as soon as I fell asleep.

I get Mia and head down to the kitchen, hoping to run into him along the way.

Steven is alone in the kitchen when I enter.

“Have you seen Neil?” I ask as I set Mia up in her high chair.

“He left early this morning,” Steven replies. “Near dawn. He didn’t say where he was going.”

Gods, I hope I didn’t scare him off last night.

“Everything alright?” Steven asks.

“It’s fine,” I say, giving him a false smile. “It’s okay.”

He nods a little.

In the next moment, Beau bursts into the kitchen. He has a bunch of balloons floating from strings in his hands. The balloons are all kinds of colors, one in every shade.

“Beau? What is this?”

“Chloe! It’s time to plan your birthday party!”

Immediately my stomach sinks to the floor.

My birthday is presumably when I will start to feel my mate bond.

It’s the day I could lose the brothers for good.