Chapter 98

I am struck speechless by the sheer amount of bruises covering Neil’s bare chest. His usual attractive physique is hidden behind splotches of red and purple. Angry, swelling marks and cuts with drops of blood.

“This is a lesson?” I ask. Outrage swirls inside of me, making my gut clench uncomfortably. I want to find out whoever did this to him and return the favor tenfold.

I have questions and I want answers. But first, I want to make sure that he’s okay.

I walk closer to him. He doesn’t move except to watch me as I come to stand before him. I think to tug on his arm, but bruises litter the skin there too. The only places that seem untouched are those that would be visible while he wears his usual clothes.

His hand seems safe, so I take it in mine. He doesn’t hold my hand in return, but he doesn’t pull away either. I figure that’s a good sign, so I start to tug him toward the bathroom.

He follows along with a complacency that screams wrong to me. He’s too quiet. Too cold. The light that is Neil seems dim, nearly snuffed out.

I hate his father anew for what’s he done here. Whatever atrocity Neil has committed, nothing is worth this level of hurt that has been inflicted. Especially if, as I suspect, Neil’s only crime has been not following his father’s orders down to the letter.

That, and sharing intimate moments with me.

There’s a small stool in the bathroom, wedged near the corner of the room. I retrieve it, place it near the sink, and motion for Neil to sit.

He does.

When I release his hand, it drops lifelessly down to his side.

“Do you have a first aid kit in here?” I ask.

“Under the sink,” he says.

I look and find a simple first aid kit. I place it on the edge of the sink and open it. I reach for the disinfectant wipes first. Ripping it from its package, I turn towards Neil. He hasn’t moved an inch, not even to turn his head.

“This will hurt,” I say.

He nods.

He’s so battered, I can’t decide where to start. Eventually I decide on his shoulders. I’ll work from the top down. His shoulders are the worst of it, like he had been forced to knee and then hit with a cane over and over.

When I press the wipe there, Neil’s entire body tenses. His teeth grit together but he does not make a sound. He doesn’t move.

More anger pools into my gut. What kind of life has this man known for him to display discipline like this?

“I know it hurts,” I say. “You can curse up a storm if you want. I don’t care.”

“I’m fine,” Neil lied through his teeth.

I finished cleaning the wounds as quickly as I could. Then I moved to bandage the cuts. I’d have to wrap his ribs too. I’m pretty sure there’s a broken one.

“Maybe you should go to a doctor,” I suggest.

“I was already looked at,” Neil says. “I’ll live.”

“Yeah but –”

“I’m fine,” he says again, and I’m not any more inclined to believe him this time than I did last time he said so.

“Fine.” What else could I say? He wants to be miserable? Let him be miserable.

I press a bandage to his back harder than I mean to. He finally flinches. I thought I’d feel better with him admitting that it hurts. Instead, I just feel like the world’s biggest asshole.

“Sorry,” I say.

Neil doesn’t say anything.

Standing behind him, I can’t see his face. I have no idea what he is thinking at all. He could hate me for what I’m doing here. He could resent me for seeing him like this.

Though he was the one who showed me. That has to mean something.

“My father never performs the beatings himself,” Neil says. His voice is quiet, even in the otherwise silent room. “He says it’s distasteful for him to dirty his own hands. He always has someone else to do his handiwork for him.

“So he had some brute beat you with a cane?”

“My wolf is strong,” Neil says. “I’ll heal quickly. It’s already much better than it was when I was seen by the doctor.”

That only makes my fury more scalding. He already looks like someone could have put him in the hospital bed next to Tide. Now he’s saying it was worse?

“I’m so pissed off I want to break something.”

Neil turns his head, glancing at me over his shoulder.

“Some asshole Dad you’ve got. I don’t care how important he is, I hate him. No one should have to face this kind of punishment, especially not you.”

“’Especially not me?’”

I roll my eyes. “Don’t make me spell it out for you, Neil. You are a nice guy, most of the time. You don’t deserve to be treated this way.”

He turns away. “I showed weakness.”

Of all the self-sacrificing bullshit! I’m about ready to yell some sense into Neil. But then I remember that this might be about me.

“Neil. Is this my fault?”

Neil doesn’t reply, but that itself is answer enough.

I place the smaller bandages back into the first aid kit and reach for the wrap instead.

He lifts his arms while I wrap the material around his ribs. I stretch my arms around his torso, careful not to touch anything. He can say he’s fine all he wants, but that doesn’t mean I have to believe him. I also don’t want to hurt him further.

I move so that I’m in front of him now. This brings me dangerously close to his face, but this is the easiest position to do what I need to do. I try not to look at him, not wanting to be obvious in my appreciation of his handsomeness, but I can tell he’s watching my face.

I fight to stop the blush that is rushing to my cheeks. I’m not very successful at it.

He must be able to see the righteous anger alight in me. I don’t try to hide it.

Though I do feel a little bad.

“I’m sorry for my part in this,” I say. As nice as every intimate moment has been with Neil, I would take it all back if it would spare him this beating.

“Don’t worry.” Neil’s gaze drops to the ground. “Soon, none of this will matter anyway.”

“What are you talking about?”

He doesn’t answer, and I absolutely hate it. He looks defeated, like a man broken down to his base parts.

How often has his father down this? Push Neil down just to reshape him into the perfect son?

“Neil, I know I’m not anybody to you. I know I’m just the Nanny. But you can talk to me, okay? I won’t tell anyone anything you say in this room.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Why not?”

He looks up at me. Behind his vacant gaze, deep down into the bits of his soul I can see in his gaze, something sparks.

His eyes drop down to my lips. That’s the only warning I receive before he surges forward and kisses me.