Chapter 5 Confused Feelings

Elizabeth moved into her new office the next day. Keith looked for a new assistant. Elizabeth was hoping she would be a very attractive assistant so that Keith would lose interest in her and be taken with the new assistant instead. Instead she was an older happily married woman.

Because she felt this way, Elizabeth spent the next few months avoiding being alone with Keith. She was given her own cases, they were much smaller than the one she and Keith had worked on together but, Elizabeth loved it. She was not quite as good as Keith but she was still learning, and she liked the independence it gave her.

Elizabeth for her part kept herself entrenched in her work and in her relationship with Paul. She was finding it difficult to avoid Keith though, as he found any reason he could to summon her to his office, or he would pretend to be casually walking by her office and as to not be rude he had to drop in to say ‘hi’. Keith was not ignorant to what was going on and could see exactly what Elizabeth was doing and it frustrated him to no end. He needed to find a way to spend more time with her.

Keith decided to have an office party under the false pretence of thanking all his employees for their hard work and dedication. It was really a party for Elizabeth. He made sure to tell her the party was employees only to ensure Paul would not make an appearance and get between him and Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was dreading this party; she was worried that Keith would try to corner her. She knew she had to go though for morale. So she mentally prepared herself to go to the office party. She decided to wear a simple plain pink dress, and just to leave her hair to fall down her back in their natural curls. She wanted to send a message to Keith that she was not dressing up for him, but she also had to look presentable.

Keith held the party in the banquet hall of the most luxurious hotel in town. Elizabeth thought it was a bit extravagant just for an office party. Elizabeth walked into the banquet hall she looked around; she was surprised to see that she was the only one there. She looked at the time on her phone, she was not early she was actually thirty minutes late. She was confused but she looked around the room and thought it was beautiful.

They had beautiful white gold chandeliers that were dimly lit; candles were heavily throughout the room and lit which added a nice glow. Elizabeth looked around more noticed the flowers, heard the romantic music in the background she realized quickly that this was a set up. She glanced around and saw only one table set with dishes for two, there were only two chairs.

Elizabeth was both impressed at how Keith put it all together. However she was also mad at him. Keith had fooled her into going on a romantic date with him. Keith had not arrived yet so Elizabeth decided that she would leave before he got there. She turned to walk out but as she approached the door she saw a tall shadow walking through the doors, before she saw him she knew it was Keith. He took a couple steps forward and then stopped she looked at him and saw him grinning.

He said “I was wondering if you would try to run. You put in the effort to be late. I’m guessing you were hoping that there would be a lot of people here to put in between us.”

Elizabeth gestured with her hand scanning the room, and answered “Obviously in vain.”

“Yea I may have lied to you a little. Sorry but I miss you, I was willing to do anything I had to spend time with you.” claimed Keith.

“I have a boyfriend, not that I hate the attention. However, I don’t think consorting with an attractive man who’s clearly into me is appropriate. ” Elizabeth stated, and then worried she quickly said “That being said I really enjoy my job.”

Keith snickered at that then asked “Consorting?”

Elizabeth nodded her head to confirm that she meant what she said. Keith laughed then he said under his breath “At least I know you think I am attractive.”

Elizabeth’s face went red; she was embarrassed now that he knew she found him to be good looking. Keith saw Elizabeth blushing and found himself thoroughly enjoying her embarrassment. Keith gestured to the wait staff, they took his cue and closed the doors. Elizabeth saw them close the doors and looked visibly scared. To calm her fears Keith told her “Don’t worry the doors are not locked you are free to go if you want, I am just hoping that you want to stay.”

Elizabeth thought about this. She knew that she should go. Instead her legs took her over to the table and she sat down. Keith was giddily happy about her decision and did not hide it well which made Elizabeth giggle. He strode over sat down with Elizabeth, he took her hand in his, and he looked longingly in her eyes

“Thank you for staying.” Keith said.

“This doesn’t mean anything.” Elizabeth took her hand back.

She was acting like she was mad at Keith, when really she just did not like how Keith’s touch made her feel like she was going to melt.

“Then why are you here?” Keith asked pretending to believe her.

Elizabeth thought about it but, she could not think of a good excuse as to why she was there. So she told the truth “I don’t know.”

“Well I am glad that you are.” Keith smirked.

Shyly Elizabeth said “Thank you.”

“you not knowing why you are here means that deep down it is because you want to be here.” Keith thought aloud, he looked her up and down then told her “You look so beautiful.”

“Thank you” Elizabeth awkwardly answered “I was not trying to look beautiful though, I was actually trying not to.”

“Well you failed.” Keith asserted “I suppose you were trying to not tempt me?”

Elizabeth was shocked at how accurate he was, seeing that written all over her face he said “Thought so, don’t worry it makes me feel special.”

He called the waiter over and asked him to start serving them dinner, they were brought Italian food and they had a light casual conversation over dinner in between bites Elizabeth was having a great time, but that filled her with so much guilt. When they finished dinner Keith asked her to dance with him, she said yes. Keith was annoyed because they were dancing like pre-teens at a school dance with a great distance between them. He did not appreciate the distance; he wanted to be as close to Elizabeth as possible, so he pulled her in closer to him and held her tightly. Elizabeth could not help feeling safe in his arms. That was until she realized that she should not be there with him doing this. She backed up but Keith was holding her to tight for her to break free.

“I have to go! I can’t do this.” pleaded Elizabeth.

“No you don’t. Stay, you are already doing this.” exclaimed Keith.

“Are you kidding? I have a boyfriend that I care about and don’t want to hurt him, or lose him.” answered Elizabeth.

“Then why are you on a date with another man?” Keith asked her.

“I was tricked into this!” Elizabeth exclaimed.

“You were not tricked into staying.” Keith declared.

“I know...” Elizabeth trailed off.

“I think you want to be here with me, but have convinced yourself that you care more about Paul than you actually do.” Keith responded.

“No that’s not what it is.” Elizabeth answered.

“So what you are just leading me on?” asked Keith.

“No.” replied Elizabeth.

“So, you do want to be with me?” asked Keith, Elizabeth was flustered.

“If you did not want me you would not be avoiding me because you are too scared of what you might do with me. If you have these kinds of feelings for another man than maybe you are not with the person you want to be with” Keith declared.

This hit Elizabeth hard as she realized that there was something wrong with her having these unexplainable feelings for Keith while she was with Paul. “I can’t cheat on my boyfriend.” Elizabeth stated.

“I am not asking you too, I am asking you to get rid of him entirely and only be with me. I do not want to start sleeping with you until you stop sleeping with him” surmised Keith.

“Well I would have to start.” Elizabeth trailed off again as she did not want to give too much information away, but she had and Keith knew that she and Paul had not slept together yet.

She tried to restart what she was saying to him “I don’t know what I have toward you but I know I love Paul.” Elizabeth paused because she had just realized that she did in fact love Paul then she continued “And I don’t want to ruin that. I’m sorry.”

Elizabeth got out of Keith’s grasp, retrieved her purse from the, and walked out. As she walked out he yelled out after her “You’re still doing it.”

Elizabeth stopped turned around, then asked “Still doing what?”

“Pretending you feel more for him than you do.” Keith responded.

“And why would I do that?” Elizabeth wondered out loud.

“I don’t know for sure but, I assume it’s guilt.” Keith answered.

Elizabeth stared at Keith, like she was worried for a moment that he was right. She turned and left the room. Keith watched her walk away, upset that this night had not turned out how he had hoped it would.

Elizabeth went home, and called Paul she felt an obligation to at this point.

Paul picked up on the other line “Hello”

“Hey how are you?” asked Elizabeth.

“Hey, I am good. How are you?” returned Paul happy to hear Elizabeth’s voice.

“I am doing good too. What are you doing?” inquired Elizabeth.

“Nothing really just hanging out with my friends, we’re thinking about going to a bar.” answered Paul

“Oh yea that sounds good. I just got back from the party.” Elizabeth informed him.

“Oh yea how was it?” asked Paul.

“It was fun; it was nice to see everyone outside of the office.” Elizabeth responded.

She was going to tell the truth to Paul but got scared at the last second and decided against it. Plus she was unsure of how she would explain to him that she stayed to have a night alone with Keith when she could have left.

“Oh yea, that’s good, I’m glad you and your co-workers are getting along better.” replied Paul.

“Yea it is good, will I am going to let you go so you can play with your friends.” Elizabeth told him.

“OK, thanks see you later” Paul responded.

“Yea see you later, love you.” Elizabeth said.

Paul was surprised to hear her say this as they had not said it to each other yet. He did not know if he should say it back or not, it was especially hard since he did not know if he was in love with her. So he just pretended like he did not hear her and hung up the phone. Elizabeth felt very vulnerable and hurt, she did not mean to say it to him over the phone but she just blurted it out. But she had hoped that he would at least acknowledge her feelings, even if he did not say it back.

She sat there on her couch alone in her apartment feeling upset for too long. She was so humiliated she could not sleep so she just kept reliving it in her mind over and over again. He had just hung up on her. She thought if she called her friend she could talk about it, but it was late now and she did not want to wake anyone. She decided to send Davina a text to see if she was awake. When she did not receive a text or a call back she assumed that Davina was asleep. Elizabeth tried distracting her mind by watching TV, even through shows she only thought about that very humiliating phone call with Paul. By about three in the morning, she was finally too tired not to fall asleep.

Elizabeth went to work like everything was normal that morning, but was very groggy all day. She drank a lot of coffee but she had to stop drinking it when it started to make her feel weird and shaky. She ended up falling asleep at her desk in the middle of the morning, Grace walked by and saw her asleep; she made sure to tell Keith about it.

Keith went into Elizabeth’s office and saw her asleep at her desk. He thought she looked beautiful, if they weren’t at work he would have let her sleep while he watched, but he had to wake her. So he gently nudged her to wake her up. She slowly opened her eyes and saw him, he grinned at her and asked “Hey are you OK?”

“Yea I am fine.” Elizabeth answered.

“Why are you sleeping at your desk then?” Keith asked.

“Oh I am just tired.” Elizabeth explained “I’m sorry I’ll stay late to make up for it.”

“Why are you so tired?” asked Keith interested, especially since she had not been out late with him.

“It’s stupid.” answered Elizabeth.

“I doubt that, tell me I am interested.” responded Keith.

“I am positive you will not like it.” said Elizabeth.

“Try me.” Keith responded a little nervous to hear her answer now.

“OK don’t say I did not warn you. I told Keith I loved him for the first time last night on the phone.” I didn’t mean to say it, it just slipped out.” Elizabeth explained.

Keith interrupted her “Um I am pretty sure you didn’t I would have remembered if you told me that.”

Elizabeth had not even realized that she said the wrong name until Keith pointed it put to her she was shocked at herself. “Ugh, I meant Paul.”

“OK so what is the problem?” Keith asked half heartedly.

“Well he ignored me and then hung up on me, it was humiliating. I thought we were moving toward the same place and we obviously are not. I tried to talk to Davina but she was unavailable so I was just forced awake by my shame. That is why I am tired today.” explained Elizabeth.

“Well if you ask me he is an idiot.” Keith disclosed to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth smiled, that had actually made her feel a lot better. She just hoped Paul would feel that way too.

She looked up at him eyes welled up and sincerely said “Thank you, which makes me feel a lot better.”

He held her face in his hand, he wanted to kiss her but he knew she would not want him to kiss her so he just got up and told her “No problem.” then left her office.

Elizabeth felt a little better now and she got groggily back to work.

Keith headed out for lunch after talking to Elizabeth. He was happy that he had talked to Elizabeth because he was going to use what she confided to him to his benefit. Keith showed up at the restaurant Williams and he spotted Paul, he went over to him and sat down at the table across from him. Paul looked at him surprised that he was there and sitting with him.

“What the hell are you doing here?” asked Paul.

“You eat here every day, you should really change it up a little every now and then” answered Keith as he picked up a menu and glanced at the food items they offered. The waiter came over and he asked for a scotch neat, and nothing else. Paul glared at him. “You seem confused”

“Probably because I am. How do you know I eat here every day and why are you here?” Paul demanded.

“I am here to ask you to break up with Elizabeth.” responded Keith.

Just then the waiter came over with Keith’s scotch he took it and leaned back in his chair as he let his words wash over Paul. Paul was so shocked that he could not move. Finally he regained control over himself then laughed in disbelief.

“Are you kidding me?” Paul asked.

“No, I am not, and I do not like this at all but I have tried everything and she just will not break away from you. I guess she just feels some sort of duty to stay true to you.” answered Keith in an annoyed tone.

“And why would that make me want to break up with her?” Paul asked Keith.

“That wouldn’t, however the fact that I can expose your past to her might. Stealing cars, charged with aggravated assault, jail time should I go on.” replied Keith.

Paul was surprised that Keith knew all of this about him. He soon realized that he used his resources as a lawyer to look into him, and said “I am not that person anymore.”

“Really cause at last check you were working at a chop shop, I’d say you haven’t changed too much.” Keith said cockily.

“It is not that easy to get a legitimate job after jail, as a lawyer you should know that.” Keith chuckled at Paul “Besides that doesn’t mean I did not change.” Paul responded.

“Right you’ve come a long way.” Keith said with smug sarcasm. “However you are struggling and I can help you out if you help me out?” asked Keith.

Paul was confused and asked “What are you talking about?”

“I am willing to pay you one million dollars to break up with her.” Keith stated then waited for Paul to respond.

“You think giving me one million dollars will make me break up with Elizabeth?” Paul asked.

“Yea, I do.” answered Keith.

“Well you’re wrong, sorry. You’ll just have to find your own girlfriend.” responded Paul arrogantly.

Keith snickered; he was amused at how smug Paul felt. Paul annoyed at his condescension asked him rudely “What?”

“Just funny that you are acting so superior.” answered Keith.

“I have something that you want and cannot get from me, which makes me superior.” retorted Paul.

“Well you’re right that you have something that I want but you’re wrong about me not getting it, I will get her.” Keith returned.

“I am not taking your money to dump my girlfriend of almost a year.” answered Paul.

“This is clearly a property issue with you.” Paul snorted; Keith continued “I happen to know for a fact that you do not love her. She told me all about how she told you she loved you and you just hung up on her.”

“Why did she tell you that?” asked Paul, worried about the very close relationship Keith and Elizabeth had developed.

“She confides in me, she trusts me. When I saw her distressed this morning I thought it had something to do with our date last night, so I asked and she told me what happened.” Keith explained.

“What date?” asked Paul.

“Relax I tricked her into it she was faithful to you, to my disappointment. However looking at your face it is almost as if you do not even care” responded Keith.

Paul looked down in shame and wondered what he was holding on to. He did not know if he loved Elizabeth like she loved him. He thought about it for a couple of minutes, they sat in silence as he did so.

Paul broke the silence when he countered “Two million.”

“One point five.” Keith countered back.

“Deal” responded Paul.

“Great.” answered Keith.

He got out his check book and wrote the check out for Paul, he handed it over to him and said “This should be the last time I see you.”

“God willing.” responded Paul, as he took the check. Keith put down money for his drink and walked out of the restaurant.