Chapter 2

　　Raine

　　The ballroom was too big, too bright, and far too loud.

　　I stood perfectly still beside Miguel with my hand resting lightly on the sleeve of his black suit jacket.

　　To everyone watching, I looked like the lucky one.

　　I was the girl who had married the powerful Alpha and lived in the mansion on the hill. Inside, I felt like a mannequin he had brought along just to complete the picture of a settled, successful man.

　　Miguel shook hands with a tall man in a grey suit and spoke about land stakes and pack boundaries in that deep, calm voice that always drew people closer.

　　He was handsome in a dangerous way. His jaw stayed tight and his dark eyes never settled on anything for long. In the two hours we had been here, he had not looked at me once.

　　He never checked if my feet hurt in the four-inch heels he had chosen. He never asked if I was hungry.

　　I was simply there, a silent shadow attached to his arm.I tuned out his words about the northern territory expansion.

　　I had heard the same speech at a dozen different parties. Instead I stared at the glass of sparkling water in my hand and watched the bubbles rise and pop one by one.

　　I felt exactly like those bubbles. My wolf stayed quiet inside me now.

　　Three years ago she used to pace and scratch at my heart, desperate for Miguel to notice us and treat us as more than a legal arrangement.

　　She had howled into the void for so long that she finally went silent. Now she lay there like a heavy weight of sadness.

　　Across the room a young couple caught my eye. They were not Alphas and not even well-dressed, but the man kept his hand on the small of the girl's back.

　　Every few seconds he leaned down to whisper something that made her giggle. He looked at her like she was the only person in the room.

　　A sharp pang of jealousy hit my chest so hard, I remembered what that felt like, before I traded that kind of love for this empty life.

　　I tried not to think about Kordell, but in a room full of people who did not care about me his memory was the only warmth I had left.

　　I could still see the way he looked at me in the church that day, his eyes full of love even while I broke his heart.

　　"Are you listening, Raine?" Miguel asked suddenly. His voice pulled me back even though he still was not looking at me.

　　"Yes," I lied. My voice came out thin and small. "I'm listening."

　　"Good. We're leaving in ten minutes. Try to look like you're enjoying yourself until then." He turned back to his conversation without waiting for a reply.

　　When the ten minutes finally ended we said our goodbyes. Miguel spoke while I nodded and smiled like a robot.

　　We walked out into the cool night air and I could finally take a full breath. The drive back to the hotel was silent as always.

　　Miguel sat in the back of the SUV with me but he stared out the window at his glowing phone while he answered emails.

　　The beta driver kept his eyes fixed on the road. I leaned my head against the cool glass and watched the streetlights blur into long yellow lines.

　　Three years. One thousand and ninety-five days spent in this silence. Sometimes I wondered if Miguel hated me.

　　I knew he had loved Raina. Everyone loved Raina. She was the bright twin who laughed loud and took up space.

　　I was just the spare. The one who gave her a kidney, the one who gave her my future.

　　My mother had always told me it was my job to make sure Raina was happy. When Raina's dying wish was for me to take her place beside Miguel so he would not be alone, I did it.

　　I always did what I was told. Raina never died, yet here I was still living her life.

　　Even though she's the one in a coma, I'm the one who's dead.

　　When we reached the suite the door clicked shut behind us and the quiet grew even heavier.

　　The room was beautiful with a bed big enough for five people, but it felt like an expensive cage.

　　Miguel tossed his jacket onto a chair and said he was going to have a drink, then he walked to the mini-bar without looking back.

　　I went into the bedroom and stood in front of the full-length mirror. The emerald green dress hugged my curves and made my skin look soft and pale.

　　I stood there for a long time going over everything, when I reached behind my back to find the zipper, it didn't bulge.

　　My breath came faster as frustration and panic rose in my chest.

　　I felt trapped. If I did not get this dress off right now I was going to scream.

　　The air in the room changed, I knew Miguel was behind me immediately.

　　Our eyes met in the mirror and for the first time in three years he was really looking at me.

　　"The zipper," I whispered, afraid that the moment might disappear if I spoke too loudly.

　　He walked toward me without a word, when he stopped right behind me I could feel the heat coming off his body.

　　"Let me," he muttered in a low growl, his breath mixed with alcohol.

　　His fingers replaced mine at the back of the dress. When his knuckles slowly brushed my spine, shivers raced down my back.

　　I hated how much my body still responded to him after all this time of being ignored.

　　He pulled the zipper down and the silk slid off my shoulders, but his hands stayed on my waist, his thumbs rubbed small circles into the fabric.

　　When I looked at him in the mirror his eyes were dark with hunger instead of their usual coldness.

　　I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against his shoulder. I was so tired of being alone.

　　He moved my hair to one side, his fingers grazed the back of my neck and a sob caught in my throat when his lips finally touched my skin.

　　He pressed a slow kiss right over the mark that was never meant for him.

　　Regret flooded me, I had saved myself for Kordell all these years. I had told myself that my virginity was the last piece of me Miguel could never own.

　　Yet here I was reaching back anyway, clutching his forearms and pulling him closer while my mind screamed to stop.

　　Miguel turned me around in his arms, his face was flushed from the bourbon and his eyes burned with a hunger I had never seen before.

　　He leaned down and crushed his mouth against mine. The kiss tasted like whiskey and desperation. It was messy and hard. His tongue pushed into my mouth, demanding a response, and for a second I forgot how to breathe.

　　My heart thundered so loudly I thought it might break my ribs. I knew I should push him away.

　　He only wanted me because he was drunk and I wore the same face as the woman he truly loved.

　　But I was so tired of being strong, I was so tired of sleeping alone on my side of that massive empty bed.

　　He lifted me up, his large hands gripped my thighs so I wrapped my legs around his waist.

　　The green dress bunched up around my hips while he carried me to the bed and laid me down on the silk sheets.

　　"Rain," he rasped. My heart twisted painfully. He used my name, not Raina's.

　　Hope flared in my chest, but a darker thought followed right behind it. Did he even know the difference anymore?

　　His weight pressed me into the mattress and it felt good to be pinned down. It felt good to finally be noticed.

　　He kissed my neck while his hands worked the dress down my arms until it pooled around my waist.

　　He used his teeth to pull the straps of my bra down, his eyes never leaving mine.

　　I felt exposed and raw. I had hidden my body from him for three years and now he was seeing everything.

　　His mouth found my breast and I let out a loud broken whimper. The heat of his tongue shocked my system like a spark, I arched my back and tangled my fingers in his dark hair, pulling him harder against me.

　　When he moved between my thighs I felt a flash of real fear. This was the line I could never uncross.

　　"Miguel, wait," I breathed with my hands against his chest.

　　He stopped instantly, leaned down and rested his forehead against mine while he breathed hard and his scent filled my lungs.

　　"Do you want me to stop?"I looked into his eyes.

　　They were bloodshot and dark, but there was a softness there I had not seen since the day we met.

　　If I said yes he would walk away and go back to being a stranger, this was my one chance to make the marriage feel real.

　　"No," I whispered. "Don't stop." He kissed my forehead, then my nose, then my lips with such gentleness that my chest ached.

　　He waited until I relaxed and my legs fell open for him, then he pushed inside.

　　"Shh, I've got you," he whispered, his eyes locked on mine while he waited for me to adjust. He wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb.

　　"Just breathe, baby. Just breathe for me." I took a shaky breath.

　　I knew I might regret everything tomorrow, but I let go completely, tonight.

　　I forgot about my sister and the debt I owed. I closed my eyes and held onto him like a life raft in a storm.