Chapter 224 FIFTY-FOUR – RESEARCH
Weeks pass. My belly grows. My jeans stop buttoning around week six, and I switch to his sweatpants, which is its own kind of intimacy – wearing his clothes while not touching his body, the cedar-smelling fabric holding me loosely and warmly the way his arms used to.
A letter arrives on a Wednesday...
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Chapters
1. Chapter 1 CHAPTER 1 - REJECTED BY MY BEST FRIEND
2. Chapter 2 CHAPTER 2 - ONE NIGHT STAND WITH A HOT STRANGER
3. Chapter 3 CHAPTER 3 - NEW BOY, OLD FLING
4. Chapter 4 CHAPTER 4 - STUCK BETWEEN TWO BOYS
5. Chapter 5 CHAPTER 5 - THE HICKEY FROM MY LOVING STRANGER
6. Chapter 6 CHAPTER 6 - DINNER WITH MY NEW ST3PBROTHER
7. Chapter 7 CHAPTER 7 - TO KISS OR TO KILL
8. Chapter 8 CHAPTER 8 - THE FAKE DATING DEAL
9. Chapter 9 CHAPTER 9 - CAMPUS' NEW GOSSIP
10. Chapter 10 CHAPTER 10 - SLEEPING WITH MY STEPBROTHER
11. Chapter 11 CHAPTER 11 - AVOIDING THE TRUTH
12. Chapter 12 CHAPTER 12 - MY NEW NORMAL
13. Chapter 13 CHAPTER 13 - LIBRARY AFFECTION
14. Chapter 14 CHAPTER 14 - MY NEW STALKER
15. Chapter 15 CHAPTER 15 - OUR FIRST CRACK
16. Chapter 16 CHAPTER 16 - MEMORIZING IN PIECES
17. Chapter 17 CHAPTER 17 - TOO LATE FOR TAKEBACKS
18. Chapter 18 CHAPTER 18 - BUILDING WALLS
19. Chapter 19 CHAPTER 19 - WEARING HIS NAME
20. Chapter 20 CHAPTER 20 - THIS ISN'T OVER
21. Chapter 21 CHAPTER 21 - WHAT ARE WE?
22. Chapter 22 CHAPTER 22 - HOLDING ON
23. Chapter 23 CHAPTER 23 - NOT A COINCIDENCE
24. Chapter 24 CHAPTER 24 - HIS NEW PLACEHOLDER
25. Chapter 25 CHAPTER 25 - OUR FAVORITE LANGUAGE
26. Chapter 26 CHAPTER 26 - KEEPING HER CLOSE
27. Chapter 27 CHAPTER 27 - HIS SURRENDER
28. Chapter 28 CHAPTER 28 - I'M STAYING
29. Chapter 29 CHAPTER 29 - THE MAJOR SCARE
30. Chapter 30 CHAPTER 30 - DEAL OR NO DEAL
31. Chapter 31 CHAPTER 31 - HOW WE WORK
32. Chapter 32 CHAPTER 32 - PAYING ATTENTION
33. Chapter 33 CHAPTER 33 - NOT WORTH IT
34. Chapter 34 CHAPTER 34 - NO WORDS
35. Chapter 35 CHAPTER 35 - SOMETHING WORTH PROTECTING
36. Chapter 36 CHAPTER 36 - A PERFORMANCE
37. Chapter 37 CHAPTER 37 - NO MORE WALLS
38. Chapter 38 CHAPTER 38 - EXPOSED
39. Chapter 39 CHAPTER 39 - SLOWLY CHANGING
40. Chapter 40 CHAPTER 40 - THE TALK
41. Chapter 41 CHAPTER 41 - FAMILY MATTERS
42. Chapter 42 CHAPTER 42 - HALF THE STORY
43. Chapter 43 CHAPTER 43 - WHAT IT COSTS
44. Chapter 44 CHAPTER 44 - THE TIGHTENING LEASH
45. Chapter 45 CHAPTER 45 - ANIMAL
46. Chapter 46 CHAPTER 46 - DON'T LEAVE
47. Chapter 47 CHAPTER 47 - RUMORS
48. Chapter 48 CHAPTER 48 - NOTICING THE PATTERNS
49. Chapter 49 CHAPTER 49 - TWO WEEKS
50. Chapter 50 CHAPTER 50 - THE CALLS
51. Chapter 51 CHAPTER 51 - TWICE A DAY
52. Chapter 52 CHAPTER 52 - 2AM
53. Chapter 53 CHAPTER 53 - MOM
54. Chapter 54 CHAPTER 54 - I CAME BACK
55. Chapter 55 CHAPTER 55 - FAMILY DINNER
56. Chapter 56 CHAPTER 56 - MILES
57. Chapter 57 CHAPTER 57 - I MISSED YOU
58. Chapter 58 CHAPTER 58 - THE FEATURE
59. Chapter 59 CHAPTER 59 - SILENCE
60. Chapter 60 CHAPTER 60 - THE CALM
61. Chapter 61 CHAPTER 61 - EGGSHELLS
62. Chapter 62 CHAPTER 62 - NOMES
63. Chapter 63 CHAPTER 63 - MINE
64. Chapter 64 CHAPTER 64 - CALEB OR CALEB?
65. Chapter 65 CHAPTER 65 - PERSONAS
66. Chapter 66 CHAPTER 66 - THE MASK
67. Chapter 67 CHAPTER 67 - LIES TO PROTECT
68. Chapter 68 CHAPTER 68 - HEAVY WEAPONS
69. Chapter 69 CHAPTER 69 - MIDNIGHT THOUGHTS
70. Chapter 70 CHAPTER 70 - LIKE HIM
71. Chapter 71 CHAPTER 71 - MORE PROTECTION
72. Chapter 72 CHAPTER 72 - STRESS RELIEF
73. Chapter 73 CHAPTER 73 - STOP
74. Chapter 74 CHAPTER 74 - MY IDENTITY
75. Chapter 75 CHAPTER 75 - THE TEST
76. Chapter 76 CHAPTER 76 - POWER SHIFT
77. Chapter 77 CHAPTER 77 - DAD
78. Chapter 78 CHAPTER 78 - NARRATIVES
79. Chapter 79 CHAPTER 79 - PROMISES
80. Chapter 80 CHAPTER 80 - THE NOTEBOOK
81. Chapter 81 CHAPTER 81 - THE LONG GAME
82. Chapter 82 CHAPTER 82 - SCRIMMAGE
83. Chapter 83 CHAPTER 83 - BRUISES
84. Chapter 84 CHAPTER 84 - PURPOSEFUL CONSISTENCY
85. Chapter 85 CHAPTER 85 - BREAKING DOWN
86. Chapter 86 CHAPTER 86 - INSTINCT
87. Chapter 87 CHAPTER 87 - IN THE HALLWAY
88. Chapter 88 CHAPTER 88 - LEARNING
89. Chapter 89 CHAPTER 89 - A LETTER
90. Chapter 90 CHAPTER 90 - ELENA'S EFFECT
91. Chapter 91 CHAPTER 91 - SURVIVAL
92. Chapter 92 CHAPTER 92 - AMMO
93. Chapter 93 CHAPTER 93 - THE ESSAY
94. Chapter 94 CHAPTER 94 - THE GAP
95. Chapter 95 CHAPTER 95 - CONTROL
96. Chapter 96 CHAPTER 96 - THE FIRST ROUND
97. Chapter 97 CHAPTER 97 - THE FLOOR
98. Chapter 98 CHAPTER 98 - AN ORDINARY LIFE
99. Chapter 99 CHAPTER 99 - SUSPICION
100. Chapter 100 CHAPTER 100 - FALSE PEACE
101. Chapter 101 CHAPTER 101 - WRONG ANGLES
102. Chapter 102 CHAPTER 102 - THE BUZZ
103. Chapter 103 CHAPTER 103 - WRONG
104. Chapter 104 CHAPTER 104 - ELENA
105. Chapter 105 CHAPTER 105 - FROZEN IN TIME
106. Chapter 106 CHAPTER 106 - THE BLOG
107. Chapter 107 CHAPTER 107 - SINCE THE BAR
108. Chapter 108 CHAPTER 108 - WRITE EVERYTHING
109. Chapter 109 CHAPTER 109 - SEMI FINALS
110. Chapter 110 CHAPTER 110 - REMEMBERING
111. Chapter 111 CHAPTER 111 - THE SAME ZIP CODE
112. Chapter 112 CHAPTER 112 - GAME DAY
113. Chapter 113 ANNOUNCEMENT <3
114. Chapter 114 CHAPTER 114 - THE SABOTAGE
115. Chapter 115 CHAPTER 114 - QUESTIONS
116. Chapter 116 CHAPTER 115 - THE LOOKOUT
117. Chapter 117 CHAPTER 116 - NUCLEAR
118. Chapter 118 CHAPTER 117 - NO SLEEP
119. Chapter 119 CHAPTER 118 - NOT FOR LONG
120. Chapter 120 CHAPTER 119 - PURE RAGE
121. Chapter 121 CHAPTER 12O - EXHAUSTION
122. Chapter 122 CHAPTER 121 - INNOCENT
123. Chapter 123 CHAPTER 122 - NO AGENDA
124. Chapter 124 CHAPTER 123 - FIVE SECONDS
125. Chapter 125 CHAPTER 124 - NOT JUST PHOTOS
126. Chapter 126 CHAPTER 125 - COLLATERAL DAMAGE
127. Chapter 127 CHAPTER 126 - GRAVITY
128. Chapter 128 CHAPTER 127 - THE THREE-SECOND RULE
129. Chapter 129 CHAPTER 128 - SECRETS
130. Chapter 130 CHAPTER 129 - FREEFALL
131. Chapter 131 CHAPTER 130 - ALL CRASHING DOWN
132. Chapter 132 CHAPTER 131 - EMERGENCY
133. Chapter 133 CHAPTER 132 - TIMING
134. Chapter 134 CHAPTER 133 - THE CONFESSION
135. Chapter 135 CHAPTER 134 - THE SAME STORY
136. Chapter 136 CHAPTER 135 - HEALING
137. Chapter 137 CHAPTER 136 - THE LETTERS
138. Chapter 138 CHAPTER 137 - PERMISSION
139. Chapter 139 CHAPTER 138 - THE LOOK
140. Chapter 140 CHAPTER 139 - REAL
141. Chapter 141 CHAPTER 140 - ORDINARY TUESDAYS
142. Chapter 142 CHAPTER 141 - STEPDAD'S SON
143. Chapter 143 CHAPTER 142 - VOWS
144. Chapter 144 CHAPTER 143 - NORMAL
145. Chapter 145 CHAPTER 144 - OUR SPOT
146. Chapter 146 CHAPTER 145 - THE SHOWER
147. Chapter 147 CHAPTER 146 - OUR KITCHEN
148. Chapter 148 CHAPTER 147 - NOT HIDING
149. Chapter 149 CHAPTER 148 - THERAPY
150. Chapter 150 CHAPTER 149 - PORTLAND
151. Chapter 151 CHAPTER 150 - NOT GOODBYE
152. Chapter 152 CHAPTER 151 - THE COUNTDOWN
153. Chapter 153 CHAPTER 152 - COME BACK
154. Chapter 154 CHAPTER 153 - GO BE GREAT
155. Chapter 155 CHAPTER 154 - THINNING
156. Chapter 156 CHAPTER 155 - NOT A BRIDGE
157. Chapter 157 CHAPTER 156 - ACCEPTED
158. Chapter 158 CHAPTER 157 - HOME
159. Chapter 159 CHAPTER 158 - PORTLAND
160. Chapter 160 CHAPTER 159 - PUBLISHABLE
161. Chapter 161 CHAPTER 160 - UNDER THE SAME SKY
162. Chapter 162 CHAPTER 161 - FROM DAYS TO MONTHS
163. Chapter 163 CHAPTER 162 - THE WAY WE ARE
164. Chapter 164 CHAPTER 163 - A GOOD ONE
165. Chapter 165 CHAPTER 164 - THE READING
166. Chapter 166 CHAPTER 165 - YES
167. Chapter 167 CHAPTER 166 - FOR THE DRINK
168. Chapter 168 CHAPTER 167 - ON THE HOUSE
169. Chapter 169 CHAPTER 168 - SOMETHING OURS
170. Chapter 170 EPILOGUE <3
171. Chapter 171 ONE – THE BILLBOARD
172. Chapter 172 TWO - CONVERSATIONS
173. Chapter 173 THREE - THE INTERVIEW
174. Chapter 174 FOUR - NOTHING
175. Chapter 175 FIVE - THE DEAL
176. Chapter 176 SIX - HIS WIFE
177. Chapter 177 SEVEN - SASHA
178. Chapter 178 EIGHT - SHADOWS
179. Chapter 179 NINE - WIVES
180. Chapter 180 TEN - NOT ENOUGH
181. Chapter 181 ELEVEN - WHERE I AM
182. Chapter 182 TWELVE - TIME
183. Chapter 183 THIRTEEN - ALONE
184. Chapter 184 FOURTEEN - MY NAME
185. Chapter 185 FIFTEEN - THERAPY
186. Chapter 186 SIXTEEN - SPLITTING
187. Chapter 187 SEVENTEEN - PROTECTION
188. Chapter 188 EIGHTEEN - FAKE BLOG
189. Chapter 189 NINETEEN - NOT A LIABILITY
190. Chapter 190 TWENTY - HERS
191. Chapter 191 TWENTY-ONE - HOW IT FELT LIKE
192. Chapter 192 TWENTY-TWO - FAMILY
193. Chapter 193 TWENTY-THREE - FREEDOM
194. Chapter 194 TWENTY-FOUR - MELTED
195. Chapter 195 TWENTY-FIVE - MULTITASK
196. Chapter 196 TWENTY-SIX - OPPOSITE
197. Chapter 197 TWENTY-SEVEN - OLD WOUNDS
198. Chapter 198 TWENTY-EIGHT - SICK
199. Chapter 199 TWENTY-NINE - SURVIVE
200. Chapter 200 THIRTY - MOVE IT
201. Chapter 201 THIRTY-ONE - WET SURFACES
202. Chapter 202 THIRTY-TWO - THE TERMINAL
203. Chapter 203 THIRTY-THREE -QUIET APARTMENT
204. Chapter 204 THIRTY-FOUR - HIGH PRICE
205. Chapter 205 THIRTY-FIVE - THE CONDITION
206. Chapter 206 THIRTY-SIX - TOO QUIET
207. Chapter 207 THIRTY-SEVEN - TIME ZONES
208. Chapter 208 THIRTY-EIGHT - SHOCKWAVE
209. Chapter 209 THIRTY-NINE - THE ONLY REASON
210. Chapter 210 FORTY - HORROR
211. Chapter 211 FORTY-ONE - FOR STAYING
212. Chapter 212 FORTY-TWO - TRYING
213. Chapter 213 FORTY-THREE - THE PACIFIC
214. Chapter 214 FORTY-FOUR - ZERO FINGERPRINTS
215. Chapter 215 FORTY-FIVE - MY HOME
216. Chapter 216 FORTY-SIX - WATCHING
217. Chapter 217 FORTY-SEVEN - STUPID DECISIONS
218. Chapter 218 FORTY-EIGHT - WHY?
219. Chapter 219 FORTY-NINE - MY FAULT
220. Chapter 220 FIFTY - IF
221. Chapter 221 FIFTY-ONE-WHATEVER COMES AFTER
222. Chapter 222 FIFTY-TWO – SIGN IT
223. Chapter 223 FIFTY-THREE – THE DISHES
224. Chapter 224 FIFTY-FOUR – RESEARCH
225. Chapter 225 FIFTY-FIVE – THAT’S YOU
226. Chapter 226 FIFTY-SIX – SETTLED
227. Chapter 227 EPILOGUE
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