Chapter 5 FIVE

SERAYA

Mistress Yhlda pulled me to the garden. She let me go, and I immediately held onto my hair.

She pointed her index finger at me, a sneer on her face.

“Do not return to the hall until it is time for cleaning. You silly Omega. Do you want to have me punished because you can’t control your stupid self in public?”

“I’m sorry—”

“Do be sorry for yourself!” she snapped.

Mistress Yhlda straightened, her gaze darting around the garden. We weren’t the only ones here. I could hear voices, though none were close to us.

She sniffed the air around us. “Did you take the herbs? I warned you always to do so.”

“I did,” I whispered. I had taken even more than necessary, enduring the bitter taste and the pain. Although taking more wouldn’t make it more effective, it should still have worked.

But I had hoped enough would settle in my system before the nausea came. I couldn’t keep it down. It wasn’t my fault.

“I can smell you everywhere. I am sure everyone can smell your heat.”

She drew in a deep breath, her eyes narrowing at me. “Just stay here. I shall return after deciding what to do with you. By the goddess Seraya, if you take a step from this spot and trigger another heat bond, I shall not be sorry for what happens to you.”

Mistress Yhlda stormed off.

The threat in her voice was enough to root me in place. I had no desire to return to the ceremony anyway.

It was shameful.

Everyone must have known what was happening. And how could I have allowed the flagon to slip from my hand at the exact moment he spoke his oath?

“You’re so stupid, Seraya,” I pushed a hand into my hair, wincing at the soreness there.

What was I even thinking? Would Alpha Rhazien not take his oath seriously because of me? That he would turn away from those perfect girls lined before him, girls who had trained their entire lives for that moment, just because of a foolish, delusional Omega like me?

An Omega with nothing to her name.

I walked to the bench and sat down. Leaning forward, I covered my face with my hands, shaking my head.

I used to think turning seventeen was the hardest thing to endure in this pack house. The bullying. The quiet segregation from those of your own rank. The constant feeling of not belonging. The way you were made to suffer more than others simply because you were no one.

I had held onto the hope of turning eighteen.

For the first time in my life, I had prayed to the goddess to grant me a mate. Someone who would overlook my lowborn status and treat me as a person, not an animal, not a tool meant only for breeding.

I never prayed for perfection. I knew better than to hope for that. I only wanted freedom.

My shoulders trembled as a sob tore free from my throat. I didn’t try to stop the tears this time. I couldn’t.

Was I truly meant to live like this? I lifted my blurred, heavy gaze toward the bright full moon.

Was I born to be disposable trash? To be mateless and nothing more than a convenient release for an Alpha who had taken my innocence, marked me with his scent, and left me unworthy of anyone else? Was I born to rot in the rank I had been forced into?

I winced, gripping my stomach as it cramped painfully. “Just kill me if you truly see me as worthless, goddess Selene!”

My voice broke as I shouted into the night air. I didn’t care who heard me. I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

If the goddess had any mercy at all, she would end this suffering.

My only crime had been trying to exist.

“You’re here.”

“Alpha Rhazien!” My voice came out strained. I jumped to my feet, stumbling back into the shrubs behind me.

My eyes widened as I stared at him.

He shouldn’t be here. He should have been in the hall, beside his chosen mate, Celestara.

“I searched for you throughout the ceremony. Your Mistress refused to say where you were. I found you by your scent.”

“Oh gods,” I whispered, my breath catching as he stepped closer. “Y-you shouldn’t be here, Alpha.”

I dropped my gaze to the ground.

“Look at me, Seraya,” Alpha Rhazien ordered.

I hesitated, then slowly lifted my eyes.

He had warned me before, had commanded that I meet his gaze, but every instinct within me resisted.

His presence was overwhelming. His gaze burned too intensely, stirring things within me that I didn’t want to feel.

Alpha Rhazien did not need to touch me. His eyes alone were enough.

“You did this to me, Seraya, and you are going to fix it,” he grunted, closing the distance between us.

I opened my mouth to protest, but he covered it with his hand.

“Who do you think will be ruined if they hear your voice? Who would be punished and sent into exile? Who would be left mateless because of a heat she cannot control?” he whispered, his lips brushing the sensitive spot on my neck.

He was right.

He was the Alpha. At most, he would be reprimanded. I would be the one destroyed.

Alpha Rhazien cupped my face, his lips hovering just above mine.

“What are we?” I whispered. “You have a Luna now, someone meant to stand beside you. What am I to you? Just something to use?”

He didn’t answer.

Instead, he turned me around so my back faced him. His touch was firm, unyielding, as his hand moved beneath the fabric of my dress, pulling a sharp breath from my lips.

“You’re already responding to me,” he murmured. “No questions, Seraya. I won’t give you answers.”

It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but it was all I would get.

I shut my eyes tightly, biting down on my lower lip to keep myself from screaming as he thrust into me. Hard and relentless.

Alpha Rhazien took what he wanted, just as he had the first night. Over and over again.

And through the haze of it all, through the soft groans and growls he made against my skin, I felt it again.

That feeling. Like I was being watched.

As if thousands unseen eyes lingered in the darkness, witnessing everything. Waiting for the moment to judge me and for my end.