Chapter 284

Judy’s POV

When I got home, my heart was racing. For the first time in 2 weeks, I turned my phone on. I sat on my bed as I watched the screen light up, showing the provider logo as my phone rebooted. Up until this point, I had my phone shoved on the nightstand beside the bed. Now, holding it in my hands, it felt foreign, like I wasn’t sure how to work it anymore.

My phone finally turned on, and I used my finger to unlock it, bringing up my home screen. My heart thudded wildly against my chest as all the apps appeared on the screen. Suddenly, the screen was going insane with all the missed notifications from the past couple of weeks. I only got a glimpse of the names that flashed across the screen; there were several messages, both voice mail and text messages, from each of my friends. I think Irene called me more times than anyone, though, and that thought made my stomach twist. I wondered what she could be calling me about.

There were also a few missed calls from Gavin, and my heart shattered all over again seeing his name on my phone. I hated that he had this effect on me even after I’d been away for 2 weeks.

I didn’t open any of the messages or listen to the voicemails. I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough for that yet. My stomach was twisting with nerves, and I hated this feeling. I wanted to just get over him and move on with my life because clearly, he has moved on with his. He was probably just calling me to tell me that he was getting married to Rachel. Or maybe he wanted to yell at me for abandoning Matt. That was something I truly felt bad about; I told Irene and Nan to tell Matt that I’m sorry and that I’ll see him when I can, not that I knew when that would be. Now that I had graduated from college, I was no longer contracted to be his tutor.

Plus, he only had a few more months before summer. He was doing a lot better since I started tutoring him and training with him; he’s even stronger now that he has a wolf. He’ll be fine these next couple of months; also, he has Alex to help him… not to mention Rachel. He doesn’t need me anymore; I just felt bad that I didn’t say goodbye to him.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and clicked on my contacts. I scrolled through until my mom’s name appeared. A small yet sad smile tipped the corner of my lips. There were a few text messages from her as well, and I felt bad for not being able to call her in the last couple of weeks. I did call her when I landed and told her that I was turning off my phone and that I’m sorry. She understood; she didn’t say it, but I think she knew what this was all about.

Moms always have a way of knowing these things, and I love her for that.

I clicked on her name and brought the phone to my ear; I glanced at the clock, knowing there’s a time difference. It was nearing late evening here, which meant it was early morning in Redmoon. My mom was always an early riser, so I knew she’d be in the kitchen right about now, brewing a pot of coffee and getting my father’s newspaper ready so he could start his day right before he headed to his company.

“Judy?” I heard my mother’s soft and concerned voice on the other end of the line.

“Hey, Mom,” I said, my tone matching hers.

“Oh, my goddess!” My mother cooed. “It really is you! Oh, sweetheart, I’ve been so worried. Is everything okay? How’s Redcliff? Are they treating you okay? Do you like your job?”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Woah, Mom. Slow down,” I chuckled. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to call until now. Things had been pretty crazy here. But yeah, they are treating me well. It’s nice here… I think you and Dad would like it. When things settle, maybe you guys can visit?”

I held my breath, waiting for her response. I hated to admit it, but I could use my parents. I needed their comfort and love more than anything right now.

“We would love that, sweetie,” my mom said softly. “Are you adjusting well?”

“Yeah,” I tell her, my voice falling flat for a moment as I get lost in thought. I stared down at my still flat belly, a heaviness in my chest. I couldn’t tell her that I was pregnant, at least not like this. She would ask me questions that I wasn’t ready to answer yet; saying the words out loud made them feel real, and it would force me to have to deal with it. I couldn’t deal with it… not yet, at least. I’d rather stay in my little bubble of denial for as long as possible.

“Judy?” My mother asked softly. “Are you okay?”

I realized I had been quiet for too long, and I cleared my throat.

“Yeah, Mom. I’m okay. I just miss you…” It was the truth; tears threatened my eyes. All I wanted was to hug my mom; I missed her like crazy. I missed the familiarity of home. But I couldn’t go home… not yet… maybe not ever. “How’s…” My voice trailed off as Gavin’s name was the first on my tongue. I wanted to ask her if she had heard anything about him or about his upcoming wedding, but I couldn’t force the words out of my lips. “How’s everyone? Nan… Dad…”

“They miss you,” my mom said, sighing. “Nan is okay. I told her that you were spending time getting used to your new pack and job, so you have your phone off. She’s been worried about you and wants to talk to you. You should give her a call.”

I thought about it, but I didn’t because I knew she’d only talk about Gavn. Being mated to Chester and practically living in Gavin’s mansion with Irene, she has a front row seat to everything. I knew if I wanted information, Nan would provide it.

“Yeah,” I said softly. “Maybe I will.”

“They are talking to Alpha Landry about adopting Emalyn,” my mother told me. “She’s been wanting to tell you that Chester proposed to her a few days ago, and she said yes.”

I gasped.

“What?! Nan and Chester are getting married??” I asked, my eyes wide. Now that was shocking news. So much had changed in only a couple of days.

My mother chuckled.

“Yes,” she replied. “She’s happy, but also sad because she doesn’t have her best friend here by her side.”

Guilt nagged at my insides, and I nibbled on my lower lip, trying hard to keep my voice under control and not crack with emotions.

“I’ll reach out,” I tell her, though I’m not sure when I’ll reach out. I’m not sure what I was so afraid of, but something inside of me stopped me from making that phone call.

There was a lull in the conversation; I wasn’t sure what more to say, even though I wasn’t ready for this conversation to end. My heart ached, and I needed my mom more than anything right now. So, why couldn’t I talk to her?

‘Judy?” My mom said, her tone soft with compassion and lingering worry.

“Yeah?” I asked her, my tone rough as I fought the urge to cry.

“Are you happy?”

Her question startled me; I wasn’t expecting it. There was a lump in my throat that no matter how hard I swallowed, wouldn’t go away.

“Yeah…” I said softly, even though the word felt like a lie on my lips. Tears filled my eyes before I could stop them. In that moment, I was glad that my mother couldn’t see me. It would only worry her, and that wasn’t something I needed or wanted. “I’m happy…” I finished the sentence after a small pause, glad that my voice didn’t break as I spoke.

There was silence on the other end, and I wondered for a moment if my mother believed me.

“I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy, Judy,” she replied softly. “That’s all that’s important. As long as you’re happy… I’m happy.”

Tears fell down my cheeks, and I had to close my eyes, soaking in her words. I let out a shuddering breath, praying she didn’t hear it.

“I know,” I whispered, afraid that if I spoke any louder, she’d hear the break in my voice. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too, Judy. We all love you,” she said softly. “Your father and I… and your friends. Call them.”

“I will,” I promised.

“I’ll let you go now… I’m sure you’re busy. But call again soon, okay?”

“Okay,” I told her.

After we said our final goodbyes, the line went dead. I stayed frozen on my bed with my phone pressed to my cheek, tears still falling out of my eyes, and my lip trembling.

I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy, Judy…”

Those words echoed in my mind, breaking my heart all over again because the truth of the matter was… I wasn’t happy. And I wasn’t sure if I ever would be again.