Chapter 100 I will not apologize
CHAPTER 100
I will not apologise.
REID
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“I had two longings, and one was fighting the other. I wanted to be loved, and I wanted to be always alone – Jean Rhys.”
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I don’t know how long I lay on the bed. My whole body is thrumming, and my heart hasn’t stopped pounding.
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Chapters
1. Chapter 1 REID
2. Chapter 2 II -- REID
3. Chapter 3 III -- REID
4. Chapter 4 Blood in the water.
5. Chapter 5 Trembling.
6. Chapter 6 Dangerous affair
7. Chapter 7 Crossing lines.
8. Chapter 8 Girlfriend.
9. Chapter 9 Never have I made out with my stepbrother.
10. Chapter 10 Two dying stars.
11. Chapter 11 Haunted by his kiss.
12. Chapter 12 Monsters in the dark.
13. Chapter 13 Different shades of Saint Larue.
14. Chapter 14 This want needs to die.
15. Chapter 15 Game on.
16. Chapter 16 May the best man win.
17. Chapter 17 You lose.
18. Chapter 18 Foreplay
19. Chapter 19 Secret weapon.
20. Chapter 20 Good boy
21. Chapter 21 Close call.
22. Chapter 22 Fingers and tongue
23. Chapter 23 Blurred lines.
24. Chapter 24 One more mistake for the night.
25. Chapter 25 Unravel me.
26. Chapter 26 The spy in the bathroom.
27. Chapter 27 Consequences.
28. Chapter 28 Desire is an ugly disease.
29. Chapter 29 His touch.
30. Chapter 30 Sinners.
31. Chapter 31 Ruin me.
32. Chapter 32 You're not allowed to save him.
33. Chapter 33 Soft
34. Chapter 34 Twice bitten
35. Chapter 35 Hurt.
36. Chapter 36 Bigger than the whole sky.
37. Chapter 37 An irrelevance.
38. Chapter 38 Marco Polo
39. Chapter 39 Why do you care?
40. Chapter 40 My father's son.
41. Chapter 41 Why can't I stay away?
42. Chapter 42 Magic together
43. Chapter 43 Wounded.
44. Chapter 44 Addicting.
45. Chapter 45 Friends.
46. Chapter 46 Surrender
47. Chapter 47 Regret it
48. Chapter 48 I want you so bad.
49. Chapter 49 Wanna join the list?
50. Chapter 50 When life gives you lemons, suck it dry.
51. Chapter 51 His mouth.
52. Chapter 52 Yes, you can take it.
53. Chapter 53 Drown.
54. Chapter 54 The cure.
55. Chapter 55 You fool.
56. Chapter 56 Love is immortalised.
57. Chapter 57 Fucked.
58. Chapter 58 Gone.
59. Chapter 59 Falling
60. Chapter 60 Under the table.
61. Chapter 61 Messy
62. Chapter 62 Seven and scared.
63. Chapter 63 My sweet boy
64. Chapter 64 Do you love me?
65. Chapter 65 Jealous.
66. Chapter 66 I know what you do in that house.
67. Chapter 67 You belong to me.
68. Chapter 68 All I want is you.
69. Chapter 69 Our thing.
70. Chapter 70 Or something.
71. Chapter 71 Friendship
72. Chapter 72 Familiars.
73. Chapter 73 Timer running out.
74. Chapter 74 Open your eyes.
75. Chapter 75 Winnie.
76. Chapter 76 Fuck me now
77. Chapter 77 You're pure sin, Saint.
78. Chapter 78 Roses and thorns
79. Chapter 79 Trading one addiction for the other.
80. Chapter 80 Trading one addiction for another II
81. Chapter 81 I want sin. I want you.
82. Chapter 82 Mesmerized
83. Chapter 83 Rise and fuck
84. Chapter 84 Familiar hell.
85. Chapter 85 In another life.
86. Chapter 86 Catholic guilt.
87. Chapter 87 Hidden
88. Chapter 88 The beginning of the end.
89. Chapter 89 Welcome to the end.
90. Chapter 90 At his expense.
91. Chapter 91 Love is love.
92. Chapter 92 Dark, endless pit.
93. Chapter 93 I'm an ally, baby.
94. Chapter 94 Where is Saint?
95. Chapter 95 We are done.
96. Chapter 96 What have you done?
97. Chapter 97 Quitting you.
98. Chapter 98 Mockery and cruel words.
99. Chapter 99 I saw you.
100. Chapter 100 I will not apologize
101. Chapter 101 What matters.
102. Chapter 102 Ruined O.
103. Chapter 103 He meant something to me.
104. Chapter 104 The good kind of love.
105. Chapter 105 Comfortable graves.
106. Chapter 106 Imprinted
107. Chapter 107 Sunshine, serendipity or some shit.
108. Chapter 108 Something to regret
109. Chapter 109 I don't want to be saved.
110. Chapter 110 What do I do with this love I have found?
111. Chapter 111 I am your father.
112. Chapter 112 A particular tenderness.
113. Chapter 113 Companionship.
114. Chapter 114 Companions.
115. Chapter 115 Evidence of self-destruction.
116. Chapter 116 Saving water.
117. Chapter 117 Violent delights
118. Chapter 118 Downhill
119. Chapter 119 Nothing I wouldn't do for you.
120. Chapter 120 Lovemaking in denial.
121. Chapter 121 Nine and scared.
122. Chapter 122 The fabric of our souls.
123. Chapter 123 Decayed heart.
124. Chapter 124 Boyfriend.
125. Chapter 125 Limited.
126. Chapter 126 Surviving him.
127. Chapter 127 Love you, love you.
128. Chapter 128 Icarus.
129. Chapter 129 Running with you.
130. Chapter 130 Lights in every corner of me.
131. Chapter 131 The double lives of Saint Larue.
132. Chapter 132 Secrets.
133. Chapter 133 Undoing.
134. Chapter 134 Do not ever touch him.
135. Chapter 135 Mirror.
136. Chapter 136 Reid loves me.
137. Chapter 137 Love is survival.
138. Chapter 138 Warm hands in mine.
139. Chapter 139 You're using him.
140. Chapter 140 Variations of love.
141. Chapter 141 It has to be enough.
142. Chapter 142 Vegas I
143. Chapter 143 Vegas II
144. Chapter 144 VEGAS III
145. Chapter 145 VEGAS IV – North Star
146. Chapter 146 VEGAS V
147. Chapter 147 Fuck.
148. Chapter 148 Doomed.
149. Chapter 149 Congratulations.
150. Chapter 150 Like his father.
151. Chapter 151 Bad trip.
152. Chapter 152 My Saint.
153. Chapter 153 My suffering and my burden.
154. Chapter 154 The uncomfortable past.
155. Chapter 155 I'm not giving up on you.
156. Chapter 156 You were a baby.
157. Chapter 157 Conditioned.
158. Chapter 158 I need him.
159. Chapter 159 You can't save him.
160. Chapter 160 I'm sorry.
161. Chapter 161 Variations of Love II
162. Chapter 162 Something is different.
163. Chapter 163 Cans of worms and Pandora boxes.
164. Chapter 164 The foundation.
165. Chapter 165 Variations of Love III
166. Chapter 166 My Winter
167. Chapter 167 The loss of you.
168. Chapter 168 Restraint.
169. Chapter 169 Running in the rain.
170. Chapter 170 Me.
171. Chapter 171 Violence and Talent.
172. Chapter 172 Why isn't it enough?
173. Chapter 173 Does he suck you off after every game?
174. Chapter 174 The right kind of love.
175. Chapter 175 My sins are mine.
176. Chapter 176 Evolution of love
177. Chapter 177 I am not your project.
178. Chapter 178 The spite you have been burying.
179. Chapter 179 You are doing it wrongly.
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