Chapter 27

As I made my way toward the main door it felt like I was wading through a heavy thick fog that surrounded me. With each step I took it felt like time was stretching on forever and ever. Right when I was about to reach out and grab the door handle I suddenly heard Maria's careful voice break through my thoughts which felt like a delicate bubble ready to burst at any moment. She asked in a concerned tone “Iris where are you going?”

“I’m going to go out now,” I said in a short and sharp tone. Each word I spoke felt heavy and required a lot of effort because I was trying hard to control my feelings and not let them show.

“What is it for?” Maria asked insistently her frown becoming more pronounced as a look of worry appeared on her face. I could feel that every part of me wanted to ignore her question and just move on but I understood that she was only asking because she cared about me.

“I have something I need to pick up at the mall,” I said trying my best to sound casual and relaxed in my tone. “It’s nothing too important just a few little items that I need.” I was trying to persuade not just her but also myself to believe that it wasn’t a big deal.

Maria paused for a moment her teeth gripping her lower lip as she expressed her uncertainty. The concern was clear in her eyes which seemed to convey a deep sense of worry. “But—” she started to say trailing off as if searching for the right words.

“I promise I’ll come back before Raf gets here,” I said quickly wanting to stop all the worries and concerns that were starting to build up in her mind. “You don’t need to be worried about me at all.” Even though I sounded calm inside I didn’t feel as steady as my voice suggested.

“I just want to share my thoughts with you... I'm really worried that he might become angry if he discovers that you are out by yourself.” Maria finally admitted. The way she spoke showed that she felt anxious about the situation.

“Alright, I promise I will hurry! I’ll go in and come out quickly just like I said okay?” I insisted feeling a strong sense of urgency for my freedom growing inside me. “You need to calm down Maria! I need a moment to catch my breath. Please just give me that chance.” It felt like I was begging desperately reaching out for help in a stormy sea.

With a hesitant and somewhat heavy-hearted nod that looked like it was making her feel burdened, Maria finally agreed to the request. “Alright I will go along with it but please make sure that whatever it is gets done before he comes back home.”

“Yes of course,” I responded quickly as I was already making my way outside. As soon as I stepped out the door I felt the cool fresh air rush over me like a wave lifting my spirits significantly. The sun was shining brightly and its warm rays touched my skin making me feel warm and good all over almost as if I was being hugged from the inside.

In that short moment, all the worries and pressures that I had been feeling about Luiza Raf and everything else that was going on around me seemed to fade away and felt unimportant.

As I continued to walk I couldn't shake off a strange feeling that kept nagging at me in the back of my mind. It was a little voice of doubt that made my newfound sense of freedom feel less bright and joyful. The idea of running away started to feel appealing almost like an exciting daydream about escaping my current situation but that feeling was just out of reach like something I could see but couldn’t touch.

With every step I took away from the big mansion, my heart felt heavy and I could feel a deep desire for true freedom growing inside me. The thought of leaving everything I knew behind was tempting and lingered in my mind—it was like a little spark of hope—but I couldn’t help but think that if only it were that easy to do.

“No” I softly said to myself shaking my head vigorously. “Raf would come searching for me if I didn't return. It’s not worth the risk.” This strong belief felt like both a protective shield and a heavy chain keeping me tied to the responsibilities I had. I couldn’t just walk away from them without feeling the weight of my obligations.

I waved to get the attention of a cab and as I climbed inside my mind was filled with confusion and a strong desire to push through my feelings. I was thinking a lot about what was going to happen next when I got out of the car. I kept wondering what I would face when I reached my destination.

Finally, when the cab stopped I opened the door and got out. With a strong sense of determination, I walked confidently toward the entrance of the mall making sure to stay focused on my goal.

Inside the store, the air was filled with the lively energy of people shopping all around me. Each person seemed to be focused on their tasks completely unaware of the whirlwind of thoughts that were racing through my mind. I took a deep breath trying hard to create a sense of calm and normality for myself even as everything felt so chaotic inside my head.

As I walked slowly through the mall I looked at the different store windows that were lined up but they seemed to move past me quickly almost like memories that fade away. I wasn't looking for anything fancy or expensive I just needed to find a hairbrush and maybe a face mask—something simple and small that could help me feel a little more like myself again amid all the chaos around me.

As I walked leisurely by a cosmetics store I noticed a sudden burst of bright and lively colors that captured my attention. The attractive display of beauty products seemed to invite me to come closer and take a look.

I stopped for a moment considering the possibility of treating myself to something nice. However, after thinking it over for a brief time, I decided against it. At that moment I realized that even a small treat or indulgence felt like something extravagant and beyond my reach.

“Iris!” Suddenly a voice broke into my thoughts….