Chapter 5 Chapter 5
Imani
My finger hovered over the green answer button, and for a second, everything else vanished. The arrived early, the fellowship, Mika standing a step away, and the whispered that followed us across the campus. Only one thing mattered.
Gideon.
I swiped.
“...Hello?”
He did not answer and I knew that this silence was not won because of bad connection.
My chest tightened.
“Gideon?”
His voice finally came through, rougher than I remembered.
“...Imani.”
The sound of my name almost broke me.
“You finally decided to remember you have a sister?” I snapped before I could stop myself. “For crying down loud, you could have at least called me. And I think that you know very well that phones did exist. They still do.”
He sighed.
“I deserved that.”
“You deserved a lot worse.” I turned away from Mika, putting a little distance between us, though I could still feel him there. He wasn't trying to eavesdrop. Somehow that made me more aware of him.
“Do you have any idea what happened yesterday?” I demanded. “The entire arena turned on me. The report just chopped microphones in my face. People called me a traitor. People threw things at me. And the worst part is my own teammates kept asking why I lied to them. And through it all, you did not answer a single call. How could you even do that?”
“I'm sorry.” He said, his voice low.
“Sorry?” I laughed, bitter. “That is all you have. You left, you transferred to Lake hurt, you let me find out on a scoreboard and I was the one who was left stranded not knowing how to answer. My breathing went uneven. “I kept thinking there had to be a mistake. I kept hearing from strangers that my brother abandoned the team. You didn't even trust me enough to tell me.”
“You know that I trust you more than anyone else.”
“Then why?” I asked.
Another pause.
“I can't tell you.”
Anger surged so fast I nearly threw my phone. “Unbelievable. I swear, after everything that you've done, you call me after disappearing only to let me know that you cannot tell me.”
“It isn't that simple.” He said, his voice dropping.
“You chose them.” I snapped. “You transferred. You abandoned our team. You abandoned me.”
“I transferred for a reason.”
The tears I'd been holding back burned behind my eyes. “I defended you, Gideon. I told everyone that you had an explanation. I waited, I called, I texted, and what did I get? Nothing.”
“Imani...”
“No.” I shook my head though he couldn't see me. “You don't get to disappear for weeks, destroy our family, ruin my reputation, and then expect me to understand. You don't get to do that. Not everything that you do is something that you can get away with.”
“I never wanted you dragged into this.”
“What does that mean?” Silence stretched too long. “Gideon? What is it that you are hiding that is too difficult for me to understand? You have the nerve to call me after everything then you should just say the least. Explain to me what is going on.”
“I'll explain when it's safe.” He said, lowering his voice. “I… I can't explain anymore. I know that you have so many questions. But I can't do that.”
My patience snapped. “I don't care anymore. I spent all night wondering if you were hurt, if you were in trouble, if something terrible happened to you. But apparently you can make calls just fine. So whatever it is, I think that you could handle it yourself.”
“I'm your brother.”
“And you stopped acting like one.” I said angrily. “I don't hate you, I just don't know who you are anymore and I don't want to allow myself to get into something that I don't understand.”
“I love you, Mani.” He whispered. He hadn't called me that nickname since my father died, and for one painful second I saw us again, two kids racing across harbor ice.
We were a family and our tiny family had been gone. It was stripped away from us and now he had walked away from me, leaving me alone.
“I have to go.” I whispered, fearing that I would end up backing away from my decision.
“Imani…”
I ended the call before he could say a word. I stared at my reflection for several seconds before realizing that tears were sliding down my cheeks. I wiped them away quickly because I refused to allow anyone to see me crying, not when I knew that they would be expecting a reaction like this.
I took a deep breath, then another, wanting to walk away before Mika called me.
“Imani.” His voice was just above a whisper. He did not stop the call once. He did not interrupt, nor did he try to understand. more than I was willing to give. But right now I could not care less.
“You heard enough,” I muttered. “I think that we should just close the subject as it is.”
“I didn't hear everything.”
“You heard enough.” I said, looking away from him, fearing that he would see my eyes and how broken I felt.
He nodded. “I wasn't trying to listen. I promise you I wasn't.”
“I know.” I whispered, clearing my throat as I calmed myself down.
“Are you okay?” He asked, glancing back at the reader, noticing how he knew I didn't want to step back there.
I almost laughed. “What do you think?”
His lips pressed together.
“No.”
" Then you shouldn't have asked.” I said, wrapping an arm around myself. “We told each other everything. I have never seen him keep a secret from me. And now suddenly not only does he have secrets, but he knows that he is stabbing so many people in the back and he doesn't seem to realize it. And apparently I was supposed to just be fine with it, and I was supposed to drop the subject as it if it is nothing.”
“He said that he transferred for a reason, but he is refusing to tell me what it is.” Mika's phrase so briefly was filled with concern. But then he masked it with his calm expression.
“Well, if I know you're a brother enough, I know that he would not stab you in the back of all people.” He said, taking a step towards me. “So if he chose to do something, then I think that you are going to need to trust him. No matter how painful it might be…”
