Chapter 6 Planning.

Allison

Sophie looked at me for exactly three seconds before saying, "Promise you won't freak out."

I let out another deep sigh. "You've started with those exact words before every terrible idea you've ever had."

She waved a dismissive hand. "This one's different,”

She's always said that before any bad decisions. Sometimes I wonder how my best friend's brain works. She's always managed to come up with the most creative ways to make terrible choices.

Sophie glanced at the door to Kaden’s room again. “You know what, let’s go to our apartment.”

I stood up slowly, not because I wanted to hear whatever her plans were, but because she was going to keep disturbing me with it if I don’t give her a listening ear now.

“This is so similar to when you convinced Bryan to dye his hair blond.”

Bryan had been drunk as usual and Sophie had wanted to get back at him for an insult earlier on that day. I didn't know what type of dye he used but it didn't come off for months.

“I did him a favour and upped his personality. He looked good in the hairstyle.” Sophie scoffed.

I stared at her unbelievably. "No, he didn't. He looked like an overripe banana."

She rolled her eyes and opened the door to let me out. "Well, this one is a really good idea and you wouldn't have to bleach your hair.”

I rolled my eyes. "I'm already nervous."

Her grin widened. "It’s the best idea to help you get over Sean."

"I don't need help getting over Sean,” I said as soon as we got to our next door apartment. I plopped onto the couch.

"You do."

"I really don't."

"You cried yourself to sleep the other day."

"That was because I had shampoo in my eyes."

"Allie."

“…and because I stubbed my toe."

"Allison!"

"And maybe because I was emotional." I sighed.

She gave me a look that seemed to say she knew that I was just giving excuses.

"The point is," I continued quickly, "I'm fine."

"Liar."

"I am."

She snorted despite herself before settling beside me. "Okay. Hear me out."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"What if you were the person who ends up making Kaden Blackwood feel emotions?"

I blinked once and then twice and then I burst out laughing. When I realized that she wasn’t laughing as well, I stopped.

“Oh, you’re serious?”

“Yes!” She flung her arms.

"I'm sorry,” I leaned closer. "What?"

"You heard me."

I stared at her as though she'd announced that she wanted to adopt a crocodile.

"Sophie."

"Yes?"

"Okay, first of all..." I pointed a finger at her. "I'm not heartbroken."

She opened her mouth.

"No, let me finish,” I took a deep breath. "I'm not spending every waking moment crying over Sean. My life didn't end because he cheated on me."

She remained unconvinced.

"And even if I were heartbroken," I continued, "why on earth would the solution be making Kaden feel emotions?"

"Because it'd be fun."

I shook my head. "It'd be exhausting."

"Same thing."

"No, it isn't."

"It is if you're me."

I dropped my head into my hands, "You've officially lost your mind."

"Well, I lost it years ago." She shrugged.

"I noticed." I said sarcastically.

She scooted closer. "I'm serious,” her voice softened. "I know you've been crying every night. I hear when you think I'm asleep. You've barely smiled since the tournament. And last night, you drank because everything became too much.”

Everything she said was true. Well, kind of. I haven't exactly been crying every night.

“I wasn't…”

"You don't have to act fine with me, Al,” she reached over and squeezed my hand. "I know you're hurting."

I closed my eyes tightly.

Sean cheating had hurt. I loved him and had even imagined a future with him. Finding him with Abby had shattered something inside me.

But if I were being completely honest with myself, the thing that haunted me wasn't Sean.

It was that scoreboard.

The moment I realised that my dream had slipped through my fingers because I couldn't stop replaying what I'd seen in that storage room.

Every night, that scoreboard flashed behind my eyes.

Not Sean's face, the scoreboard.

Several years of training, early morning practices, blisters, sprained wrists, missed events. All for one chance. One chance I'd thrown away. All because of a man who had been fucking my rival.

People thought I'd choked under pressure. Nobody knew I'd already lost before I stepped back onto that court.

Sean had broken my heart. But losing the Regionals to Abby broke something much deeper.

I hated the both of them.

"So?" Sophie asked, jolting me from my thoughts.

"So what?"

"What do you think?"

I leaned back against the couch.

The idea was ridiculous, completely ridiculous.

Kaden Blackwood was probably the least emotionally expressive human being I'd ever met.

Trying to make him feel something sounded like trying to teach a brick wall interpretive dance.

And yet, I smiled at the thought of Kaden laughing.

Maybe a distraction wasn't the worst thing, even if it was a ridiculous distraction.

It was probably the break I needed.

As long as Kaden never finds out, it really didn’t sound so bad.

I'd never intentionally embarrass him or hurt his feelings.

This wasn't about making fun of him, It was about giving my brain permission to think about something else for a while.

I looked at Sophie. "Okay, so hypothetically…."

She gasped. "You're actually considering it."

"You brought the idea and I said hypothetically…."

"That's practically a yes,” she grinned.

"I didn't say yes."

"But you're thinking about saying yes,” she

I sighed dramatically. "I hate that you know me."

She clapped excitedly, "We’re doing this."

"I still haven't agreed."

"You will."

"I might not."

"You definitely will."

"Okay, fine." I rolled my eyes. My best friend had to be the most persuasive person I've ever met.

She squealed so loudly that I instinctively covered my ears. "Oh my God!"

"Sophie! Keep your voice down!" I hushed.

My eyes darted around as if Kaden would appear through the wall of the apartment. He was literally next door and we're making plans based on his emotions.

“Okay okay, sorry.” She finally calmed down. "I've been waiting for something interesting to happen all month."

"And I am your entertainment?”

"Well, not technically but you'll survive."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright."

She grabbed a notebook from the coffee table.

"If we're doing this, we need to plan properly."

"You've already made this sound illegal."

She ignored me and uncapped a pen. "Step one, we identify emotions."

She wrote something on the notebook. I tried to peek to see what she wrote.

"That sounds like therapy." I muttered.

"It kind of is,” she drew a line beneath the heading.

She looked up from the notebook and drummed the pen on her chin. "Emotion number one: Annoyance."

I burst out laughing, "That one's easy. Kaden's always annoyed with literally everyone."

"We'll count it anyway."

She scribbled it down. "Next, happiness."

“Like how?” I asked. I cannot think of anything that would make Kaden happy.

“I don't know, maybe like tell a funny joke or something that'll make him laugh. I've literally never seen him laugh. A laugh would sound beautiful coming from those gorgeous lips."

I frowned, "I've seen him smile."

"When?"

"When Bryan says or does something stupid. There's always like a slight tilt of his lips and he shakes his head."

"Well, Bryan doesn't count."

"Why not?" I furrowed my brows.

"Because Bryan is his best friend."

"Fair."

She tapped the pen against her chin, "I want an actual laugh."

I snorted, "I've literally never heard him laugh too."

"I don't think he knows how."

She giggled while writing "Okay so we agree on happiness, preferably a laughter."

“And next…”

"Jealousy,” she completed.

I looked at her and then I laughed again, "You've officially gone insane."

"Why?"

"Jealousy? Really?"

I pointed towards Bryan's apartment.

"That man barely reacts when the microwave beeps. And you think he'll get jealous? Of what?"

She shrugged, "We'll figure it out."

"I think you've been watching too many romance movies." I shook my head.

"I call it research."

"I call it delusion."

She added it anyway, with three dramatic underlines.

"And lastly,” She paused, "Sadness."

"No,” I shook my head. Absolutely not."

"What?"

"No."

She frowned, "I don't want to genuinely make him sad."

"Neither do I. It feels mean."

She let out a deep sigh, "I guess."

We both sat quietly for a moment and then I spoke first, breaking the silence.

"What if..."

She snapped her fingers, "A movie."

"A movie?"

"A really sad movie."

I thought about it. "So we wouldn't be making him sad."

"We'd just..,” she searched for the right word. "...encourage empathy."

I laughed, "that’s a very generous way of putting it."

"So?"

I shrugged.

"If he gets emotional over Titanic, I suppose it counts."

She pointed the pen at me. "Exactly."

And then she wrote it down. "No emotional damage."

"No trauma."

"No making him cry for real, just a little sadness."

"Deal."

She closed the notebook with a satisfied smile.

"There."

I looked down at the page.This was a ridiculous list and an even more ridiculous challenge which involved a ridiculous man.

I must’ve lost my mind to agree with this. I couldn’t possibly be going through with this.

I shook my head rapidly. This was crazy. I was actually doing it.