Chapter 148

Sometime later, maybe hours, maybe days, the wall turned mirror-like as the light turned on outside. I didn’t know how it worked or why, but I saw myself for the first time in a long time and could barely breathe. I was filthy. Dirt was smeared all over my face, matting my hair. My clothes were ripped up, exposing my bra and skin. Blood was smeared everywhere, but there on my chest, glinting with moonlight, was my still incomplete moon mark.

My heart lurched and I could barely breathe at the sight of it.

I didn’t understand. I tugged my clothes down and rubbed at the dirt and grime smeared on my chest, but nothing helped. It was still incomplete. I stared at it. The moon mark hadn’t grown or shrank. Nothing about it had changed, but how was that possible?

What did that mean? I knew my birthday was near. It should have been complete already. My heart raced.

Was I wrong? Were we wrong? Was everything I had been feeling and saying until now been completely wrong?

I thought back to his wedding, how confident I had felt, how sure I felt. I thought about every moment since when we had shared dreams or simply known when each other were nearby. I felt him, but all of that would mean nothing if the moon mark wasn’t complete, right?

That’s what I had always been told. Without the moon mark it was just… a coincidence? Wishful thinking? Did it have something to do with me being half-vampire? Had I somehow tricked myself and Candido into believing we were mates?

My heart pounded as I wanted to cry. Everything in me started to feel hopeless. I was stuck in this prison. Candido was who knew where and in what state. I was too weak to do anything, and now it was likely that Candido wasn’t my mate after all.

The lights went out again and though I knew the ground would start shifting and I would be tossed around I couldn’t even care. I didn’t brace myself. I didn’t try to protect anything. I just let it do whatever it wanted.

If Candido wasn’t my mate, what was the point? I only joined Moon Shadow because of him, and now it felt, more and more, like that had been a waste of time. Artemis had been right. I wasn’t a real Moon Shadow operative, not like her and Gilgamesh, and she was a New Moon wolf like Francia. I was little more than back-office support.

I felt… ridiculous and stupid for the first time, like I’d wasted years chasing something that couldn’t ever be mine.

I shook my head. Before, when I had no idea that Candido and Sibyl were promised to each other, I had decided to join Moon Shadow for him. Pining for him, wanting to be with him. I hadn’t really expected him to ever see me in that light, but then he did.

My jaw trembled, thinking back on what he said about mates as I slammed into the stone floor again and didn’t move. Candido had been prepared to go through the farce of the marriage because he knew that it wouldn’t work out because Sibyl wasn’t his mate, but he’d also said that he didn’t want to be his parents. He didn’t want to marry anyone but his mate.

Even though he said he loved me, would it matter once he found that we weren’t mates?

I sniffled, wondering if maybe the Moon Goddess was punishing me for wanting too much, for not simply being grateful for

I heard footsteps and the light outside came on, but I couldn’t even gather the energy or hope to sit up and see who was coming. My tears had run dry, but I couldn’t stop sobbing. I didn’t know how much time had passed since Messiah had come, but it had felt longer. I’d gone in and out of consciousness, but the chill had settled in my blood.

“Still alive,” Shiloh said, leaning against the gate. “Good, but how much longer are you going to be in here? It’s been almost two weeks. At this rate, there’s not going to be much of you left.”

Two weeks? My eyes burned though I couldn’t cry. I dropped my head and screamed, pounding my hands on the stone. Pain shot up my hands as I beat at the stone and screamed.

“It’s not fair! It’s not fair!”

“Should I just… come back or something?” Shiloh asked grimacing at me. “You seem to be having a moment…”

I growled at him. “What did you vampires do to me? Why isn’t my moon mark complete? I’m Candido’s mate.”

He scoffed. “You’re a vampire hybrid.”

“What does that mean?” I shrieked. “Candido’s mine!”

“Yeah, no one else wants him,” Shiloh scoffed. “Trust me. Too old looking for me.”

I growled. “He’s not old-looking.”

“What do you know? All you’ve got is rose-colored glassed,” he shrugged. “The blonde hides the gray, but nothing to be done about those wrinkles. It’s like he’s too manly to take care of his face.”

“Candido’s way more handsome than you!”

He shrugged. “I’m not knocking your taste in daddy. I’m just saying he’s not my taste in anything. What are you screeching about? You already lost Messiah five coins. I’ve got a bet with Raven to win, so I’d really appreciate you hurrying this little pity party along.”

“What’s the point?” I asked, flopping over. “My moon mark hasn’t changed.”

“Uh huh… and?”

“I’m… I’m Candido’s mate. I have to be, but it hasn’t changed.”

“Uh huh… and?”

I glared at him. “I love him! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

He blinked. I turned away from him. “You’d never understand what it means for a werewolf to have a mate. To have the one person granted by the moon goddess to be theirs for their entire lives—to die and live together.”

“… which is why he’s going to die at least twenty years before you?”

“No, he won’t!”

“Isn’t he almost in his fifties?” Shiloh asked. “He’s got, at max, twenty more years left. You’re like twenty. What are you going to do? Off yourself at his funeral?”

My jaw trembled. “We’re mates. We’ going to die together!”

“So… you’re going to off yourself on his death bed,” he shrugged. “Solid death plan. I’m sure Raven will come up with a good line for your headstone. Died with Daddy, or something.” He frowned. “You know what, I’m gonna keep that to myself and see what she comes up with. Wanna bet it won’t be half as good?”

I surged across the room, baring my teeth at him. “Don’t mock me!”

He grinned. “Ooh, you look angry! It’s working. That’s great. Maybe you’ll get yourself out of here within the next… year?”

He laughed. “No, seriously. What are you all up in arms about? You weren’t this angry when Messiah was here.”

“Candido is my mate. The Moon Goddess gave him to me! You must have done something so my moon mark wouldn’t complete.”

“You’re not twenty though?”

“You said it’s been two weeks!” I cried. “I am twenty.”

He scoffed, “Maybe as a werewolf, but not as a vampire.”

I blinked at him. “What?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m going to regret this, but there’s no sense in you moping around in there for another two weeks. Look, you’re half vampire which means you have vampire birthdays. The day you were born, that one that’s on your birth certificate in the werewolf world is one and the others is the date of your first breath under a blood moon.” He pulled out his phone. “Uncle Ian says it’s several months away, so chill. Your moon mark thingy will be done.”

He snorted. “I can’t believe you still think the Moon Goddess gives people anything.”

He drew back. “I’m going to owe Raven so much money. I’m never making another bet on you again. You’re officially the worst cousin I have.”

I growled at him. “You can’t talk to me like that!”

“Pick a fight after you’ve taken a bath,” he said, flicking his hand. A wall of water washed over me, knocking me back. It was warm, but in the cold of the cell it didn’t do much of anything.

His footsteps faded, but the light remained on. I stood and approached the cell, the closer I grew, the more I could see the spikes. I grabbed one. My hands burned as I pulled and yanked, throwing my weight and all my strength into it, but nothing happened. Then, the spikes retracted, cutting my palms, and making me stumble.

I screeched at the bars, banging my fists on the walls around it. The light went out, but I kept pounding on it. Then, the wall disappeared and I was pitched forward through the dark.

I slammed against the cell wall and groaned, sliding down as the metal clang echoed in the air.