Chapter 183

“Are you thinking about it?” Cillian asked. “What it would be like?”

“I…” I swallowed past the dryness in my throat.

I couldn’t answer, but that wasn’t because I didn’t have an answer.

Yes. Yes, I was thinking about it. Would he be gentle with me? Would he not? Did I want him to be? I felt… hungry and clenched my thighs together as an ache began to build there. I didn’t know what to say or if I even needed to say anything.

Unlike Candido, Cillian seemed to know exactly what I wanted and wanted to give it to me, even if I couldn’t say it.

“Are you thinking about what my hands on you will feel like? My mouth? How hard I am? How wet you’d be for me?”

I couldn’t speak. I was so embarrassed and turned on that I couldn’t think. What… What was he saying? How could he say something like that in public? But how was I supposed to resist or deny what he was saying either? No one had ever talked to me like this.

I couldn’t even imagine Candido talking to me like this.

That connection I’d felt before felt more powerful now, like a burning live wire between us. I felt trapped in his gaze, but I didn’t want to move. That promise in his eyes, his words, and his whole demeanor was making my gut clench and my heart race.

He smirked and walked forward, forcing me to step back until the shadow of a stall fell over me. My back hit the stall wall and he leaned over me, lowering his head so I could feel his breath ghosting across my lips.

“Do you want to find out, Hedy?” He asked.

I licked my lips and met his gaze. My stomach was fluttering. My heart thudded in my ears. This felt so different, so much different than anything I had ever imagined. There was nothing but desire in his eyes like he wanted me and he planned to have me right now in the middle of the street if he could.

Could I?

Would I let him?

How far would I go? How far could I go?

“Do you want… a taste of what it could be like?”

I nodded my head, feeling like if I didn’t then I’d lose the chance forever.

He pressed our lips together and parted my lips with his tongue. His hands slipped over my waist and over my ass, squeezing as he parted my legs with his hips. I shuddered and moaned at the spike of pleasure that went through as he rolled his hips against mine, pressing the hard line of his cock against me. Cillian cupped my jaw and kissed me like he wanted to devour me.

He pulled away as I gasped and dropped his lips to my neck, nibbling before I felt a pinprick of sensation. Then, pleasure like I had never known rushed through me. I gasped and moaned, holding his head against my neck. My head was dizzy, and slowly, I realized that someone from Moon Shadow was standing across the way, watching.

I almost smirked, knowing he’d tell Candido what he’d seen as the pleasure crested in me, and I cried out.

His hands slipped under my dress, hiking it up. My face burned with embarrassment and I tried to stop him, but my strength failed me as he pulled me around to kiss him again. He slipped his hand between my thighs and pressed the heel of his palm up until I saw stars. I heard another moan, wanton and completely foreign to me, but I couldn’t think beyond that.

Was that me? I didn’t know, I tightened my grip on the thick fabric of his jacket and held on as the pleasure thrashed and rushed through me. I pushed my hips against his hand. Sparks and electricity seemed to shoot through me. It was crazy, but I didn’t want to stop. I wanted more.

“That’s it,” he said against my lips. “Move your hips, just like that. You’re such a good girl.”

I moaned as he pressed our lips together again and he pulled the strap of my dress and my bra down enough to get his hand on my breast. I gasped, dizzy and overwhelmed. No one had ever touched me like this. Even that dream with Candido hadn’t felt like this. The heat of his body, the thrill of knowing that people walking by could see us, and the passion he kissed and touched me with were almost too much. I felt the pleasure building in me. It felt like I was running down a steep hill and about to tumble over a cliff.

“C-Cillian—” I groaned as he pressed our lips together again. His hand clamped around my jaw and held me still as I grew closer and closer.

My cry was smothered in his mouth and he kissed me. For a while I couldn’t hear or feel anything but the shocks of pleasure rushing through me. My vision blurred a hot, blissful white, and as it cleared, I realized that Cillian was looking at me. His hand was around my jaw. His other hand was between my legs.

I couldn’t speak.

I didn’t know what to say to him or if there was anything I could say.

He smiled and licked his lips. Then, he pulled his hand from between my legs and licked the glistening digits. My eyes widened in shock. A jolt of want went through me. My stomach clenched almost painfully at the sight. He pulled back and set my clothing back into place. I could feel how wet I was and I hadn’t moved from against the wall.

“I should get you back to the barracks,” he smirked. “Though… if you want more, I, too, have a communication mirror.”

I stumbled and felt something hot and wet slide down my thigh. He offered me his clean hand. “Come along before someone thinks I’ve ravished you behind this stall.”

“W-Would you?”

“Don’t tempt me,” he said and took my hand. My heart was thundering as he pulled me along after him. We stopped once for ice cream on the way back to the barracks. I kept waiting for someone to look at us strangely, to say something, to call us out, but no one said anything.

Then, I realized that the man from Moon Shadow I had seen was gone.

In fact, every person from Moon Shadow seemed gone from the streets. Cillian walked me to the front door of the barracks and offered me a polite bow.

“You have been… absolutely delicious.”

My eyes widened as he smirked and his eyes twinkled with mischief. “Until next we meet, Hedy.”

“Y-Yeah…”

I entered, trying not to think too much about it, but my heart was still racing and it was hard to concentrate on anything but the pleasure that was still rolling through my body. I could still feel his breath against my neck, the heat of his hands on my body. I got back to the room I was staying in and sank onto the bed, shaking.

Was that… just a taste of everything that I had been missing? What I didn’t even have the words to say that I wanted? If I called Cillian, would he give me more? How much more? How much more did I want?

All of it. A part of me said, and I wasn’t even sure that I wanted it all from Candido right now.

I scoffed. I wasn’t even sure If I could get it from Candido since he was refusing to apologize to me and had basically thrown me away.

If I had more with Cillian, would Candido finally see me as a woman? Candido had never said, but I was pretty sure that he had had sex before. Did he see me as too innocent to have?

Maybe he was attracted to Estella because she’s had sex before. Maybe… Maybe because I was only half-vampire I needed sex, I needed the boost or something to make the rest of my maturation speed up?

I didn’t know if I was just hoping that it would get Candido to finally give in or if part of me was starting to realize that he would never give me what I wanted.

I shook my head. I shouldn’t. I couldn’t. And that wasn’t true. Candido would cave. I knew he would. We were mates and he was so devout that he couldn’t do anything but cave. No matter what I had to do, I would make him cave.

I could see Cillian’s eyes and the way he looked at me when I was mostly naked. I could see his fingers hooking into my panties and pulling them down. I pressed my legs together and tried to push the thoughts away, but I couldn’t. I felt feverish and distracted

I reached into the bag I’d been carrying and before I could find the communication mirror, I felt my phone buzz.

I opened the message and saw a message from Claire.

Are you not coming?