Chapter 4 Untitled Chapter

The hotel room was ugly, that was the first thought that crossed my mind the moment I woke up.

Perhaps my life was too.

Why would a room look this plain, beige color all over the place, from the carpet to the half opened curtains.

It didn't bother to me that I wasn't making any sense analyzing the hotel room I booked with the last cash I owned. My brain seemed to have decided on my behalf that it was the safest thing to do.

Watching my life fall apart before my own eyes was already a lot to take in at once.

I sat upright, pressing my feet against the carpet, and took a deep breath. It was high time I did something .

Dragging myself off the bed, I picked one of my heel lying carelessly near the bathroom where I had kicked it off yesterday, I walked in, to brush my teeth.

My reflection in the bathroom mirror looked like a stranger. Puffy eyes, dull skin, and the mascara from last night smeared all over my face like bruises.

I turned on the tap, fetching enough water for my face, and pressing my wet hands to my face afterwards.

“Okay.” I sighed, although not quite sure what I was saying okay to.

After a couple of confused sighs and memory blockage, I finally stepped out of the bathroom, and that moment there was a knock on the door.

I was going to ask who was there, until it dawned on me that I actually called for food before stepping into the bathroom.

“Come in.” I mumbled, and a middle aged robed woman walked into the room with a tray.

“Enjoy your meal.” She said after setting the table, and walked out of the room, leaving just me, my meal and the beige looking room.

I had barely gotten a taste of the meal when the nausea came, ignoring it, I managed to eat a few spoons, pushing back the rest.

One more minute in this beige room, and I was certainly going to lose my mind.

There was a pharmacy down the road, I sighted it when I was being drive here.

“Maybe I'd just check there and get some drugs, or a test strip.” I mumbled, and immediately shook my head.

There's no way I'd be pregnant, there's no need checking.

The nausea came again, and I felt a weird movement in my stomach. “Dear God, please.” I shut my eyes tightly, knowing that a baby in this situation was going to be the worse idea.

Left without any choice, I walked to the Pharmacy, not bothering that I was literally racing towards it.

Of course the test was allowed to come out negative, at least I'd be relieved.

It's definitely going to be negative, I was sure of that.

**

Getting back to the weird looking room, I was anxious to get the test over with, so I rushed to the bathroom, sat on the edge of the tub and opened the box, reading out the instructions.

I finally did the test, with my heart literally resting in my mouth, only that this time it was beating faster than it had ever.

Not the way it did whenever I had to stand mother, or when I walked in on Clara and Ethan, this was different, and much more serious.

I shut my eyes, my hands trembling against the strip, and then slowly I opened my eyes and turned it over.

Two lines.

“Oh no.” I mumbled, my grip against it tightening, and my gaze growing intense, like if I kept looking at it, somehow one of the lines was going to disappear.

None of that happened, it wasn't a trick, I was really staring at two lines, not a prank.

“Ethan”

That was the first word that escaped my mouth, just his name. It felt as though my mind was automated in the stupid five years of our marriage, of making him the first word that showed up for everything.

My second voice always came slower, from somewhere that didn't really care about him, and I knew for a fact that was my own voice.

But why was it secondary?

How was I even pregnant when Ethan hasn't… oh no!

The pregnancy should be about six weeks, or longer, “So… I was aleeady carrying this at the gala? When I was asked out of the mansion like a mere furniture?”

“So the whole time while Clara and Margret made fun of me I'd been carrying it the whole time.” I mumbled my hands unconsciously finding my stomach.

I couldn't stop my hands from trembling or resting against my stomach, but there was something else I could stop, and that's tears from rolling down my eyes.

The bathroom wasn't somewhere to cry, besides I'd cried enough, and now the weight resting against my chest was too heavy, tears wouldn't even express it even if I tried.

What I needed now was a solution, an actual one that was going to work. It's almost twenty four hours since I got in here, and the money I paid would be expired shortly.

Now I was seated here, with another life growing inside me, and technically nowhere to go.

“Your parents house?” My subconscious mind whispered, and a bitter chuckle escaped my lips.

Bad idea.

My Mother was against my getting involved with Ethan in the first place, and father never hesitated to prove to me that my life was a mess, and I could never be as perfect as Vivian.

“What about Dr. Lane?” I asked no one in particular, and shook my head, as if the idea was going to fall off if I did that.

She's been more than a mother to me, besides I wouldn't want to bother her up, it's been five years already.

And I can't remain here another night.

Now what?

After allowing my mind to pace to and fro, I realized they were the only ones who could save me from this mess, and taking a deep breath, I decided to try my luck.

Who knows?...