Chapter 4 Constantine POV "Sanity"

I don't know when I finally fell asleep.

I was too tense after her arm came over my chest. I almost lost my shit.

Catori is making me unravel.

I can see the edges of my sanity fraying.

I have to stop letting her sleep in my bed.

This is absolutely inappropriate.

I rub a hand over my eyes and stretch.

Catori is snoring softly next to me.

I almost smile.

Then I look down.

Motherfucker.

I scramble out of bed and pull the covers over her.

My old PT shirt has ridden up her back. She's wearing something that is pretending to be underwear.

Black.

Lacy.

Delicate.

Her bare ass is staring right at me.

The shape of it is perfect.

Her skin is perfect.

She is perfect.

There are no flaws.

And thanks to my photographic memory, this moment is now burned into my brain forever.

I am going straight to hell.

There has to be a special section reserved for guys like me.

Fucking hell.

I grab my sweats and throw them on.

Pants.

Tank top.

Sweatshirt.

Then I head into the bathroom and splash cold water on my face.

Fear.

Disgust.

Self-hatred.

They swirl together while I brush my teeth.

I can't even look at my reflection.

I hate myself right now.

When I'm finished, I grab socks and shoes on my way out.

The second my bedroom door clicks shut behind me, the feeling in my chest loosens.

A little.

I can already smell my mother's waffles.

I head toward the kitchen.

Sure enough, she's standing at the stove in her robe.

She turns and smiles.

"How did you sleep, baby?"

I sit on one of the chairs at the kitchen island.

"Not so great. It'll take some getting used to."

"The silence?"

I nod.

"Maybe get a sound machine?"

She slides a plate toward me.

"Maybe. I'll look into it."

A few minutes later Katia walks in.

Pajama pants.

Sweatshirt.

Wild blond hair.

She's always cold.

She drops into a chair a few seats away from me.

Morning Katia.

Nobody talks to Morning Katia.

She'll rip your head off.

Mom slides a plate in front of her.

Then another plate appears beside me.

And like magic, Catori slides into the seat.

I regret looking over immediately.

God damn it.

She still hasn't put anything else on.

She lifts one leg onto the chair and tugs the shirt down between her thighs.

Mom stands there eating waffles while continuing to ask me random questions.

We all ignore Katia.

Self-preservation.

"Well, let me know if you need help picking up clothes. I have to head to work."

I groan.

"Mom, honestly. I'm twenty-nine. I can buy my own clothes."

Catori stands and starts collecting plates.

Then she moves to the sink and begins washing dishes.

The shirt rides up.

Her ass makes another devastating appearance.

"Catori Bella Jones. Pants. Now."

Mom raises her voice.

"I'm not trying to body shame you or police you, but at least wear shorts. Your brother is back in the house. You cannot walk around in underwear."

"Those are barely classified as underwear," Katia adds.

Every head snaps toward her.

Holy shit.

She spoke.

Catori turns around.

And fuck.

My stomach twists.

I know how covered up she usually is. This is her home. This is where she's comfortable.

We're her family.

Color floods her face.

She looks embarrassed.

"It's fine, Mom. I don't care."

The lie slides out effortlessly.

I care.

A lot.

For reasons I'm not admitting out loud.

I need to sort myself out.

Everyone turns toward me.

Mom gives me one of her my good boy looks.

Catori turns back to the sink and continues washing dishes.

I do everything in my power not to look at her.

"What are you doing today, baby?" Mom asks.

I'm Baby.

Catori is Honey.

Katia is Precious.

Mom has a nickname for all of us.

"I have a therapy appointment. Then I need to get a car."

The mood shifts instantly.

Everyone gets tense whenever therapy comes up.

Mom quickly turns to Katia.

"Working all day. Then meeting friends."

Mom nods before looking at Catori.

"Workout with Freya. Shopping. Then a date."

A date.

Something about that word drives me up the wall.

I really need that appointment.

I need to unload.

"Please tell me you're not going out with Gym Bro," Katia says.

I've never heard her sound so irritated.

The sisters immediately start bickering.

Fucking Katia.

She gives everyone nicknames.

I stand because suddenly the noise is too much.

Mom follows me out of the kitchen.

She has to leave for work soon anyway.

Before we separate, she reaches for me.

"Get yourself something stupidly expensive. Your father complains you haven't spent any of your inheritance."

A laugh tears out of me.

Between Dad, Mom, my biological mother, and both sets of grandparents, I have more money than I know what to do with.

I haven't touched most of it.

The Air Force gave me everything I needed.

The only things I really splurge on are clothes and underwear.

Designer boxers.

I blame Mom for that habit.

Guys in basic training look at you funny when they spot Versace sticking out of your waistband.

I got called every slur imaginable.

Then they watched me ace everything.

That shut them up pretty fast.

I pop my headphones in and step into the elevator.

Maybe a morning run up and down the Strip is exactly what I need.

The doors slide shut.

I close my eyes.

Big mistake.

Because every time I blink, every time darkness hits for even a second, all I see is her.

That perfect ass.

And the worst part?

I don't think a twenty-mile run is going to fix this.