Chapter 4 Sydney's POV

It's only 2 weeks until my 18th birthday, and instead of being excited, all I feel is dread. In our pack, birthdays are a big deal---especially 18th birthdays---and this year mine falls on the same day as the mating ball. Everyone is excited about it except me. I already know I'll have to show my face, at least long enough to keep Alpha Lucas from asking questions, but the second I get the chance, I plan to disappear into the crowd and slip away. The last thing I want is all that attention on me.

My father hasn't put his hands on me or my mom for a week now, and even that small break feels like a gift. It's given us a chance to heal, at least enough to move without wincing every second. I'm supposed to go shopping for a gown for the ball soon, though honestly, I'd be happier showing up in jeans and a T-shirt. Alpha Lucas invited other packs, and of course the whole Blood Moon Pack will be there too, which only makes me dread it more. Everyone talks about the mating ball like it's something magical, like finding your mate is the best thing that can happen to a wolf. But from where I stand, being tied to someone for life doesn't sound romantic, it sounds like another trap. If a mate can hurt you the way my father hurt my mother, I'd rather be alone. More than anything, I just want to stick to my plan and leave this life behind.

On my way to school, all I could think was, thank the Goddess it's Friday. I miss my best friend more than I want to admit. I miss laughing with her, hanging out with her, and feeling normal for a little while. But I had to keep my distance. Gabby knows me better than anyone, and if I stayed too close, she would have figured out the truth, that things at home were bad, and that I was being abused. Still, I really don't want to go shopping for a gown alone. I'm healed up enough now that maybe I can ask her to come with me. We're still friends, even if we haven't been as close since everything started. Graduation is only a month away, and right now, that's the day I'm holding on for.

I don't even know if I'm going to get my wolf. I haven't felt anything yet. I've noticed changes on the outside, my eye color, my hair, but none of the things I'm supposed to feel on the inside. Bye now, my wolf should be stirring in my mind. She should be speaking to me, or at least letting me know she's there. But there's nothing. Just silence. Sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with me. I still feel weak, even if I'm a little stronger than I was last week. Not strong enough. Most wolves say they felt their wolf long before they ever shifted. They say they could talk to them too. It's rare not to have any sign of your wolf by the time you turn 18, so I guess all I can do now is wait and see what happens..

By the time I get to my last class, the day feels like it's dragging on forever. All I want is for it to be over. When the final bell rings at 2:45, relief watches through me. I head to my locker and spot Gabby standing nearby with her friends, my friends too, once upon a time. My stomach twists as I walk over, still trying to work up the nerve to ask if she'll come shopping with me. But before I could say anything, Gabby breaks away from the group and head straight for me. " Hey," She says with a small smile. " I was wondering... With the mating ball coming up, do you want to go to the dress shop with me today?"

They asking me first caught me completely off guard. Normally, I would have found some excuse to say no, but today I wanted to be with my friend. "Yes, Gabby," I said, managing a small smile. "I'd like that. I have to go get a gown for the ball anyway, and I really don't want to do it alone." Gabby threw her arms around me in a tight hug. "Syd, I'm so happy you're coming with me. You have no idea how much I've missed you." Gabby had always been soft-hearted, and if I was being honest, I'd missed her too. She was my best friend, and I wanted so badly to tell her what had been happening to me. But all I could hear was my mother's voice in the back of my mind, warning me that what happens in our home stays in our home. "I know," I whispered. "I missed you too."

"Do you want to get a coffee when we're done shopping?"She asked. Spending extra time with Gabby meant more chances for her to notice things I was trying so hard to hide. But it already said yes to shopping, and part of me didn't want the afternoon to end so quickly. "Okay," I said at last. "Yeah, coffee sounds good."