Chapter 20 Love at fish sight
Daniel's POV.
They say a person's view of the world shifts the moment they fall in love. It's an event that supposedly grants them a strange kind of strength and the inspiration to do things with newfound zest. It's a change where everything around you suddenly feels positive and vibrant—a feeling usually experienced by kids going through the throes of puberty. That stage of life where they taste love for the very first time.
Right, the truth is they only say those things because the feeling of liking someone—someone outside of their family—is so new to them. The idea that there's something "magical" enveloping those in love is a wondrous concept. It's like what people describe as the world "shimmering," or seeing a "spark" in the eyes of the one they love. Others claim there's a "slow-mo" effect, as if time itself decelerates whenever their beloved is in sight. But really, how true is any of that?
Our brains are capable of dictating illusions based on what we feel, what we know, and what we choose to accept. Just like children who imagine things others can't see, they do so because that is what they know, believe, and accept to be true.
We're quick to think kids are lying when they talk about the strange creatures they see, but often, it's just a delusion crafted by their vast imagination. It's no different from certain Otakus suffering from "8th Grade Syndrome," hallucinating about things you'd only ever find in a fantasy novel.
But do you think a 25-year-old Otaku—someone whose youth has long passed, someone who doesn't believe in the magic of "sparks" or "slow-mo" effects—could ever experience that?
Tsk. Maybe that's possible in a romance flick, but in reality, you lose the ability to delude yourself like that because of your boring outlook, your cynicism, and your forced acceptance of how the world actually works.
Boring, isn't it? Sometimes I think it would be better if I didn't know that everything is temporary. Maybe I should have just stayed ignorant so I could actually enjoy life.
But wait, why am I even thinking about this? Why should I care about loving another person when it's so much better to love a 2D character? They never fade, and their love isn't fleeting like the love of real people.
Ah... maybe it's because I'm here at a park with the girl I'm supposed to be dating today. Instead of walking around, we're just sitting here, completely ignoring each other.
While I sit lifelessly moping on a concrete bench, Lea is in front of me, happily lost in a BL manga as if she doesn't have a care in the world. I look around the park and, as expected, it's crawling with couples flirting—some even kissing in plain public view.
"Tsk, disgusting," I whisper to the wind.
I glance back at Lea. She's currently squealing, practically drooling over her manga, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she's reading smut in a public place.
"Tsk, what she's doing is even more disgusting. Was there really no one else available to date?" I mutter.
She notices me staring. She suddenly stands up and shoves the page of her BL manga in my face—a scene where the two male leads are kissing. She approaches me, full of energy.
"Look, hurry! Izumi and Ryouma finally kissed in Love Stage! Kyaaah! Oh my god!" she squeals, blushing hard. "Isn't it heart-pounding?! They're the perfect couple! Read it, Daniel!"
I immediately push the manga away and look around nervously to see if anyone noticed. I'm an Otaku, and I like reading manga too, but not that kind—and I actually know how to behave in public, unlike the fujoshi I'm with.
"Could you please hide that? Someone might see you reading that stuff out here."
"Huh? What's wrong with it? Don't be such a killjoy, you sound just like my older brother," she snaps back.
I stay grumpy, telling her to pack up the things she's scattered across the table. In my head, those things shouldn't be out for the world to see.
"Tsk. I envy you. I wish I could enjoy this date as much as you do," I say, leaning my chin on my hand.
"Huh? No one's stopping you from enjoying the day. Remember, this is our date," Lea replies.
It's easy for her to say that because she isn't the one struggling with our setup. First, there's my family, who already told the entire clan about my "marriage." I think my mom's world would collapse if I told her it's all a lie. I can't take back what's been said.
Second, there's this girl's family—a bunch of brutes who look like they'd bury me alive if I made one tiny mistake with their daughter. I remember being in their living room with her family; everyone was holding a gun. From her father and older brother down to the youngest sibling and even her grandfather—they all looked ready to "liquidate" me while I was being introduced as this fujoshi's fiancé.
"You're being overdramatic," Lea says. "Our marriage isn't that big of a deal. We're doing this for our future as Otakus."
"And you don't have to be scared of Papa and Kuya. They aren't bad people. Just act tough and masculine when you're facing them and you'll be fine," she adds.
Tsk. She makes it sound so easy to act tough in front of her thug-like father and brothers. I don't know, but does she really expect it to be easy for an Otaku who spent over ten years hiding in his room to face aggressive people who could actually hurt him?
"You know, your problem is you overthink. You're too negative about life," she says playfully.
"Okay, tell me then: when do I have time to be positive when nothing happening right now aligns with what I want for my life? I'm an Otaku. On my day off, I should be gaming all day and watching anime until night. But here I am, in the middle of a park full of people flirting. My Otaku lifestyle is being interrupted, and honestly, I don't see how this 'benefits our future' as Otakus."
My frustration shows in my movements, but despite my grumpiness, she doesn't snap back. She calmly tries to soothe me. She sets her book down and speaks to me clearly.
"Don't you notice? You're the one ruining your own day by being so paranoid. I'm an Otaku too. I'd rather be locked in my room with my anime and games, but here I am with you," Lea says.
"It's your fault though," I protest.
"True. And you know what? I could give you a hundred reasons why I don't want to be here with you or marry you either. I can be just as irritated as you are," she adds.
At that point, she starts lecturing me about my warped perspective as if she's some kind of saint. She only says those things because everything is going her way, but she doesn't see how my life is falling apart in the setup she wants.
"How you feel about this depends on how you choose to look at our situation—your own perspective," Lea says. "Tsk. But then again, what can you expect from a loner Otaku like you? Of course you'd see everything in a negative light."
