Chapter 119

“One, Ariel Sinclair,” Ben says, laughing, “if you tried to kill me, I could take you.”

I laugh too, grinning at him.

“And two,” he continues, and my face falls along with his as real sorrow appears in his eyes, “if you’re asking me if I’m jealous of you having two of the most eligible men in the nation so upset that you’re not singularly in love with them that they’re ready to kill each other?” He leans forward, a bit intent, a bit sorrowful. “Yeah, babe. I’m jealous.”

“Oh, Ben,” I murmur, setting my plate of cake aside on the coffee table and leaning forward to him, reaching out. “It will be all right – it will all –“

“It won’t, though, will it?” Ben murmurs, taking my hand and looking down at his knees as he squeezes it, sweet and sorrowful and hopeless. “Not if I…if I want him…”

I squeeze his hand back, not knowing what to say, but the door opens and we both turn to it, both of us sighing to see an exhausted Rafe walk through.

“What is this,” Rafe murmurs, his eyes flicking over my hand held in Ben’s, the half-eaten chocolate cake on the coffee table. Ben and I…we really didn’t go easy on it, did we? “A third mate?”

“If only I were so lucky,” Ben sighs, standing up and then bending over to give me a fond kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you, Benji,” I murmur, looking up at him with true gratitude, not yet letting go of his hand just yet. “For being so nice to me.”

“Anytime, Princess,” he murmurs, patting my cheek and then standing up straight, looking up at Rafe, the man he loves. “I take it my presence is no longer required?”

“Unfortunately for her,” Rafe murmurs, patting Ben on the shoulder with true gratitude, “we need some family time for the next couple of hours.”

“Hours!?” I exclaim, appalled.

“Oh, hours,” Jesse, says, coming silently through the door in a way that would impress an Espionage cadet. “Absolute hours, baby trouble.”

And so Ben makes his way towards the door, preparing to leave us alone.

“Come to breakfast, Ben!” I call after him, knowing that the morning meal will be served in rooms tomorrow instead of the Hall so that we all have time to pack. Neither Rafe or Jesse counter me, but after the door clicks shut, my cousin and my brother level their glares evenly on my face.

And I know that I’m in for it now.

“Oh, sit down, you big idiots,” I grumble, shoving myself into the corner of the couch and making plenty of room for them. “Eat some cake while you yell at me. It’s really good.”

Jesse, taking me very seriously, cuts himself a slice and sits neatly across the couch from me in Luca’s usual spot that Ben just vacated. “And aren’t you interested, young lady? In the status of your mate, after I spend so much time consoling him just now?”

“Of course I’m interested, Jesse,” I bite out, getting angry at him for teasing me when he knows I’m obviously dying to know how he left Jackson. “Don’t mess around with it.”

“And which mate would you like an update on first?” Rafe asks, all innocence, curling his legs beneath him and sitting on the floor next to the couch as he reaches for the cake that Jesse slices, puts on a plate, and holds out to him. On the surface Rafe’s being glib, but beneath…

Beneath it all? I can tell he’s mad. Really, really mad.

I sigh, not answering my brother, knowing that it was a rhetorical question anyway. And also, that they wouldn’t have come back to the room if Luca and Jackson weren’t relatively fine.

“Why didn’t you tell us, Ariel?” Rafe asks, more serious now as he looks down at his plate and shakes his head. “You know we would have supported you –“

“That’s a lie, Rafe,” I snap, a little angry myself now – because it’s not like I did this out of complete selfishness. It’s not like I didn’t have my reasons. “You would immediately have sent me back to the Palace if I told you on the first day that I had two mates in the barracks.”

Rafe looks up at me and turns his head, considering this for a second. “All right,” he says. “Touche, Princess, I absolutely would have. But to let it get to this? To get to here? I mean, fuck, Ariel, you introduced Jackson to our parents as your mate two days ago –“

“Which was not a lie!” I protest.

“You did?” Jesse gasps, leaning forward and staring at me. “Ohhh, Luca’s going to be pissed…”

“I introduced Luca too,” I mutter, glaring at him over my cake. “To mom.”

“Oh, so mom knows!?” Rafe asks, turning wide eyes up at me.

“Yeah, mom knows,” I sigh, listening to their forks placidly scraping their plates. “She’s going to tell dad before we get home.” I hesitate for a second, not knowing whether I should ask. “So, are you guys like…mad at me?”

“Yup,” Jesse answers immediately.

“Ariel,” Rafe sighs, and I turn my eyes to him. “I just spent an hour consoling your devastated mate. Luca is wrecked over this – and I’m not trying to discount Jacksons’ feelings in this, or yours, but fuck, girl –“ he shakes his head. “Seriously? You couldn’t have told us, Jesse and me, so that we could be there for you? Help you figure out how to break it to them? So that we could be prepared for this and not have to shift into our wolves and tear ourselves to pieces to defend you? I mean, Luca is really messed up –“

My lip starts to tremble as I listen, tears again stinging my eyes, but Jesse leans forward.

“Rafe,” he murmurs, glancing between us. “Slow down a little, man. I mean, if we’re aware of what they’re feeling, then she’s aware of it double – she can feel it all down their bonds. And that, on top of her own feelings?” He shakes his head, holding Rafe’s gaze, willing him to listen.

Rafe takes a deep breath and sighs, pushing his cake around on his plate, clearly thinking it through. In the end, though, he looks up at me. “Can you seriously feel everything they feel?”

“Not everything,” I murmur, my voice tight as I look down at my plate. “Not unless the emotion is really intense, or they send it to me deliberately. And not…across great distances. Only when they’re nearby, or in the room. Like I can’t feel them now.”

“Weird,” he murmurs, quietly eating his cake as he puts his thoughts together for a second. Jesse does the same.

After a long moment, Rafe breaks the silence.

“I just wish, Ariel,” he murmurs, truly hurt, “that you’d trusted me enough to let me know. I’d have told you, after all.”

My nose starts to sting at the true sadness and hurt in his voice, and then my throat gets tight. I blink fast, not wanting to cry, because I know that they have every right to be mad at me, but…

Well, the tears start to fall down my cheeks anyway.

“Aw, come on Ari, don’t do that,” Jesse murmurs, leaning forward and putting a warm hand on my knee. “We can’t yell at you if you’re crying, and we’re not anywhere near finished.”

“I know,” I murmur, brushing frustratedly at my cheeks with the side of one hand. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry –“

“No, I’m sorry,” my brother murmurs, setting his plate on the coffee table and getting to his knees as he reaches for me, wrapping his arms around my body and pulling me into his lap. “I’m sorry, sis. I’m fucking livid with you but – god, fuck, I’m sorry you bore this alone. I’m sorry – I wish you’d have let me be there for you.”

I cry harder, letting myself be overwhelmed by my grief and confusion, knowing he’ll see me through it. Knowing he’s strong enough for that.

“Oh, let her go, Rafe,” Jesse murmurs, scootching closer and reaching out to put his his own plate on the coffee table, laying himself down on the couch so that all of our heads are very close together, so that we can talk and hear each other in barely more than a whisper, if we so choose. “We can’t get all the gossip if she’s crying like that.”

“The gossip?” I ask, wiping my away all my tears, kind of appalled.

“Oh, all the gossip,” Jesse murmurs, yawning and turning his head to grin at me. “Jackson’s fine, by the way, thanks to yours truly. Going to show up here to breakfast tomorrow, newly determined to try for your hand. In exchange for your genuine gratitude, my love…I will accept the whole damn story. Right now.”

“Same,” Rafe says, giving me a solemn nod. “Luca’s pissed as hell, and while…well, while he’s not precisely prepared to grovel for you…he’ll be here in the morning. So, madam trouble? The floor is yours.”

And so, with a sigh, I unfold myself from Rafe’s arms and sit on the floor next to him, beginning to tell them the whole story.

“Well,” Rafe says, about an hour later, his eyebrows raised. “Actually, in retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t know any of this. I would much rather have broken up one wolf fight after finals than have had to worry about this the whole term.”

“Such empathy in my big brother,” I say, lowering my eyelids into a half-hearted glare and reaching out my fingertips to give him a shove.

Rafe grins at me, chuckling a little, as Jesse lays on the couch next to us, staring at the ceiling, his head cushioned on a pillow.

“Honestly, Ari,” my cousin says, his voice more thoughtful than it usually is, “laid out like that I’m not sure you could have done it very differently. The only place you really seem to have fucked up was when you didn’t plan this evening – you just let both of them show up here, expecting dinner. It was a powder keg, ready to explode, but the rest of it?” My eyes are wide as I watch him shrug, desperate to know what he’ll say next.