Chapter 186

“Ariel,” Jesse says, tightening the hand on my shoulder as he grins at me. “This isn’t going to wash off like my scent markings in the Academy did. Jackson’s…in your pores now. For a couple of days, every Luna you meet is going to be begging to see your new mark, and every Alpha is going to be giving you some distance, lest Jacks bites his head off.”

Luca just stands, tense, against the bed, his mouth pressed shut and his throat working like he’s fighting strong nausea. But I can’t pay attention now, turning to Jesse, desperate for more information. But Rafe interrupts.

“And dad,” Rafe says, his grin deepening, “is going to flip.”

“What!?” I shriek, totally freaked out now, looking between them and then over at Jacks. “But I! We didn’t! I don’t have his mark! We just…”

I groan, and drop my face into my hands, mortified.

Because Rafe and Jesse are too polite to say it, but what they really mean is that I now smell like Jackson and I were up fucking all night, consummating our mating bond and making it official.

But we weren’t!

“Why does scent marking even exist,” I moan against my palms. “If it does the same thing as giving someone your mark?”

“To claim someone before you mark them,” Rafe says, and I lift my head in time to see him giving a little shrug. “Or to…” he laughs a little here, “claim a second or a third person, as part of your harem, when you’ve already given your mark to someone else. I mean, an antiquated use considering that polygamous relationships aren’t really a thing anymore but,” he shugs, “I can see how it would make sense.”

I groan, tilting my head back, thinking that that hits a little too close to home in this case – and Jesse and Rafe laugh. Gently, not cruel, but seeing the humor in it in a way that I can’t just yet.

“I’m so glad this is all so fucking hilarious to everyone,” Luca snaps, and when I turn my head to him I see his shoulders still trembling slightly as he glares around at each of us in turn. “Now could everyone please fucking leave, so I can have a conversation with my mate about why she left the me at the club early last night, claiming she was tired, only to climb into McClintock’s bed and apparently stay up for hours?”

My mouth drops open in shock at the accusation in that.

But even as it does, my mind turns to my sneaky wolf who pretended to be sleepy last night, who now turns in a guilty circle inside of me, her head hanging low. Instantly, I snap the bond shut to both Luca and Jackson, not wanting them to know her role in this.

But Jackson lifts his eyes to me, and I realize that…I may have been just a little too late on that one.

“Too fucking far, Grant,” Rafe snaps, stepping forward towards Luca and coming immediately to my defense. “You have no idea what happened last night.”

“Clearly,” Luca growls, gesturing towards me and keeping his eyes locked on mine. “I do.”

Jesse stands awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. “It doesn’t look great, Ari,” he murmurs.

And I sigh, and hang my head. “It was…not my intent,” I murmur, trying to walk a fine line here between making Luca feel better an honoring the time I spent with Jackson. Because…I mean, both are important.

“Do you understand how this makes me feel?” Luca says, his voice still snapping with his anger as he steps towards me. He stares at me with such hurt in his eyes, pain all over him, that my lip begins to tremble, my shoulders to slump. “On the biggest night of my life, Ariel – a night when we came together in such an important way? You leave early, to go to bed with him.”

I look up into Luca’s eyes, feeling absolutely terrible, and I opening the bond between us jsut a little so that he can feel it too – feel the truth of it. Because I do understand, now that I see it that way. Yesterday, last night, were so important to Luca – so important for us.

And from his perspective, it kind of looks like I tricked him – like I pretended to be tired, and left early, just so I could climb into Jackson’s bed.

But that’s…that’s not at all what happened.

Luca groans, burying his face against his hands and turning away from me, like he can’t bear to look at me.

“I came home,” I say carefully, my eyes fixed on his back, my voice shaking a little as I try to explain. “And Ben walked me to my room. And before I went in, I decided to…come and check on Jacks. To see how his night went.”

I flick my eyes to Jacks, because that is…an understatement. But he nods to me, letting me know that he understands that I’m walking a fine line.

“That’s it,” I say, finishing up. And Luca turns back to me, glaring a little, seeking more than that – wanting an apology, for me to say that I regret it, that I did him wrong.

But I lift my chin, just slightly, and don’t say anything else. Because I don’t regret it – and I didn’t do anything wrong. I am sorry that I hurt his feelings, and that it came out looking like I betrayed him.

But.

I don’t regret it, and I’m not lying. My wolf’s intentions aside – because those are her own business – I didn’t do anything to betray Luca. Not a damn thing.

Luca studies me for a long moment, still clearly angry and feeling betrayed. Then he takes a single step towards me, looking at me hard. “Did you fuck him last night?”

My mouth drops open as I stare at him, appalled.

The room bursts into noise as Jesse shouts “whoa!” and Rafe storms forward, snapping out Luca’s name. Jackson growls, low and resonant, but he tucks himself against his bedroom wall, his arms crossed, his head down, clearly working very hard to not engage and to let me handle it.

Jesse and Rafe stand steady at my sides, glowering at Luca, but Luca doesn’t look at either of them. He just keeps his eyes fixed on me.

“No, Luca,” I say, crossing my arms and lifting my chin. “I didn’t.”

My wolf nips at me, hard, reminding me that I very much wanted to – and that I would have – and that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to be so high and mighty about this if Jackson had given me what I wanted.

But, well. This just proves that Jackson was right, doesn’t it? It’s better to have waited, instead of having this be the fallout. If I had lost my virginity this morning and had the follow up be this huge fight? It would have ruined it, for sure.

Luca stares at me, hard, for another long moment – and then something snaps in him, and he drops his arms, and drops his head, and stumbles back a step, sitting down hard on the edge of Jackson’s bed, completely defeated.

I let out a little gasp of dismay and feel Jesse and Rafe loosen beside me, no longer angry now that we see how much of Luca’s anger was a front – how much of it was a desperate fear that he’d lost me, that Jackson had marked me, claimed me, and that we were finished.

But now that he sees that…that nothing has changed – not really…

“God damn it,” Luca whispers, his voice trembling. “I…I can’t do this…”

“Luca,” I groan, stepping quickly to his side. He wraps an arm around my hips, leaning his head against me, even as he turns his face away slightly, I think…well, I think still not really able to handle my temporary change in scent.

“I can’t do it, Ariel,” he murmurs, and I raise my hands to his head, cupping it in my palms and holding him close. “If I have to worry about this constantly? About being by your side at every moment, because if I don’t, you’re going to run off to his bed?”

Luca looks up at me now, and the heartbreak in his eyes, on his face…

Tears spring to my eyes and I shake my head at him, feeling absolutely terrible. I never, ever want him to feel this way.

But…

I mean, how do I balance this? How do I do it?

“I thought it was bad, Ariel,” Luca says, his eyebrows going up as he tells me the truth – every bit of it. “When I came in here, and checked your room, and saw that your bed hadn’t even been slept in? Because I knew where you were – knew immediately – but…“

I gape a little down at my mate, realizing that what he’s saying is that…that they’ve actually been out all night, that they’re just getting in now, and that the first thing he did was come to my bed. I glance at the clock, wondering how the hell they’re still up, how on earth they look so sober.

But as I glance over at Jesse, and see him leaning his arm on Rafe’s shoulder, his eyes dropping a little, I see that it was all adrenaline. That they’re exhausted and also a little tipsy.

“Luca,” I murmur, stroking his hair, about to tell him to go get some rest, to go to bed.

“No, let me get this out,” Luca says, frowning up at me. “Ariel – when I came in here, and thought that he’d marked you?” he shakes his head, his face again going pale. “I…I thought I was going to die. Literally…die.”

I clench my teeth, my heart breaking again anew.