Chapter 261

“What’s going on, Daph?” I ask, frowning, genuinely concerned for her. After all, I want my friend to be happy, especially when we discuss her relationship with Rafe.

“To begin,” Daphne says, straightening her shoulders and looking right at me. “Can we pretend, for a little bit, that we’re not talking about your brother? That could get…weird.”

“No problem,” I say, nodding eagerly, understanding as I hold my mug of wine tight in my lap.

“Um,” she says, running a hand through her long auburn curls in what I think is an anxious habit. “Things just have been…progressing, lately. In a way that I’m not sure I’m comfortable with.”

“What like, emotionally?” Ben asks, totally casual, taking another sip of his wine. “Or like…physically?”

“Mostly emotionally,” Daphne answers on a sigh, “but…yeah. Also physically.”

I go a little stiff, not sure if I’m ready to hear the details of this. Daphne glances at me and then laughs, shaking her head, raising her glass to her lips and taking another long sip. I take her point, doing the same, as Ben chuckles at us.

“Look,” Daphne says on a long sigh, smiling at Ben and me. “It’s not like he’s pressuring me to do anything I want to do – we just haven’t had sex, and things are progressing towards it. And I can tell that he’s getting deeper and deeper into his feelings and I’m just…not sure I want to go there.” She gives a little shrug, looking down at the floor, I’m not sure knowing precisely how she feels.

“He really likes you, Daphne,” Ben says gently. “So…if you’re afraid he’s just using you or something, I don’t think that’s the case.”

“No, I believe that,” she says. “Even if…well, if I can’t quite believe that Rafe Sinclair likes me.”

“Oh, that’s nonsense,” I sigh, smacking her on the knee. “You’re amazing!”

“Yeah, but he was like, my preteen crush, Ari,” Daphne says on a laugh, turning her pretty blue eyes up to me. “It’s the sort of thing where you see someone in a magazine, and think they’re so cute, and fall asleep dreaming about what it would be like to meet them. It’s not supposed to become your life but…for me it did.” She gives a little shrug like she can’t believe it.

I nod to her, understanding.

“So, what’s going on?” Ben asks, doing an amazing job of just being chatty and interested even though I feel quite tense and eager to know her answer. “It sounds like you’re holding back.”

“I am,” she says, nodding and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, looking down into her wine glass. “And part of it is…the mate thing. Like, I know he has a mate coming at some point,” she says, looking up at me now, perhaps for confirmation.

I give a little shrug, not denying it, knowing she deserves the truth.

She nods and looks back down at her wine. “So, even if I did let myself go further with him – emotionally – I…know it would be dangerous. Because it has to end some day, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, but that day could be…decades from now,” I says quietly, tilting my head. “This is why mom is angry at dad for telling Rafe he has a mate – she didn’t meet hers until she was in her thirties, and she says her entire life would have been different if she was waiting every day for her mate to come strolling around the corner. She doesn’t want Rafe to hold back on love and experiences just because a mate is coming along. I mean, Cora and Roger knew I was going to have two mates, and yet they still were going to let me marry that jackass I left at the altar.”

Daphne and Ben suddenly grin at me, I think having forgotten all about that.

“Yeah, but it’s different for Daphne,” Ben says, tilting a glass towards her. “She’s not the one who has the mate coming down the line – Rafe is. So, she’d hypothetically be the one left in the dust…right?” he asks, peering at her with interest. “Unless…your baptism indicated…”

“Didn’t have a baptism,” Daphne says, a little hasty, shaking her head. “Mom and dad…they couldn’t afford the donation to the temple when I was born. Mom said diapers were more important.” She grins a little, but I can tell she’s more embarrassed than she lets on about it.

My heart sinks a bit for my friend, because I never want her to be embarrassed about something like that. How much money she grew up with – it’s never mattered to me – to any of us.

“Yeah, I get that,” I say quietly, turning back to Ben’s point and looking between them. “The fear that…you’d get left behind a bit whenever Rafe meets…her. Whoever she is. I can see how that puts a dampener on things.”

We’re all quiet for a moment, especially as Ben and I notice that Daphne’s still looking down at her wine glass and not at us. As the seconds tick by, I straighten again, realizing…

But Ben puts it into words first.

“That’s not the whole story though, is it Daphne?”

She sighs, her voice getting a little creaky with tears. “No,” she croaks out, shaking her head. “No, that’s not all of it.”

“Daph!” I exclaim, instantly scootching closer to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “What’s wrong!? What is it!?”

“I just feel so guilty,” she says, raising her head to look at me, her eyes rimmed with tears, giving a sad little sniff. “I just…I don’t know.”

I quickly reach beyond Daphne to put my wine on a little table and then wrap my arms fully around her, giving her the big hug I think she needs. She laughs a little, hugging me back and putting her head on my shoulder.

“You don’t have to feel guilty, Daphne,” I murmur, hugging her tight and rocking her back and forth a little bit. “Whatever your feeling – guilt shouldn’t be part of it.”

“But I do!” she cries out, laughing a little and – I think – feeling a bit absurd as she straightens up and wipes at her eyes. “I just…I feel so guilty. Here’s this wonderful guy, who is so good looking, and so lovely to me, and who likes me! Like, really likes me!” she laughs, shaking her head. “And I just…I just don’t feel the same way. I thought I did, when it first started? But…I think…I was just caught up in the excitement of it?”

She sighs, looking down at her hands, and I reach out for her, slipping my palm against hers and tightening my fingers.

“I just…don’t feel the way I should about Rafe,” she whispers, I think confessing it for the first time, both aloud and maybe even to herself. “I really, really want to. But I just…don’t.”

Ben and I sit quietly for a moment, just supporting her. I glance over at him and see that his face reflects my own, a mix of love and pity for our friend, who we don’t want to see going through this kind of agony.

“It’s natural, Daph,” Ben says quietly. “That’s what…dating is for. To figure out how you feel about people. And honestly, it’s only supposed to work once – like really work, when you find the one person who’s your match. So, we shouldn’t be as shocked as we are when it turns out the person we’re dating…isn’t the one guy in the world we’re supposed to be with.”

Daphne laughs a little, wiping again at her cheeks, I think coming back to herself. “Yeah, well, I never thought Rafe was the one – I’m not good enough for that –“

“You hold your tongue on that,” I scold, squeezing her hand, a little angry that Daphne would think that way about herself. “You’re magnificent, Daph,” I say, bending down a little so that I can catch her eye, making her look at me and see the honestly in my expression. “Rafe – or any man – would be lucky to have you. I hate that you think about yourself that way.”

“Well, that’s very nice to hear,” Daphne murmurs, a bit chuffed. “Even if it is harder to believe.”

I squeeze her hand again, believing it, trying to put myself in her shoes and see it from her perspective – a poor seamstress, working hard every day to send money home to her mom, dating a prince? God, it sounds like something out of a fairytale.

“So, what are you going to do?” Ben asks, again gentle.

Daphne gives a big shrug. “I have no idea. I haven’t decided.”

“I mean, Daphne,” Ben says, leaning forward a bit, and as he pauses she looks up at him. He screws his mouth to the side, soft but chagrined. “It…kind of sounds like you’ve decided.”