Chapter 372

Jackson’s silence is long. Too long.

I whip my face back to him, my mouth a grim line.

His expression is…carefully blank.

“Oh no,” I whisper, slumping down, my hand whipping up to cover the mark. “You hate it –“

“Ari,” he sighs, scowling and swatting at my forearm, attempting to knock my hand aside. “Don’t do that – I don’t hate it –“

“You do!” I protest, a little more devastated than I thought I’d be, even if I knew this was coming. I mean, he can’t like it, can he?

“I don’t hate it!” Jacks insists, laughing at me a little as I stubbornly keep the mark covered and frown at him, leaning away. “Seriously, Ari, it’s fine.”

“It’s fine?”

He laughs again, giving up the attempt to pull my hand away and leaning back against the pillows. “Do you want me to lie and say I think it’s my new favorite feature?”

I narrow my eyes. “Well then tell me what you really think.”

Slowly I drop my hand and Jackson leans forward a bit to peer again.

“I stand by my words. It’s fine.”

“Jacks!” I groan, lashing out a leg and kicking at him. “You can’t possibly think it’s fine!”

“Yes I can!” he says, laughing and grabbing my leg, using it to haul me closer to him. “Besides, when I was at your place for Midwinter, Seraphina told me –“

“Seraphina!?” I screech, a little shocked. “How the hell did she come into this!?”

“If you’ll listen,” he growls, gathering me further into his lap, even as I go limp in protest to make it hard for him. “I’ll tell you.”

I grumble noncommittally but allow myself to be fully ensconced on his lap and wrapped up in his arms.

“Sera told me,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to my hair. “That if I don’t have anything nice to say…I shouldn’t say anything at all. So. It’s precisely fine. That was very wise, by the way, how did a little girl come up with something like that?”

I laugh a little but then groan at the realization of the truth – that he really doesn’t like it. I mean, not that I expect or want him to like it – I just – I mean – if he hates it, he’s the one who has to look at it every day for the rest of his life.

“Oh no,” I moan, covering it again with my hand. “It’s very ugly.”

“It’s not,” he murmurs, cuddling me closer and dropping kisses to my hair. “It’s simply…not to my taste.”

“That phrase has Ella written all over it,” I grumble.

“Yes, a very useful one for when people try to feed me duck liver,” he murmurs, “or mark my mate with an uneven bite very high on her neck because they’re arrogant and need everyone to see it -“

I burst out laughing and smack Jackson on the shoulder, and then I sigh when I take in the full meaning of his words – that it truly is not to his taste.

But Jackson keeps me tight in his arms. “I’m serious, Ari, you shouldn’t be worried about what I think,” he murmurs. “Feel how you want to feel about it. I think that it is precisely fine.”

I sigh, shaking my head, wondering how he can be so good – so even tempered and sweet despite the Alpha impulses that must be hating, every second, the idea of another man’s mark on my body. Honestly, when the Goddess chose Jacks for me, she must have known what she was doing.

“Plus,” Jacks murmurs. “It helps that it’s faded.”

I go a bit still. “Faded?” I ask, looking up at him.

He frowns down at me and nods. “I guess because of the rejection. Yes, it’s…faded.”

“What?” My face twists in confusion.

“Go look,” he says with a shrug, nodding towards the bathroom. I do as he says, climbing swiftly out of his lap and moving into the bathroom to peer in the mirror. Jackson walks in behind me a moment later, ducking a bit to peer at the mark as well.

My breath catches as I look at it truly for the first time – the indelible impression that Luca left on my body. It really is high, like some Luna’s marks are, meant to be worn proudly for everyone to see. My stomach sinks as I realize that, for me, that’s not precisely the case.

But I push past the thought, leaning close to the mirror, trying to see what Jackson means about it being…faded.

“I don’t get it,” I murmur, glancing up at him, “what’s faded.”

“You can’t see it?” he asks, curious. “Look at the mini mark.”

My frown deepens as I straighten up and glance down at my finger, where Jackson playfully gave me my mini mark on the day I lost my virginity. A day that feels…so, so long ago. But as I stare down at it my mouth forms into a little “o” of surprise.

And then I lift my finger, and hold it close to Luca’s mark for comparison, and see that Jackson’s…right. That it’s quite subtle, but the mini mark is…different. It…shines, almost? Just barely perceptible, an incredibly faint line of silver tracing through it? And Luca’s mark has none of that.

“Oh, that’s really incredible,” I murmur. Then I burst into a smile, looking at the mini mark. “See? I knew the mini mark was real.”

Jackson just laughs and shakes his head, putting his hands on my hips and stepping close, dropping a kiss to my hair. “Not my mark yet, tiny. But…” he hesitates and then drops the point. I lift my eyes and meet his in the mirror, knowing what he’s thinking, because I’m thinking the same.

That he needs to give me his mark. That the Goddess ordered it, and we both know it now. But also that…I am not ready. Not right now – not so close to my last marking which was, at best, traumatic.

And even though I know Jackson would give it to me now if I asked for it…

“I just need a little time?” I whisper.

He nods to me, just once, quite simple. Letting me know that he understands and that the moment I’m ready, he’s here. And not because the Goddess demanded it – because it’s time.

For us, it’s time.

I sigh, leaning back against him, and Jackson wraps his arms fully around me.

“Did my scent change?” I murmur.

He sniffs my hair experimentally, almost performative, because it’s not like he hasn’t been smelling me all night.

“A little,” he murmurs, “though not badly. Honestly, you did smell different when I saw you in the hall – I think your scent…did change. And then when he rejected you it started to revert back – I read that that’s what happens with scents of rejected mates. But it’s almost back to normal now.”

I frown at him in the mirror. “Where on earth did you read that?”

He frowns back at me. “The internet, Ariel. Obviously.”

I burst out laughing and turn towards him, wrapping my hands around his back and grinning up into his face. Jackson smiles down at me like he can’t help it, like looking at my face is the great joy of his life.

I sigh and gaze up at him. “You really think we’re going to be okay?”

“I mean,” Jacks murmurs, stroking his heavy palm over my hair. “I’m not giving you free reign over my heart to go out wantonly taking lovers and getting marks, Ariel.” I smirk at the idea, jokingly turning my head to the side and considering it, making him laugh. “But do I think we’re going to be okay? Yes. Of course I do.”

“How did I get so lucky?” I rest my chin on his chest, gazing up at him with all of my love shining in my eyes.

“Nah, that’s my line,” Jacks murmurs. And then he dips his head, and presses his first gentle kiss to my lips, quite simple and full of love. I stand on my toes and kiss him back, grateful for him, for his kind heart, his enduring nature, not entirely sure if I deserve him.

But even if I don’t, I’m going to take this gift the universe has given and run with it. Because I know what I’ve got – and I’m never, ever giving it up.

Jackson breaks the kiss for both of us, tucking away any physical desires that that’s stirring in him for my sake, knowing that I’m not ready for that just yet. But that at some point I will be.

“So.” He clears his throat, looking away for a second as he works to control himself. I grin up at him, watching his face. “Wanna get some breakfast in the hall with everyone else?”

“Yeah,” I say, still smiling softly as he turns his eyes back to me. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

Then I shriek with laughter as Jacks grabs me and tosses me over his shoulder, carrying me back into the room. “All right! Then let’s get going, tiny! I’m starving!”

“What?” I gasp, and then my eyes flare wide when I realize that the only thing I’ve seen Jackson eat was a couple of bites of cake last night from my fork when I offered them to him. “Jackson – when’s the last time you ate!?”

“Four days ago!”

“Jacks!” I gasp, my eyes wide. But then, before I can truly begin to smack at him, Jackson tosses me onto the bed and strides for the dresser where we keep our clothes.

“Let’s go!” He barks out, cheerful, tossing one of my uniforms at me. “I want some eggs! And toast! Jam – sausage – biscuits! I’m going to put bacon inside the pancakes and -”

The list goes on as the two of us get changed.

And as long as Jackson rambles on about all the breakfast food he’s going to devour, I don’t stop smiling once.