Chapter 460

“Ariel!” Jackson sputters, “fucking – no! I am not breaking up with you – I’m saying that if you don’t to be with me I would understand – that it would break my fucking heart but this is not your responsibility –“

I cry out in protest, grabbing him closer to me, whipping an arm around his neck and clinging to him. “No!” I snarl, desperate and afraid at even the thought of this. “You’re – you’re fucking mine, Jackson! Mine! I’m never letting you go, you idiot, you –“

He clings to me too, holding me so close I can barely breathe, and I realize quite suddenly that we’re both just afraid right now. Afraid that this big change – this development – this Marigold – is going to push us away from each other. I take long deep breaths, forcing my mind to slow. My wolf turns over in my soul, baring her belly to Jackson’s wolf, submitting to him entirely, letting him know that she’s his –

His completely, forever.

Jackson’s wolf just flops down next to her on the ground, letting out a long sigh and stretching his nose over her neck, resting his face against her. He lets out a long, wolfish grumble and my wolf whines and turns to him. Both rest then, tension leaving them alongside our fear.

“Hey,” I say, a bit shaky, releasing my hold on Jacks a bit, grimacing when I realize that my claws came out a bit and poked holes in his shirt. He takes a deep breath and leans his forehead against mine. “We’re – I think we’re both just really freaked out, right?”

“Yeah,” he says on the exhale. “Fair to say that I am…completely freaked out.”

“But we’re in this together,” I whisper, nodding, believing it utterly. “I don’t know…what that looks like, or what shape this takes but, you and me?” I say, nudging my nose with his, making him look at me, making him see the dedication in every inch of me. “Together.”

“Are you sure?” Jackson whispers.

“I’m sure,” I murmur, pulling back a little so I can study his face, my eyes moving slowly over every single beloved feature. “You’re…um. You’re keeping her? You’re going to raise her?”

Jackson holds my gaze and slowly nods. “She’s mine, Ariel.”

“Okay,” I say, nodding, my heart beginning to pound a little frantically. “Then…yeah, if that’s what you’re doing, then that’s what I’m doing. I’m on board, Jacks.”

“Ariel, I –“ he sputters, I think deeply shaken by the steadiness in me, in my offer. “This is a huge ask, Ariel – a child, my child – this is going to change everything in my life –“

“In our lives,” I growl, possessive and sure. “What twists life brings to you it brings to me too, Jackson – that’s what I want. I want to do this together. Unless…you don’t want...that?”

I mean, is that even a possibility? That Jackson wants his daughter all to himself? That he wouldn’t want me involved?

“No, I want you involved,” he whispers, nodding, holding my gaze, sensing my thoughts that are so vividly tied to my emotions right now. “But…your life is your own, Ariel. You didn’t make any choices that lead to this –“

“Neither did you!”

“I did,” Jackson says, a bit of a growl in his voice. “Even if I didn’t know…what would happen, when I…with Tasha…”

My wolf growls a little at the mention of their time together and I swat a mental hand at her even as Jackson’s wolf snuggles closer in support.

Still, Jackson continues, shaking his head. “I’m not turning away from this. I am shocked – and I don’t know what’s going to happen – but that’s my daughter. And I’m not going to walk away from her. Ever.”

“You’re a good man, Jacks,” I whisper, lifting a hand to stroke over his cheek.

“But this responsibility isn’t yours,” he whispers, shaking his head. “Unless…you wanted it to be. And really, really wanted it to be.”

“I want it to be,” I whisper, even if inside I have doubts. Doubts about what it’s going to be like to raise a child at Jackson’s side, how I’m going to deal with the jealousy, whether it’s best for her, how it’s going to change our lives…

But I mean, are they even doubts? Or do I just not have answers? Because maybe…maybe there are answers to these questions. And maybe those answers aren’t bad ones.

Maybe this is a good thing.

Babies – little girls – little girls who look like Jacks –

They have to be a blessing, right?

“I want it to be my responsibility,” I whisper again, surer this time – surer that it’s not just wanting to support Jacks. That this, really, is something I can begin to commit to. That I’m strong enough to stand and help my mate as well as this little girl.

“You’re far too kind to me, Ariel,” Jackson whispers, his throat tight.

“No, I’m not,” I sigh, slumping against him as his wolf curls up around mine, giving her a long lick on her cheek and then resting his nose again over her neck. “I’m sorry I wasn’t nice and yelled. I think I freaked her out.”

“You were freaked out,” Jackson murmurs. “It was a natural response.”

I nod, thinking he’s the one being too kind, but I look towards the door with a sigh. “Come on,” I say, unfolding myself from his lap.

“Where are we going?” he asks, standing up, looking down at me curiously.

“Upstairs,” I say, taking his hand, giving it a squeeze, suddenly a bit terrified. “I want to meet your kid.”

He groans, letting his head tilt back on his neck. “I can’t believe that’s a real sentence,” he murmurs. “I can’t believe I have a kid.”

“Same,” I say, giving him a tug towards me. Jackson wraps an arm around my waist and looks quite seriously down at my face. I smile, loving him a great deal, sure in us even if…well, even if the rest of the world just completely fell apart. “Come on,” I whisper. “If we don’t go now mom will take her shopping. And then we’ll lose her in a sea of toys and kid clothes and you may never see her again.”

Jackson huffs out a laugh but follows me out of the kitchen, rubbing his hand through his hair as we go, still looking a bit dazed.

Jackson and I are quiet and steady as we walk upstairs towards our family suite, where I somehow just know mom and Rafe and Mark and Marigold went. Jackson holds my hand firm in his own and I squeeze his back, both of us passing devotion down the bond even if its tinged with trepidation and a bit of fear.

Because both of our lives just completely blew up and we have no idea what’s going to happen next, even if we know we’re going to face it together.

I exhale slowly as we enter the Royal suite, the living room of which is empty, and head down the hall towards where a little light is peeking out of my room, alongside some voices.

Honestly…how did so much of my life change in an hour?

I’m still reeling even as I push open the door and smile to see my mom and Rafe sitting on the floor with Marigold between them, propped up on the little child-sized futon mattress that Seraphina likes to use when she sleeps over here. Jesse smiles at me from his place stretched over my bed – doing absolutely nothing to help, I note – while Mark peeks out of my gigantic closet, a little girl’s dress half-folded in his hand.

“Hey,” mom says, beaming over at us, closing the half-read picture book that she’s got in her hands.

Rafe sits up, setting Marigold’s little cup of water aside.

Marigold fastens her eyes on us, brightening when she sees that it’s Jackson, mostly ignoring me.

But Jackson squeezes my hand and I feel a great deal of intense emotion move through him at the sight of his little girl. And I can’t help the tears that spring to my eyes – tears that come from…so many emotions.

Happiness, to see the beautiful connection already starting to form between them. And jealousy – as much as I hate it, I have to admit that it’s there. Jealousy that she’s not mine, jealousy that…that I’m not his whole world anymore. And confusion at all this sudden change in our lives –

But mostly, suddenly, overwhelmingly…hope.

Hope that I – that we – can do something to help this little girl have a good life. This little girl who is so…so fucking frail. She’s not a small creature by any means – she’s Jackson’s kid, after all – she has none of the tiny bird-boned loveliness of Rosie or Seraphina.

But god, she’s just so thin –

Like Midnight – like she’s never had a proper meal in her life –

My heart instantly reaches out to Marigold and I find myself moving, crossing the room, ignoring everyone else and going to sit at the bottom edge of her little makeshift bed, swallowing over the lump in my throat a I glance down at her little bitty feet – covered in a blanket patterned in flowers and stars –

I lean forward, pressing a hand to my heart, my chest, and smile at her.

“Hi,” I say, my voice shakier than I’d like it to be. “My name is Ariel. It’s so, so nice to meet you.”