Chapter 465

“Whoa,” Jesse says, starting back from the door a bit as he peers into the room. “Should I…go?”

“Jesse,” Marigold whispers, peering over Jackson’s arm, her eyes locking on my cousin. Jesse beams at the little girl, I think quite pleased that she remembers his name.

“Who…” Jackson says on a sigh, loosening his hold as he realizes that it’s not some great threat, just another branch of the Sinclair family. “Did you bring…?”

“Not the whole pack,” Jesse says, glancing over his shoulder. “Just mom and dad and Seraphina.”

Jackson sighs, looking down at the top of Marigold’s head, clearly at war with himself.

“What are your hesitations, Jacks?” mom asks, stepping closer to us, tucking her hands behind her back. “Please, you’re in charge here, but…I think people are just excited to meet her.”

“She’s not used to a lot, Ella,” Jackson murmurs, settling Marigold into his lap. “The flashes that I’m getting from her of her life – it was very basic. She didn’t even have running water. And she didn’t really know any other kids. I remember what it was like coming here to the capital for the first time, and how stressful it was, and confusing and overwhelming. I just…don’t want her to be freaked out. Slow and steady is…better”

Jackson strokes his hand over Marigold’s hair. I smile as I watch him, shocked to see him so…fond of her, so paternal, so protective in less than twenty-four hours.

Wow. This wolf dad stuff must really run deep.

Or maybe just in guys like Jacks.

“We can go if you want, Jacks,” Jesse says, stepping just barely over the threshold and glancing back over his shoulder. “I totally get it. But Seraphina did bring Marigold a present, and if she doesn’t get to give it, she’ll…probably flip out. So would you mind, if maybe she came in for just a second?”

Jackson narrows his eyes. Marigold watches everyone very carefully, her eyes snapping from face to face, taking everything in.

“What kind of present?” Jackson asks.

Jesse smiles softly, incredibly fond of our family’s baby, and pushes the door open a little bit to show Seraphina standing there with a little bouquet of flowers that she clearly picked herself. Weeds, mostly – early dandelions, and chickweed, and clover – all tied together with a wide purple ribbon.

“Just something small,” Jesse says, looking down at his smallest sister with a great deal of love.

All of our hearts just break with a nearly audible snap as a huge smile spreads over Seraphina’s face. She hesitates, looking up at Jesse, not sure if she can come in.

“Oh god,” Jackson says, giving in like the rest of us and smiling at Sera. “Come on in, Fifs. Of course, come in.”

The smallest Sinclair’s face bursts into a grin as she dashes across the room to us. Jackson nods to Jesse and Cora and Roger too, letting them know that he’s fine with them as well, though I can feel his anxiety about such a full room – more people than Marigold’s ever socialized with together at once, probably.

But it doesn’t seem to affect Marigold at all. Instead, she looks with big wide eyes at Seraphina as she dashes over.

“Hi, my name is Seraphina Liliana Sinclair,” Sera says, so quick all the words blend together as she sticks her arm out straight towards Marigold, offering the bouquet. “Mom says you’re just my age. I’m four.”

“I’m four,” Marigold says, nodding too, a little smile spreading across her mouth.

“I brought this for you,” Seraphina says, stepping forward further, still holding it out.

Marigold just stares at the flowers, unsure what to do. “What is it?”

“I don’t know. Flowers. You can have them. I found them in the back yard and I picked them for you.”

“Thank you,” Marigold whispers, taking the flowers and holding them awkwardly in her hand. I smile softly, looking a bit breathlessly between the girls, wondering what the hell is going to happen next.

The two just stare at each other for a long moment before Seraphina cocks her head to the side. “Wanna play?”

Jackson tenses. “I’m not sure I –“

But Seraphina bursts out into a giggle and shifts in a flash into her puppy form, stretching her front paws out in front of her in a clear invitation to play before darting off behind the couch. Marigold gasps and drops her flowers, a huge smile breaking across her face before she shifts too, scrambling out of Jackson’s lap in her puppy form to chase Sera.

“Wait!” Jackson calls, fear clear in his voice. “I –“

“Jacks,” I murmur, putting a hand on his knee. “Seraphina is a good kid – she knows how to play.” I bite my lip, not wanting to push too far. He’s her dad, after all. “You can’t control everything and…maybe it will do her some good, to have some fun. Get sleepy so she goes down for a nap.”

He turns his head back to me. “They nap?”

My mouth spreads into a grin. “At four? Kind of a lot.”

“Oh god,” he groans, putting his head again in his hands. “I don’t – I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m trying to do it all right – I just…have no idea what’s going on…”

“You sound just right for a new dad,” Roger says, wandering over with Cora at his side, both of them smiling lovingly down at my big, confused Alpha mate. “We pretty much lived in that state of anxiety and unknowing for the first eight years of Jesse’s existence.”

“And I’m great!” Jesse calls from the breakfast buffet, where he loads up a plate.

Jackson hesitates, studying Jesse, clearly wondering if it was the best choice.

Cora and Roger burst out laughing, and I do too, and then Jackson does and the room rings with it. I scootch closer to Jackson’s side, looping my arm in his and leaning against him. “It’s gonna be fine, Jacks,” I whisper. “This is her family. Kind of a crash course in it, yes but…she’s going to have to get used to us sometime.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Jackson murmurs, looking over to where Seraphina really is playing quite gently with Marigold – much more gently than she does with her other siblings, who she bites and tackles with glee. But the light in Marigold’s little brown puppy eyes that shine so bright against her wolf’s dark fur – god, she just looks so incredibly happy that my eyes fill with tears.

“Looks like breakfast cocktails are in order,” Roger says, giving us both a wink and then starting over for the bar cart.

“What?” I ask, wiping at my eyes.

But I understand more completely when I look over at Jackson and see his eyes filled with tears too as he watches his little girl play with her new cousin. As he realizes that unlike him, she’s going to grow up with a family.

And a really, really good one at that.

I lean close against my mate and pass a great deal of love down our bond.

Jacks leans against me too and sends it right back.

Sensing that it will put Jackson most at ease, my family is uncharacteristically calm and subdued for the rest of the day. Roger pours Jackson a big glass of whiskey that he nurses, his eyes constantly moving back to Marigold. As the hours pass each of the adults in our family spends a little one-on-one time with Jacks, chuffing him up and ensuring him that he can do this.

Rafe, Mark, and Jesse each take turns playing with the girls, little games that leave the pair shouting with laughter and joy. At some points I even hear Marigold chattering with her new friend, talking on and on in her excitement, belying her first impression as a quiet and subdued child.

But even as they have fun, I keep myself stuck to Jackson’s side, knowing that Marigold is in good hands and that Jackson needs me more right now. Because even as he starts to settle into his new role as father – more aligned with dad and Roger now than Jesse and Rafe – I can still feel the confusion, and anxiety, and quite a bit of fear roiling within him.

So, I just stay quietly at his side, passing him counter emotions as much as I can down the bond. Not telling him that he’s wrong just…providing encouragement and perspective. Letting him know that we’re safe. That it’s good. That it’s all going to be all right.

By the time the girls fade a bit, ready for their afternoon nap, and Cora and mom take them into mom’s bedroom to lay down and sleep for a bit, I sense that Jackson’s a bit ready for a nap too. His anxiety about the nap ran high for a moment until Cora introduced him to the concept of a baby monitor, after which I saw his shoulders slump visibly with relief. Saw, indeed, a great deal of exhaustion come over his face.

“You okay?” I whisper, leaning against Jacks, smiling up into his face.

“Oh, I guess so,” he says, glancing down at the monitor and accepting a fresh drink from Roger, taking an eager sip and welcoming the relaxation it promises. Then he smiles at me and nods over to the couches where everyone is sitting, and we go over to join.

We’re just sitting down and settling in when another knock comes at the door.