Chapter 495

I exhale slowly, my fingers twisting in my wolf’s fur as I look over at Jesse, standing next to me, his wolf at his side.

“This is weird, cousin,” he says with a little grimace. “Welcome…to my soul.”

“It’s nice here,” I say, nodding, looking around at the mostly-blank space that looks precisely like my own. “I like what you’ve done with the place.”

He smirks and nods his head to the left, silently asking me to follow. I do, and it’s not a long walk before we reach the dark space where his soul ends. Across the darkness, though, I can easily see a too-familiar sight.

“Oh, heavens,” I say, putting my hands on my knees and peering forward, my eyes fastened on the little dark wolf, sunk deep into the oil, just her eyes and nose and points of her ears truly visible above it. My wolf howls at the sight of her, desperately worried. “Jesse,” I say quietly, glancing up at him, “this is…very bad. Much worse than Gabriel.”

“Well, I think she’s been corrupted since she was a kid,” Jesse says on a sigh, crossing his arms and looking very worriedly over at his mate’s wolf. “It makes sense that it would be worse. But this is…even worse than it was before. Darkness is pulling her further in, perhaps? Maybe even as revenge.”

“Jess, I think…I think Midnight has to take action,” I say quietly, grief and worry twisting in me as I straighten. “I don’t think she’s going to survive like this. At least, not for long.”

He sighs, dipping his face into his hand, obviously agonized by that insight. “Okay. Yes, we’ll…we’ll try to persuade her that it’s important.”

“Where is she?” I ask, looking around for her.

“Well, she can’t come here,” he snaps, his temper a bit short in his worry. “We don’t have a bond.” His wolf pants with worry, shifting from foot to foot, his eyes fastened on the little she-wolf in her oily bog. Midnight’s wolf snarls and then chokes on the oil that floods her mouth. Jesse’s wolf yips, starting forward, dancing at the edge of his soul, clearly wanting to go to her.

“All right, Jess,” I say quietly, reaching out and slipping my arm around his. “Why don’t you just…call for her?”

He does as instructed, cupping his hands to his mouth and shouting “Oye! Mids! Get your ass down here!”

I press my lips together, trying to hold back my smile.

She appears a moment later on her wolf’s side of the soul, her hands on her hips, glaring at her mate. “What!?”

“We’re trying to do something to help you here, Midnight,” Jesse says, exasperated, gesturing at her wolf. “The least you can do is show up.”

She glares at him and then down at her wolf. “Yeah, but I don’t like coming here. It’s gross.”

He just stares at her, aghast, a frustrated huff of air puffing from his lips.

“Darkness said it was important to stay clean,” Midnight says, crossing her arms primly across her chest and shaking back her hair.

“Which you would think would extend to your soul,” Jesse snarls.

I interrupt, pitching my voice louder. “Mids,” I call out, giving her a cheerful smile. “I was going to light my Goddess fire – just here on this side – and experiment to see if you could feel it. Would that be okay?”

“Um,” she says, her toes turning inward as anxiety starts to rush through her. “I…I guess. But don’t bring it over here, okay?”

“You’re in charge, Mids,” I say, nodding seriously and un-looping my arm from Jesse’s, starting to call up the magic. “Whenever you say stop, we stop.”

She glances down at her wolf, which continues to snarl at us, its livid red eyes fixed on Jesse’s wolf. But then Midnight gulps and nods and I exhale, letting the blue flames form in my palms.

I let the fire grow and grow, sending it out into the air when it gets too big to hold. Jesse takes a step back as it grows as big as a person, then as big as a wolf, then larger. I glance at him. “You good?”

“Yeah,” he says, a bit mesmerized, his eyes fasted to the huge blue ball of fire. “Just…impressed. And it’s very warm, isn’t it?”

I grin at him and then exhale slowly, returning my eyes to the flame and pushing it – just slightly – out into the darkness between Jesse’s soul and Midnight’s. I watch through the flames as Midnight’s eyes go wide, as she cringes away from it, clearly afraid of what will happen if it comes too close.

But her wolf goes still.

And then the wolf blinks, the manic light fading from her eyes.

And then she moans, reaching her snout out as far as she can, her ears pinning back to her head. The little wolf reaches, pushing hard through the muck, trying to get closer.

Midnight cries out and Jesse stumbles forward. “Are you okay!?” he calls, worried.

Midnight’s wolf gives a little howl, surging forward as best she can, reaching – reaching so hard towards the blue light and the warmth it provides. A pitiful little moan breaks from my own mouth as I push the fire further, wanting to give it to her, wanting her to have as much as she wants and needs.

Midnight bursts into tears, looking down at her wolf, her entire body starting to tremble. “I – I didn’t know,” she whispers, starting to shake her head.

“Mids,” Jesse calls, his voice breaking, kneeling down at the edge of his soul and reaching for her. “Midnight, please, are you okay?”

She just continues to cry, her face tucked into her hands, her shoulders shaking.

I push my fire a little further as the wolf gets to the edge of her gigantic pit, her snout stretched out as far as it can go, and my heart sings when I see just the barest edge of oil burn away from her snout, revealing –

My eyes go wide when I see that the fur beneath is a creamy white. I groan again, pushing the fire further, and Midnight’s wolf gives a pitiful little howl, shutting her eyes, letting the warmth rush over her. More oil peels back, revealing more plush white fur along the length of her snout, the tips of her ears…

“Stop!” Midnight cries out. My eyes flash to her as she drops her hands from her face and begins to shake her head, vehement. “Please, stop – I can’t – I can’t – I’ll lose everything.”

I pull my fire back, as I promised, but keep it burning.

Midnight’s wolf whips her face to Midnight, a sorrowful, plaintive little howl slipping from her lips. Midnight looks down at her wolf and shakes her head again, apology everywhere alongside her fear.

“Midnight,” Jesse says, the single word a plea, begging for her to continue.

But she just continues to shake her head, looking down at her wolf. “I can’t,” she whispers.

Jesse looks up at me, desperate for me to continue, not knowing what to do.

“Jess,” I say, pulling the fire back so that it becomes a ball in my hands. “I – I don’t even know how much I could do from this distance – I can only get so close…”

He groans, knotting his fingers in his hair and pressing his eyes shut.

“I – I’m going back,” Midnight says, her voice creaking. I turn my head to her just in time to see her vanish. Her wolf gives a terrible little howl, sinking back into the depths, scrabbling to find her footing and keep her fresh, clean fur out of the muck in a way that just breaks my heart in half.

“Come on,” Jesse grumbles, standing and reaching for me. “I – I don’t want to leave her alone.”

With a last plaintive look back at the wolf, I take his hand and we return to the real world.

Midnight cries her eyes out, terror sweeping through her. Jesse moves closer on the bed, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close through her pain and her grief, her worry and confusion. Ariel moves close as well, taking Midnight’s hand, squeezing it and whispering warm and comforting things.

As the minutes pass Midnight calms, her mind coming back to her. Eventually she finds the strength to give one last big sniff and then looks up at her mate and her friend.

“Are you okay, baby?” Ariel whispers, leaning close and stroking a hand over her hair. Midnight can’t help but lean into the caress. “I’m so sorry. Did it hurt?”

Midnight doesn’t say anything because the truth is that she’s just being a big coward. It didn’t hurt at all – it felt wonderful. Warm – warm. Her…her wolf didn’t even know that she could be warm…

But the idea of losing all of her powers, all her magic…

“It’s okay, kid,” Jesse murmurs, pressing a kiss to her hair. “You’re allowed to be scared. It’s okay.”

She sniffs again, leaning against him, trying to put her mind and her thoughts and her heart together. Her wolf howls in her soul, begging for the warmth to come back, but Midnight slams the door on her noise – as she so often does.

But then guilt rushes through her, because she knows it’s wrong. Her wolf. Her poor wolf. Slowly, she opens the door again and lets her wolf’s howls echo through her soul, finally listening to what she wants and needs.

It is…just unbearably sad.

“Can I go to bed?” Midnight whispers, closing her eyes and tucking her cheek close to Jesse’s chest. “Please? I am so tired. Can I go to bed?”

“Of course,” Jesse murmurs. He sends an anxious glance Ariel’s way, but she just shrugs, implying that she doesn’t know what else to do. It’s still, in the end, all Midnight’s choice. It has to be. “Come on, kiddo. Let’s get you to bed.”

He wraps his arm tight around Midnight’s back, and then slips another beneath her knees, and lifts her easily from the bed. After all, she’s still – in so many ways – just a malnourished girl who has only recently begun to learn to accept love, and care, and kindness. She sniffs softly in his arms, clearly overwhelmed.

“I’ll come see you in the morning,” Ariel whispers.

Jesse nods to his cousin and gives her as much of a smile as he can before he moves to the door, wondering how the hell he’s going to convince this precious little creature to free herself from the darkness that’s killing her.