Chapter 499

“I’m saying,” Midnight says, freely crying now, cupping Jesse’s face in her tiny hands. “That I – I don’t want to have your pups, Jesse. Ever. Ever. I don’t want them.” She shakes her head, vehement. “I think I’d be a bad mom. I’d leave them at the grocery store and forget they were there. I – I just don’t want it.”

He swallows hard, listening as she spills out her truth.

“And I don’t want to kiss you,” she continues, her little chin shaking as she stares up at him with her wide dark eyes. “And it’s not that you’re not handsome –“

He smirks a little at this, making her laugh. She smacks his cheek lightly with her palm. “You stop that, I’m being serious here –“

He does his best not to smile and nods, letting her know he’s listening, intently. To all of it.

“Jesse,” she says, sighing hard, her shoulders slumping. “I don’t want to be your mate. I don’t want to do the romantic stuff. I love you so, so much but…all of that?” she says, tossing out a hand to encompass the whole world. “I want that more. I want to be free. I don’t want to be tied.”

“I would never try to tie you, Mids,” Jesse says, lifting a hand to stroke over her hair. “Being a mate – it’s not like that –“

“I know,” she whispers. “But I just…I waited my whole life to find you. And I wish…” her voice breaks now as she hangs her head, shaking it. “I wish I’d had a choice. I wish I’d had more freedom. I wish I’d had…more. And now I’ve got it – I’ve got everything at my feet – all the world, all the possibilities. And I want…that.”

“Mids,” Jesse says, his voice breaking with his heart. She lifts her head and cries harder when she sees him crying too. “You might…you might change your mind. You might not always feel this way.”

“I don’t want to ask you to wait for me,” she whispers. “And I don’t want to live my life by ‘maybes’ and ‘somedays’ anymore. I want…just me, in charge of me, making whatever weird choices I want, without worrying about who they affect and who wants me to choose what. I never got to choose. I want to choose. That’s…that’s what I want.”

A sob breaks from Jesse as he wraps his arms fully around his tiny mate, pulling her close. She slings her arms around his neck and presses her face into his shoulder, crying hard. They hold each other that way for a long time.

“I don’t want to lose you, Mids,” Jesse whispers, his whole body shaking. “You’re…so incredibly important to me.”

“You’re not losing me,” she whispers. “I’ll still be family. Right? Would that be okay? I can be family just…not a mate?”

“Of course,” he says, tightening his arms, terrified at the thought that she wouldn’t be. “Midnight Sinclair. I think…it has a nice ring to it. Family.”

Her face bursts into a wide smile, even pressed to his chest. “Yeah, I think I like that,” she whispers, nodding.

Jesse pulls back a little, taking a deep breath, looking his strange, wonderful little mate in the eyes, smoothing a hand over her hair. “If you’ve thought about it, Midnight. And it’s what you really want. Then…I accept it. Whatever you need.”

“Okay,” she whispers, smiling at him through her tears. Just the most…lovely, rich, warm smile. “Then…I reject you, Jesse Sinclair. I love you, but I reject you.”

He stills for a moment and then moans moans, falling forward against her as his wolf howls long and low. Midnight’s teeth howls in return before bringing her teeth to their bond and beginning to tear it away. Jesse and Midnight both sob, their bodies shaking in physical pain, their emotions raw and ragged.

“Please,” he whispers, his eyes pressed tight shut, groaning against the agony. “Just…leave a little, at the end, all right? So we’ll always have a connection. I can’t – I can’t bear to not have a piece of you –“

She nods, not saying anything, biting her lip. Her wolf obeys, leaving just a thread of connection at the end – strong and bright and pretty, even as the rest of the bond falls away.

And then it’s done.

Jesse groans, letting her go and falling back onto the roof tiles, pressing his hands to his eyes, panting, tears slipping from beneath his palms.

“I love you, Jesse,” Midnight whispers, watching him, her little mouth trembling, her entire body feeling weak.

“I love you too, Mids,” he replies. “Always.”

She nods once. And then disappears.

Midnight fights hard against her emotions as she flits through the castle, moving back and forth between the Land of Darkness and the halls, using her shadows to disguise her progress. She barely concentrates on the push and the pull of the magic, so instinctual is it to her. Instead, her emotions are almost fully drawn to her sweet wolf, who howls so miserably in her soul.

“I know, pup,” Midnight says aloud, sniffing hard. “We’ll go lay down soon. Just…one more thing.”

She appears outside the door she’s looking for, low and deep in the castle, and then takes one last breath, flitting to Darkness and then stepping forward so she can appear in the seamstress’s room.

Daphne shrieks when the demon appears. She skitters back and falls out of the little chair in front of the sewing table.

“Well, that’s a little dramatic,” Midnight says, frowning.

Daphne just pants, scuttling backwards like a crab, pressing herself up against the bed. Midnight sighs and rolls her eyes a little, deeply unsure as to why Jesse likes this one so much.

“Look, your boyfriend is on the roof and he’s all sad,” Midnight says, crossing her arms and looking up at the ceiling. She swallows hard, doing her best to appear very brash and tough so the girl won’t see that she’s been crying. “Also, I’m sorry I called you a whore. I’ve been assured that you’re…very nice. I hope we can be friends and that you’ll make me lots of uniforms.”

Daphne just continues to heave ragged breaths, staring terrified at the demon in her room.

“Okay well, I’m going to go,” Midnight says, pointing over her shoulder at the door. “But I rejected him, so he’s really upset. You should probably go to him to make sure he doesn’t throw himself off the roof or something.”

“What!?” the girl sputters, staring at Midnight like she’s the insane one now.

“I am very busy, I have to go learn Chemistree,” Midnight says, turning before she starts crying again. “Go find your boy!” She vanishes and starts off into the night, wanting very much to go to her bed and starting the long process of putting back together the shattered pieces of her soul.

Daphne continues to pant for a moment, staring at the empty space on the floor where the demon-girl stood just a moment ago, wondering if…if she just imagined it. But then she gasps as her mind gets over its terror and finally processes what the girl just told her.

“Shit,” Daphne whispers, pushing herself to her feet and stumbling to the door, yanking it open and dashing down the hall.

Ten long minutes later, she pushes open the window at the top of the library and scrambles out of it, gasping in fear.

Jesse sniffs hard and turns his head towards the noise, going still when he sees her kneeling there, gasping for air, her hands pressed flat against the tiles. “Daph?”

“She –“ Daphne says, staring at him, aghast and completely out of breath. “She – she said you were going to jump off the roof –“

“What?” Jesse asks, starting to sit up. But then he groans, the physical pain of rejection radiating through him. “Oh, geeze.”

“Jesse!” Daphne cries, crawling over to him. “Are you okay!?”

He sighs, closing his eyes and wiping at the tears on his cheeks, not wanting her to see them. “I’m all good.”

She snarls and smacks him on the shoulder.

He laughs and turns his head to her, giving her that dashing smile.

“You are not,” Daphne growls, glaring at him. “Are you going to jump off the roof?”

“No, Daphne, I’m not going to jump off the roof,” Jesse says, sighing and shaking his head, letting his eyes fall shut again. “But thank you for coming to stop me, if you thought I was going to. Means a lot.”

She groans this time, collapsing to the tiles next to him, letting her own eyes fall shut. “I’m not athletic enough for this kind of panic.”

“That’s okay,” Jesse murmurs. “You have other charms.”

She laughs a little and shakes her head, relief running through her, her wolf howling with happiness that he’s safe and okay.

“Will you sit here with me?” Jesse asks softly. “Just…just until I can walk again?”

“Sure,” Daphne says.

He smiles and reaches out, slipping his hand over hers.

She goes still for a moment and then laces her fingers with his, squeezes his hand. “We’re not dating or anything,” she snaps. “Just…because you got all rejected and stuff. I didn’t come running up here just because you’re single – I thought you were going to die –“

“Sure, you didn’t,” Jesse says, dry, nodding slowly, a smile curling his lips.

She laughs a little, turning her head to look at his profile in the starlight. “I mean it, Jess. I…stand by everything I said before.”

“Okay, Daphne.” Jesse says quietly. “I believe you. Let’s just…see how it goes.”

She nods, even though he doesn’t see it, and then turns her face up to the night sky.

They lay there for a long time.

Neither drops the other’s hand.

“Midnight?” I call, seeing the little figure crossing the grass, dragging her feet and looking down. I frown, standing from my place at Jackson’s side on the little wicker loveseat that mom got us for our front porch.

Jackson looks up too, curious, and even Marigold lifts her head from her collection of toys on the front porch, a little stuffed tiger taking pride of place in her lap.

“Hi,” Midnight calls, climbing up our front steps, looking a little wobbly. “Um, I rejected Jesse.”

“What!?” I breathe, going quite still.

“Oh, heavens,” Jackson murmurs. “Are you okay?”

“What happened!?” I gasp. Jackson gives me a little nudge down the bond that’s equivalent to a dirty look, letting me know that that’s not what’s important right now.

Like hell it’s not, I snarl back, shoving his little nudge away. Inwardly he laughs.

“Um, it’s a long story,” Midnight says, looking totally exhausted. She eyes the couch and the empty space at Jackson’s side. “Can I…can I come sit down? For a little bit?”

“Of course you can,” I say, reaching for her, ushering her over to the seat.

Midnight sits down and begins to talk softly to Jackson, telling him everything. I wait long enough to hear that she held on to part of the bond, and that Jesse is sad but okay, and that she sent Daphne to him. With a sigh and a glance up to the roof of the Castle, hoping Daphne found him, I head inside and make four big cups of cocoa.

After I bring them back out and pass them around, I curl up in Jackson’s lap and listen to Midnight tell the whole story. It takes a long time, but by the end of it…

“I’m proud of you, Mids,” I say quietly, giving her a small smile.

She looks up at me in surprise.

“I mean, I’m sorry that you’re hurting, and Jesse too,” I continue. “But…you’re going after what you want in this life. And not letting anyone else define that for you. I think that’s incredibly brave.”

“You did it too,” Midnight says, looking up at me, wiping away a tear or two and then taking a big sip of her cocoa. “You’re half the reason I thought I could.”

Goldie, I think sensing that her friend might want it, climbs onto the poor strained little wicker couch too and curls up in Midnight’s lap. Midnight smiles at her and hugs her close.

I smile at my new cousin, glad that she’s here, glad that she’s come to talk to us about it.

“Life…is about to go through some pretty serious changes, isn’t it?” Jackson says to both of us, even as he tilts his head up to smile at me.

I press a kiss to his mouth, probably more lingering than is polite, before I smile around at everyone. “Yeah,” I say, sighing and cuddling close to my mate, letting my eyes fall finally on our little girl while I send a mental pulse of joy and excitement to the twin bonds in my soul. “Yeah, it’s all changing. And I, for one, can’t wait for it.”

“Me too,” Jackson says, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

“Me too,” says Midnight, closing her eyes and resting her head against the loveseat.

“Me too,” says Marigold, grinning up at me.

And I smile right back, because even if her answer is the same as the others and she probably doesn’t know what it means, it’s by far my favorite.