Chapter 3 I'm done

†CHARLOTTE†

I step out of the car, my lips part to say something but he drives off without another word. The cold air that trails after him slaps my skin, leaving me with this hollow feeling in my chest.

But I shove it down.

It's probably for the best.

I pull air into my lungs as I walk through the reception. A few glances stray my way, but I ignore them, still shaken, confused, and relieved all at once.

By the time I reach the apartment, I open the door and, thankfully, find no one in the living room. I hear a familiar moan from Jeffrey's bedroom—Ava's moan—followed by the sound of a groan. My chest tightens as I climb to my bedroom and slam the door shut with more force than necessary.

I walk into the shower. The memories play in my mind again, and I feel sick as I stare into the mirror. The reflection staring back at me looks like me, but something feels wrong. My skin crawls beneath my clothes, and all I can think about are their hands.

Their hands were on me.

Their hands touched me.

Tears run down my face before I can stop them. The weight presses against my chest until I struggle to breathe, and my legs crumble beneath me.

I don't know how long I remain on the floor, trying to catch my breath. All I know is that I can't stand the feeling of their hands on me.

I need to get them off.

With a crawl, I make my way into the bathroom and turn on the shower. The warm water splashes over my skin. I take my soap and a sponge, scrubbing my skin over and over again until it burns a bright shade of red.

While my life was on the verge of ruin, Jeffrey was here having fun, and I can't even bring myself to blame him. I'm the idiot who fell for him. I'm the fool who believed that we could be something more, even when I knew he would never see me that way.

I try to stop, but the tears keep coming, mixing with the water and the stinging sensation on my cheek where the blade had touched me.

When I'm finally content, I step out of the bathroom and throw on some shorts and a singlet. My eyes land on the jacket in my laundry pile. At first, I ignore it and walk to the bed, but then I turn back, walk to the pile, grab it, and throw it on.

The comforting scent hits me again as I walk to my bed and shut my eyes.

†

I couldn't sleep.

Not one bit.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw those men. I felt their hands. What if they escaped? What if they're out there? What if there are more of them out there, looking for me?

That thought carries a shiver down my spine.

I walk to the bathroom, where I shower avoiding the mirror with everything inside me and change into my work clothes. I check my schedule for the third time, even though I already know what it says. No lectures. No assessments. Nothing that requires me to pretend I'm a functioning human being.

After putting on some light makeup to cover the telltale signs of insomnia, I make my way down the stairs.

The scene that greets me makes bile rise in my throat.

Ava stands in the middle of our kitchen. She's wearing one of Jeffrey's T-shirts, her shiny blonde hair in a messy bun as she drinks coffee from the mug Jeffrey bought me last Christmas. My fists tighten, but I calm myself.

It's too early for murder.

When she notices me, she smiles one of those fake smiles she always wears when Jeffrey's around and "accidentally" rolls her shoulders, causing the neck of the T-shirt to slip and reveal a blue-purple mark on her shoulder.

"What are you doing here? I thought you weren't ever going to come back."

"I'm sorry for ruining your honeymoon, Princess, but I live here." I say as I continue my march down, but then her voice stops me again.

"And so does my boyfriend."

"And what does that have to do with me?"

"You're his best friend and currently his fake ex. I'm not comfortable with another woman sharing this personal space with my boyfriend."

Boyfriend.

She's said the word twice, and I know she doesn't mean it in a romantic way. She's saying it to grate on my nerves. To prove that I'll never have that. Because I'm the stupid best friend.

I roll my eyes. "Look, I don't care about you or your boyfriend. And also, in case you haven't noticed, he wants nothing to do with me, so you have nothing to worry about."

The words sting, but I don't let it show.

I'm about to turn when her aggravating voice stops me AGAIN.

Kill me now!

"I have nothing to worry about? You still have feelings for him, and worse of all, you kissed him yesterday," she says, then chuckles, the sound pretentious. "Sorry, you devoured his mouth yesterday."

Before I can form a snarky remark, Jeffrey's voice sounds from the top of the stairs.

"What's going on here?"

He descends slowly, flashing me a look before turning his gaze back to Ava, who rushes to him, throwing her "dainty" form into his arms.

"It's nothing, babe. I'm just telling her the great news."

My brows rise. "What news?"

She faces him with a pout. "You haven't told her yet? Well, I can't blame you. We were..." Her gaze flickers to me. "Busy."

"What is the news, Jeffrey?" I ask again, ignoring her taunts.

Jeffrey looks perplexed, rubbing his nape.

"Well—"

"I'm moving in!" she announces, and my heart drops.

My worst freaking nightmare. I can already imagine the scene, Jeffery, Ava, together. No, I would literally die.

"What do you mean by that? Your dad is literally rich, and you both can get multiple houses around campus. Why are you doing this?"

She leans into Jeffrey's hold. "Because we both need the space to heal from our breakup."

"Then where the fuck am I going to stay?"

"Come on, don't be like this, Char. You know we need the space, and also, being with you now could jeopardise my relationship, and I don't want—"

"You don't want me to ruin it like I did before, right?" I smile, my eyes burning.

How dare he?

How fucking dare he?

I told you he would hurt you, the voice in my head says, but it's different from last night. Normal, I guess. She only changes when Tobias is near.

I don't focus on that. I shift my attention to my world crumbling all around me.

Something flashes in Jeffrey's eyes. Then he reaches for me, touching the jacket I'd unintentionally worn this morning.

"Where did you get this jacket? You don't wear leather. You never wear leather."

The anger in his voice makes irritation sizzle beneath my skin.

"This is your concern? This is your concern?!" My voice rises. "You used me, threw me out of my apartment, and now all you care about is the jacket on my body? Do you know what happened to me last night? Do you know what I went through?"

A mirthless chuckle slips from my lips.

"You'll never know, because I'm not Ava."

"That's Tobias's jacket," he states, and I see Ava stiffen at his side. "Were you with him yesterday? Did you sleep with him?"

I flip him off.

"You know what? Fuck you. You both can go fuck yourselves!"

I storm off and slam the door with more force than necessary.

I'm done.

I'm done being Jeffrey's pushover.

I'm done being the best friend who doesn't have a life.

I'm done being in love with Jeffrey.