Stay Alive Just to Hate Me
Dean's POV
Curtis didn't answer my question. He kept his eyes fixed on the half-formed clay, dragging a bamboo stylus across its surface in uneven, wandering lines.
After a while he stopped and turned the cup toward me.
On its side he had carved two stick figures — one larger, one smaller. The la...
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Chapters
1. I Know You're Watching
2. DoYou Know Why They Call You Freak?
3. I'm Right Behind You
4. I Stared At The Line Of Text For A Long Time
5. I Didn't Want Him To Know About The Bet At All
6. You'll Never Guess
7. Why Don't You Try Fucking Him The Way He Wrote It?
8. You Think Pushing Him Away Means You Won?
9. Dean, Move In With Me
10. You Understand Me Better Than Abel
11. I Was Already Hard
12. He Had Kissed Me
13. Dean's POV
14. Curtis's POV
15. Dean's POV
16. Dean's POV
17. Dean's POV
18. Dean's POV
19. Dean's POV
20. Dean's POV
21. Curtis's POV
22. Dean's POV
23. Dean's POV
24. Dean's POV
25. Curtis's POV
26. Dean's POV
27. Dean's POV
28. Dean's POV
29. Dean's POV
30. Dean's POV
31. Dean's POV
32. Dean's POV
33. Dean's POV
34. Dean's POV
35. Dean's POV
36. Dean's POV
37. Dean's POV
38. Dean's POV
39. Dean's POV
40. Dean's POV
41. Don't Tell Anyone
42. I Wouldn't Refuse. I Didn't Dare Refuse.
43. Where Did He Touch You?
44. You Said It Yourself. Have You Forgotten?
45. You're Not Going Anywhere. Starting Today
46. Curtis, What Am I To You?
47. I Said, Let's Break Up
48. Can We Just Go Back To How We Were
49. Why Are You Avoiding Me!
50. Stop Seeing Him
51. He'd Never Shared What He'd Been Suppressing Inside
52. Get Home Right Now
53. In The Empty Apartment,There Was Only Me
54. New Account? Better Choice Of ID This Time
55. Then Who Was It?
56. Someone Has Been Following Me
57. The Dash Cam Footage Is Still There
58. But Someone Told You To Do It — Didn't They?
59. Think He Might Do Something Stupid?"
60. He Was One Of Them —
61. Was That Who I Thought It Was?
62. I Actually Thought He Cared About Me
63. Don't Worry About It. I'll Manage
64. When Did You Get Back?
65. Noah, why?
66. Had SWEET Followed Me Again?
67. No. Dean. We Need To Talk——
68. We Track Down Whoever's Doing This
69. Kiss Me
70. I Could Not Afford To Want Curtis Again
71. You Think Grabbing Me Makes It All Go Away?
72. You Don't Get Out Of This
73. So It's Over?
74. But You're Still Leaving?
75. Is This Curtis's Engagement Party?
76. Because I Didn't Want You To Leave Again!
77. So You Invented A Version Of Me
78. They're Working On Her Right Now
79. The Area Code On That Number Belonged To The Glass Family Office
80. I'm Buying You A Reason Not To Quit
81. Cole Hamilton
82. I Looked For You
83. If You Have Any Problems, You Can Tell Me
84. Will Someone New Show Up In His Life, Too?
85. You Got Angry. Was That Because Of Him Too?
86. What Did You Add To It
87. I Told You. I'm Not Him
88. Lead Analyst: Dean Lang
89. Abel's POV
90. Was I Seeing Things?
91. What I Regret Is Not Keeping Him With Me
92. Old Flame, New Interest — Which One Are You Going To Choose?
93. Special Invitee
94. I Didn't Mean Any Of It
95. You Want Me — Isn't That It?
96. You Hate Me. But You're Soaking Wet
97. I Want To Help You
98. Let's Get Dinner
99. This Meant I Would Be Living With Kenneth
100. Dean—Truth Or Dare?
101. Does It Mean You're Willing To Give Me Another Chance?
102. You Kiss Me And Then Run?
103. Have You Considered Why He Kissed You?
104. I'd Actually Told Him We'd Be Even?
105. He Day Dean First Left Duluth
106. He Would Make Dean Disappear From This World Entirely
107. While I Was In Training, Keep Dean Safe
108. Did You See When He Came?
109. It Was To Protect Me, Is That It?
110. You Were Standing Too Close
111. Do You Actually Hate Him, or Just Say You Do
112. Don't Close Your Eyes, Curtis
113. If You Die, I'll Hate You Forever
114. But I Never Asked
115. Would He Still Shield Dean — Broken and Useless?
116. I Stabbed the Wrong Man
117. What Gives Him the Right to Still Be Alive
118. You Got Clay on Your Chin
119. Stay Alive Just to Hate Me
120. Stay Inside Me
121. That Was Before. Not Now
122. If You Go, I Go
123. He Might Be Worth the Nights You Stayed Up for Him
124. What If Sam's Surprise Actually Came?
125. Have You Ever Seen Him Take a Knife for Anyone?
126. What Do You Think Got You Here?
127. Your Son Curtis Is Gay
128. Delete Contact
129. All I Want Is You
130. I Am Pursuing You, Openly
131. This Time, I'm Not Letting Go
132. If You Can't Stop Thinking About Him, Go Tell Him Right Now
133. The Person I Like Is You
134. I Can't Let Him Carry This Alone Anymore
135. You've Been Mine Since That Alley
136. I Want a Taste of You First
137. Can You Actually Escape This Time?
138. Hold On to It and You Don't Get to Die
139. You Can't Just Let Him Die
140. I Read What You Wrote, and I Still Want to Talk to You
141. I Can't Let Him Lose You
142. You Owed Me That
143. Insufferable Every Morning
144. Hate Takes Too Much Out of You
145. Whether It's A Cufflink Or A Ring — Don't Lose It Again
146. I Want to Watch You Come Apart Because of Me*
147. Come Inside
148. Everything I Want Is Already Here
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