Chapter 3

The pool smell hit me like a punch to the gut.

I stood at the edge, staring down at the water. My hands were already sweating. Sunlight bounced off the surface, making it look like broken glass.

"Miss Rodriguez, you ready?" Mr. Johnson was setting up equipment in the shallow end. "Blake's going to need someone in the water with him for support."

My throat went dry. "Can't I just... help from up here?"

Blake looked up from his wheelchair, eyebrows raised. "Maya, you don't have to do this. I know you're not comfortable."

Not comfortable. Right. He had no idea the last time I'd been in deep water was when I'd tried to drown myself. I could still feel it—that crushing panic, water filling my lungs, the moment everything went black.

"I said I'd help." I pulled off my jacket, hands shaking. "So I'm helping."

Blake's face softened. "You sure?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

The second my foot hit the water, everything came rushing back. That night when I'd walked in just like this, letting the cold pull me under.

The water was freezing. I couldn't breathe right. Step by step until it reached my waist, and my whole body was screaming at me to get out.

I remembered what drowning felt like. The burning in my chest, the terror, the way everything just... stopped. I was shaking now, and not from the cold.

"Maya?" Blake's voice sounded far away. "You okay?"

I blinked, realizing I was death-gripping the pool edge. Blake had already made it over to me, using just his arms to swim. He looked worried.

"I'm fine." I forced myself to let go of the wall. "Let's do this."

Mr. Johnson showed me how to support Blake's body. I had to stand behind him, hands on his waist, keeping him stable while he worked on moving his legs.

When I put my arms around him, everything shifted.

He was warm and solid, muscles tight under my hands. We were close enough that I could smell his shampoo, feel him breathing.

This was not part of the plan. My heart was not supposed to be racing like this.

"Okay, Blake, try moving your right leg slowly," Mr. Johnson called. "Maya, just keep him steady."

I felt Blake tense up, concentrating hard. Sweat beaded on his forehead.

"Wait," he said, breathing hard. "I think... I can feel something. It's tiny, but..."

"Seriously?" I held him tighter without thinking. "Blake, that's incredible!"

He turned to look at me, and suddenly we were inches apart. Water dripped from his hair, and he was staring at me like I'd just saved his life or something.

My heart was pounding, and it had nothing to do with being scared of the water anymore.

"Maya," he said quietly, "why are you doing this for me?"

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Because I need you to save me later? Because I know what's coming? Because I'm falling for you and I shouldn't be?

"I don't know," I said, which was the truth.

Blake reached up and touched my face, his thumb brushing my cheek. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Everything went quiet. The pool, Mr. Johnson, the whole world—it all disappeared. Just Blake and me and this moment I definitely shouldn't be having.

I should step back. I should remember why I'm here. But when he leaned closer, I couldn't move.

He kissed me, soft and careful. Not desperate or hungry, just... sweet. Like I mattered.

And I completely lost it.

This was the boy who was going to jump in after me. The boy who'd try to save me when I didn't want to be saved.

What the hell was I doing?

I shoved him away, water splashing everywhere. "I have to go."

"Maya, wait—"

But I was already swimming for the edge, hauling myself out. My legs felt like jello, but I grabbed my stuff and ran for the locker room without looking back.

In the mirror, I looked insane. Hair plastered down, eyes red, lips still tingling from his kiss.

I scrubbed my face with a towel, telling myself the stinging in my eyes was just chlorine.

"Shit," I whispered. "What are you doing? This is supposed to be fake."

But my heart's still going crazy. I can still feel his hands on my face. I keep thinking about who he was before—star athlete, popular, perfect. And who he is now—broken but fighting, vulnerable but strong. And that kiss...

I clenched my fists. "You can't do this, Maya. You're going to try to kill yourself after he gets better. And he'll never know you're the reason he got hurt in the first place."

So why does it feel like my chest is caving in?

I changed clothes and tried to pull myself together. This was the plan. Get close, help him recover, and when my life falls apart, maybe he'll save me. Or maybe he won't. Either way, this isn't real.

Then why does it hurt so much?

I took a breath and walked back out.

Blake was waiting by the pool in his chair. His hair was still wet, and the way he looked at me made my stomach flip.

"Maya, about before..."

"It's fine," I cut him off. "We got caught up in the moment."

His face fell. "So it didn't mean anything?"

My heart was breaking, but I couldn't tell him that. "Blake..."

"Right." He smiled, but it looked forced. "I get it."

No, you don't. You don't know how much I want to kiss you again. You don't know how scared I am of caring about you. You don't know what I did to you.

"We're still friends though, right?" I said.

He nodded, but something had gone out of his eyes. "Yeah. Friends."