Chapter 21

"Ryan, I want to be with you, forever," I said, hardly believing how happy I felt, hardly remembering who I was or my purpose. In that moment, even sweet revenge seemed like it would pale in comparison to this.

He was still sleepy, but he opened his eyes a little to gaze at me. His lips were curved upwards in a happy smile like I'd never seen before that radiated from his usually bedraggled and strained face. His eyes were rich tawny and amber like yellow fire. His neck was thick and masculine with veins revealing all over the muscles of his body. I marveled at how large his arms and shoulders were, and how safe and small they made me feel.

My small hand was folded into his large hands. I admired the width of his forearms, even the stretch between his hands and his elbows were sexy. Everything about him was so attractive, I didn't think I could find a single inch of him that wasn't incredible.

Suddenly, he flinched and his body was heating up, I could feel on my arm closest to him. His forehead was glistening with sweat. His softened eyes burned with hunger, and it was not for my body this time, I realized it had to be for my blood.

Gazing down between my legs, there was a small dot of blood staining the bed sheets. Now that he was fully awake, the smell must be driving him wild.

"Ryan, are you alright?" I felt his scorching face, his skin was sticky from sweat.

He took my hand, his fingers wrapping into mine, squeezing. He stared at me like a cold predator so contrary to moments before.

My heart started to pound- urgent like it wanted to escape. He was bloodthirsty. He leaned over and kissed me. I put my arms around his neck, my body beginning to pulse again with memories from earlier this morning, but he was much rougher this time. I closed my eyes as he kissed me and bit gently on my lip. I wondered if he wanted to bite hard enough at my lip or tongue to draw blood.

But he didn't bite me hard enough, and I grew absorbed in his kiss. I wrapped my legs around his torso as he began pumping on top of me. I could feel him reaching for something on the night stand. I peered over, but he moved too quickly.

When he let go of me, he leaned back, calmness had returned to his eyes.

There was something around my neck that he'd managed to place there, I felt at it.

"That's my apology for the other night. I'm so sorry, that was really wrong of me to be so rough with you." He smiled, pointing towards the mirror across the room so that I might go take a look.

I got up to look in the mirror. Around my neck was a beautiful necklace with an elegant white-gold chain and pendant shaped like a wolf's face with two amethysts for eyes to match the color of my eyes.

I touched it lightly as if afraid that I could break it or that it would disappear. It had been forever since I'd gotten a gift, and never anything like this. I was thrilled. It was so special to me because it was from him. "I love it!" I said, the words about the gift so much easier than confessing my love to Ryan. "I will cherish it always, forever."

I climbed back onto the bed and kissed him passionately. My heart was warm and I wanted to give him something too. But what did I have?

"Are you sure that you don't want some blood? It would help you. I want you to have some." I thought of when he licked the virgin blood from my fingers and how his body grew strong. I knew enough that it would not happen again, it was just for my first time.

Ryan was shaking his head. "I don't want to hurt you, and that can't be good for you."

"I want to help you. I want you to live as long as possible." I said, tucking my body up to him. I gazed up at his eyes.

"I'm so sorry about the other night. I can't believe myself sometimes. It was really bad; I couldn't forgive myself. That's why I stayed away. My family, and my life are very complicated. I was worried about getting you into trouble, and I lashed out. I was worried about a lot that wasn't your fault. And that is my fault."

I remembered him grabbing my jaw and them abandoning me. Tears were in my eyes, not from the memory, but from his heartfelt apology. I remembered the pain in his eyes that night and how so much seemed to bother him, even if I fretted that it might have everything to do with me. His apology confirmed that there was a lot going on inside him.

"I forgive you," I said, and then in a more teasing tone, "But don't do it again."

"Never," he kissed me.

I added, "I know you have complications, but I'm not afraid. Trust me. If you think back to how you found me, I also have a complicated life." More than I was wanting to admit right then.

He nodded, "We do understand each other."

"Yes," I whispered.

"The other night, I was so drunk. When I saw you, it was hard to control myself. Because of your blood, you could save me. But you could also save Jacob, and the family I hate. I should have controlled myself."

"It's ok. Maybe don't get so drunk next time. I won't either. It seems we both lose some control when we're drunk." I blushed.

He chuckled, "yeah, except it was great when you were drunk. Very cute."

"Cute?" I smiled, leaning into the joke. But there were more serious topics he'd brought up, so I responded to his apology. "If you only knew what I've been through, you'd know I'm on your side. I'm with you, even if we both die. You can't give up on me. You can't regret it; we are both dealing with a lot."

"Shhh. Please don't tell me that you'll die. I can't stand that thought." He said. "I wish you'd tell me what you've been through."

I thought of the horrors of my past life and the Moon Goddess sending me back for revenge. "You have me! Unlike the Jacob or the other Alexanders, you have me with the purest blood if only you'd allow it for yourself. I will feed you; you will be stronger and live longer. I won't let you die. Don't be stubborn." I couldn't imagine life without him. I didn't want to, especially not after this morning. Even with revenge, life without him would not be worth living.

"You know that you still have a chance to leave, and find a simpler path." He said. "Choose a less complicated life. I wouldn't blame you."

He had no idea the irony in his words, and how complicated my life already was.

"Never," I said, squeezing his hand in mine.