Chapter 26

Alyson's POV

I was laying warm in my bed, still feeling a touch of nausea. It had been days already- after a lot of objections, I'd finally allowed Ryan to call me a pack doctor to take a look at me. I'd had an allergic reaction to the wolfs bane. He'd given me an elixir to help flush it from my blood. It would make the symptoms more intense for about a day, but then I'd be better.

I had intense stomach pain, nausea, dizziness and fever. Ryan sat with me, putting a damp cloth over my sweaty forehead. I was comforted by his presence but too sick to say much to him.

In my fog, I knew that Dylan was there too. He would come in to the room sometimes.

"How is she?" Dylan asked.

"Not well, obviously," Ryan said back.

"You know, if you have business to attend to, I could sit with her for a while."

"I have nothing more important than her." Ryan said.

"I'm here, so you could let me help you." Dylan remained in the doorway.

"I don't care if you're here or not."

Their conversation woke me up more from the haze. I turned to look up at Ryan, his beard was shaggy and face strained with worry. He'd leaned over me- his intense bright eyes burrowing into mine.

"Alyson?" He said.

I heard Dylan say, "Perhaps we're disrupting her sleep."

Ryan rumbled in his throat, and Dylan backed out of the room.

I rolled over and put my arm over his lap, burying my face near his leg. "Thank you, Ryan." I said, thinking of his rescue.

"For what?"

"For coming for me."

"If I have anything to say about it, I'll never let anyone hurt you again." He stroked my hair. He was looking off towards the window, the agitation in his voice indicated something really bothered him.

Finally, by the next morning my fever broke. Ryan was sleeping beside me. I sat up, and my head felt practically normal. The muscles in my body responded to my wishes, and I even got out of bed. As soon as my feet hit the floor, Ryan lurched from his sleep.

He saw me standing there, and he rushed to help me. "Are you sure you're ok? Maybe lay down a little more."

I folded into his tight embrace; my face tilted up toward him. "I feel good."

He kissed me lightly as if too much might hurt me. My body swarmed with warmth- gratitude for my protector. We gazed at each other intensely. A knock at my door interrupted us.

"I hear Alyson?" Dylan said. "Are you awake?"

Even though I was not happy that he'd interrupted a moment between Ryan and I, I was pleased to find he was still with us. We had some things to discuss and plot.

"We're busy," Ryan shouted back, irritation and disdain heavy in his tone.

"Oh, sorry." Dylan said, trying to keep his merry tone. "I just hope to see her one of these days."

"Don't be rude," I said, pulling away from Ryan. "Didn't he help you find me?" I had gathered that much from hearing their conversations. Although remembering how Ryan had ripped apart 10 wolves in a matter of minutes was fresh on my mind.

Ryan grumbled. "Hardly any help, practically worthless."

I remembered his large wolf, enlarged by his rage. I'd never seen anything like it. It was not as if I hadn't seen him shift many times, but there had been something different. I hadn't known he was capable of a massacre. The idea thrilled me.

I must have been looking at him differently, as he said. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"I'm not sure," he said. "A little scared, a little amazed maybe."

It was true. Seeing him like that was terrifying if I thought that could ever be directed at me, and amazing because I wondered how much he could help me with my revenge if I ever trusted him enough to tell him about my past.

"So why did you invite him here?" Ryan said. Suddenly his eyes shifted, there was a subtle hurt behind his frustration. "Did you like him or something?"

"You know that I came to you that night, after I had dinner with him." I said, flushing from remembering our fight that night and how I'd been swept away with desire. We hadn't done anything, but it had been the first time we'd slept side by side. "You think if I like him, I would have done that?" Ryan could be so obtuse sometimes, as if all those days of mating and intimacy would not have meant more to me than a silly invitation for Dylan to visit?

I noticed how he was more distant now. The space between us like a terrible void that I wanted to close. He wasn't looking at me anymore.

"So, what is it? You tell me now." He said. "Explain how you refuse to be my mate, and yet you invite whoever to my pack as if you have that authority."

My throat tightened. Even after sharing so much intimacy, even after I told him that I loved him one time, and I had told him other things, in those heated moments, it felt like a long time ago. Being kidnapped had only heightened my fears of giving myself willingly to someone's control to be abused and destroyed.

So, what was I doing with him? I could not believe my cold mind, but I thought that he could be useful to me. Was that all this was? I realized in that moment something else that I could never admit to him, I wanted to be free and have control over my life. With his power, he could never understand how terrible it was to live such a powerless life.

"I won't have a mate." I said with quiet resolve. I couldn't, the Moon Goddess promised me. I didn't understand why she had to through me to Ryan who wanted me to be his mate like that.

"You still don't feel it after everything?" He sounded in pain.

Shaking my head regretfully, I admitted only to myself that I felt something for him, even love, but it was not like I sensed he was my bonded mate. I had known that feeling before, and it had turned into the worst pain. Even if I hated the hurt in his eyes and voice, I would not give myself over to it.

I turned away from him and opened the door. I peered out to the main room, "Dylan? Could you come in here, please?"

He practically leapt away from his breakfast, the eagerness in his expression matching his swift gait. Dylan entered the room, and Ryan sulked off on the other side of the room. I shut the door behind him, even while Michael was about to follow him in.

"Dylan, why did I invite you here?" I said.

Ryan looked irritated again.

"If I recall," he cleared his throat, clearly a little disturbed by the rage radiated from Ryan's direction. "You wanted me to show you how to find an herb that is incredibly valuable to Crowalt Pack."

That peaked Ryan's interest. "What's that?"

We spent a few minutes describing this herb that helps the blood flow and healing of the Clan Clark Blood providers. It grows down in the south primarily and they pay any price for good quality.

As Ryan's countenance loosened as we talked, his expression growing keener with understanding. He had not heard of it before.

"So," I added, "We were discussing the possibility of gaining control of this supply and trade."

"Yes," Dylan nodded, clearly relaxing as Ryan did. "I would show you both about this herb, and perhaps we could intensify our trade relations. It likely grows on your territory, hopefully in abundance. We will have to find it."

Ryan nodded, "This is a big project. All very interesting." While he'd looked incredibly intrigued during the explanation, there was something else bothering him. "I just hope that it'll be enough. It might take too much time."

"Too much time for what?" I said, my heart was beating in my chest. He was afraid, and I knew it was not for himself.

"Don't you realize?" Ryan said. "The Crowalt pack has been here, that's who kidnapped you. They have found me." With terrible distraught, he stormed out of the room.