Chapter 31

Alyson's pov

It did feel a little strange after mating with Ryan, sharing his bed, and then waking up alone and joining Dylan for breakfast. His amused expression indicated that he knew, and he could probably smell mating all over me.

"Where's Ryan?" He asked.

"He left before I woke up. His note said he had some duties." I desperately hoped he would not leave for days again. I needed him, we had only just reconnected, but I knew that he was tossing and turning all night.

"Is he always in and out like this?" Dylan asked.

I wasn't sure. "As long as I've known him."

"I hope he's not gone for days now; we have some conspiring to do!" Dylan said. "Oh, don't look so down."

I wasn't aware that my sadness and worry were obvious. "I wish he'd tell me more."

Dylan leaned in as if he wanted to tell me a secret. He waved his hand a little to get me to lean closer too. "Maybe if you tell him more, he'll tell you more." He winked. "You're a very mysterious she-wolf, and while that very intriguing, it's not the best way to strengthen a mate bond."

I shot him a glare.

He held up his hands in surrender, 'I'm just saying, if you were to choose a mate, or something, even if you would not have any, more sharing yourself might help."

I pouted a little, thinking of sharing my body with Ryan. Couldn't that be enough? That part was easy, and felt too amazing. He had shared a lot about his past with me. We'd shared many intimate moments, but when we talked, we often missed one another, I could tell that he always held information from me, and I couldn't really blame him because I was also doing it.

"You're probably right," I said.

Dylan sat back in his chair smugly as if my words were a gold medal in some competition.

"I'm not very good at…" I started to say but I wasn't sure what friend, lover, ally? I wasn't sure what Ryan was to me, only that I loved him and, and I wasn't sure how to love. I had forced the Moon Goddess to promise that I would not have a fated mate bond, and I could smell nothing in Ryan even if he smelt it in me.

Dylan's words unsettled me, if I choose a mate… My choice would not be fated, or predestined. If I were to do it. I was still too scared of betrayal. It occurred to me that perhaps the Moon Goddess had taken away my ability to smell the fated mate bond, but not the ability to choose a mate, or have others want to be my mate.

But I was not going to be tricked into anything. I needed it to be my choice. I couldn't be naïve.

I looked over at Dylan. His intense eyes were staring at me.

"What?" I said.

"You look absolutely deep in thought, and stunning. If I may say so. If I were a painter, I would capture your image! So sad, so serious, so beautiful."

It was too funny, and too much. I blushed, and smiled a little shyly. Even though it seemed too forward, and I shouldn't accept such flattery while I was Ryan's lover, I knew it was all Dylan's humor.

Michael entered the room in the midst of Dylan's serenade. "You two make me sick." He growled, slumping down at the table.

"Did Ryan go without you again?" I asked, more worried about him. He shouldn't always be leaving his beta, what was he hiding?

"Yes, and apparently good thing, with this lover boy over here spouting poetry to you. And you blushing and smiling like that." Despite his light sarcasm, Michael looked highly aggravated, his wolfish eyes narrowing at Dylan challenging in some masculine stare on behalf of his Alpha.

I waved him off in irritation. I liked Dylan a lot, but not like that. He wasn't the intoxicating, powerful Ryan, who could look at me and I would want to rip his clothes off and press my body to his. It was nothing like that with Dylan, even while I enjoyed his company.

Dylan and I spent the day chatting about the herb, and his plans to trade with Crowalt. He had quite the elaborate plan already, but my head was with Ryan. I wanted him to come back, and the more my mind drifted to him, the more Dylan's voice faded to background details.

I kept having visions of the night before and my cheeks would flush. I wanted him home, I wanted more of Ryan.

Large boots stomped up the front steps. My ears perked up, and I eagerly was at the door when Ryan came in. He looked bedraggled and worn, but not as bad as when he'd left for two days. I grabbed his hands and led him in to sit down.

I offered him a glass of water, and snuck in a drop of my blood before he could object.

He drank it, hungrily, at first taking it like just water, but then gulped it all down. His eyes fell on me, and I shivered. I could feel his power stronger than ever, reawakened. I knew his eyes, and his heart, as we stared each other down from across the room like we were in heat. I could feel all the urges of my body itching inside me to release.

Dylan cleared his throat. "It seems like you two might have some catching up to do. Good night, Alyson." He appeared uncharacteristically sad as he walked briskly to the door, and left.

I glanced around, to be sure both Donna and Michael were not in the vicinity. Ryan didn't care if they were, he was already upon me, the hungry wolf inside him only tempered a little as he tore off my clothes. He carried me into his bedroom.

He slammed me into the wall, all the strength of him, and the wild smell of a man who had shifted recently filled my nostrils.

I was excited by him and his strength. I wanted him to use me roughly, I wanted to feel him inside me, and to have my entire body shudder and shake with pleasure. I dug my fingernails into his back to help me from falling from the wall. The slight nip of pain only heightened his desires.

Ryan growled, and bit at my lip, nearly drawing blood. I almost wanted him to. I wanted to give all of myself to him, flesh and blood. I wrapped my legs around him, feeling for his bulging member against me, it slipped against me.

I was so lost in the sensation, I began moaning and saying, 'I'm yours. I'm yours. Take all of me."

He stopped to look into my eyes, and I averted my gaze, shifting my body more on top of his, needing him, not wanting to acknowledge what I'd just said and how excited he looked about it.

I pressed my body just right, and he was inside me as he held me up against the wall. He grunted with pleasure as if the sensation surprised him. I moaned, but I didn't let any more words cross my lips.

He turned me around to the bed, keeping himself inside me and he pulsated from behind me, he held my body in place, and the sensations ripped through my body like they would tear my apart from the inside out. He plunged deeper and deeper till I couldn't stand it any longer.

I cried out in ecstasy, and it only encouraged him to pick up the pace. The rapid throbbing sped up, and with my face into the bed, I tried to stifle my screams of pleasure.

It was so amazing, that when we were finished, I was at loss for words for a long time. We beathed hard, and Ryan flopped down beside me. I turned over, my cheeks flushed and burning red. I gazed at him again like we had some secret.

We lay by each other after. I thought of talking with Dylan about opening up more to him, and maybe in return he would share more with me. It wasn't that I wanted to build a mate bond with him, or anything. But I wanted to know where he kept disappearing.

"I know that something is up," I traced my hand over his chest, circling his nipples with my finger. His eyes were closed and a pleasant smile was on his face.

He grunted agreement.

I wondered what about myself that I could tell him that I would feel safe to do so, maybe a partial truth. "I have a history with Crowalt Pack as well." I said.

He sat up abruptly. His fierce eyes locked on mine. "What do you mean?"

My throat tightened. I would sound crazy if I told him my whole story. I couldn't tell him yet that Jacob and my twin had locked me and tortured me. They killed me. I had already died and been sent back by the Moon Goddess.

"Well, it can't be much of a surprise, as I have Clan Clark blood. My abusers from how you found me were also of Crowalt Pack. I have revenge to take on them."

He didn't look surprised, he looked touched. He grabbed my hands, and kissed them. He urged me to tell more.

"They've already really hurt me, and you." I said.

He nodded, "And they've found me, and I don't think I can avoid it any longer."

I had admitted so little, but it had worked.

He continued, "This confirms it. I'm going to have to return and challenge my uncle Jacob, or we will never be safe."

I was shocked and scared. I wasn't sure if I was ready to face Jacob and my past yet, but I would not let Ryan go alone.

"I'm coming with you," I said, knowing that he would need my blood to be at his strongest. He should know that.

I could see the objection in his face, but I put my finger to his lips, straddled his torso and kissed him.