Chapter 34

I was sobbing uncontrollably when I ran back into the cabin. I would grab a few items, and then I would follow Ryan.

My bleeding hand from grabbing the necklace too tight stung as I wiped the tears from my eyes. Even when I was bleeding, Ryan had not come back. He must be so far from me; how far could he be? The sooner I left, the sooner I could catch up to him.

Dylan must have heard me. He was knocking at my door, "Alyson! Are you ok?"

I was not ok, and I didn't want to talk to him. He couldn't possibly understand.

He was still knocking as I was trying to pack one more dress in a pack that I could carry even as a wolf.

I put on the pack and whipped out of the room, nearly running straight into Dylan. "Alyson?" He was following me as I walked out of the cabin. "Wait? Where are you going?"

"Ryan left, and I'm going after him." I said.

"Wait, stop. You shouldn't go with him. It's dangerous."

"I don't care about danger, I care about Ryan," I couldn't fathom how he left and how much he needed me if he was going to take on Jacob.

I was already trying to push past him, and he was blocking me. I shoved him harder, but he was pretty strong in his feet and conviction, and I glowered up at him. I was about to shift.

"I've ran with him before, you'll never catch him, you'll be alone out there. What if they find you again? I know you were already kidnapped once."

Fear seized me for a second. I glared at him, and pointed, "Then you should come with me. Together we'd be safer and we could catch up with him."

But he was shaking his head, "No, I already promised Ryan that I would start the herb thing when he left. He spoke to me, and I said that I would work on that."

"He told you he was leaving?" I whirled on him, wanting to push him off his feet, but I stood, with my hands to fists. "When did he tell you?"

"Um… not long before he left. He woke me to tell me."

I squinted at him, and crossed my arms, hoping to intimidate the truth from him. I assumed Ryan told him even before he told me. That would be just like him, and then it was also partially Dylan's fault for not telling me sooner.

"You knew and you didn't tell me?" I questioned him, my voice raising.

"It was not my place to tell you. Ryan assured me that he would tell you and I assumed that he did prior to leaving."

I nodded one time. "I can't believe he left. He said that I could go with." I know he had denied that, but it felt true to me.

"You should come with me. I know we can find him," Even if I'd said I wasn't afraid of death, I was afraid of falling into the power of Crowalt Pack all by myself, and living a similar fate to before, powerless to seek my revenge, and unable to live freely. This consideration gave me pause, but also, I wondered about Ryan's wishes. What if he were right, but he couldn't be, he needed my blood.

"Look," Dylan said, putting his hand on my arm. "I know this hurts, but it's not the end. Ryan is doing this for you, not to get away from you. Have trust in him that he knows for the best."

"Bullshit. He shouldn't have gone off without me." I couldn't stop thinking of how weak he could get without my blood especially after a long trip without much rest like he tended to do. "Nothing you can say can convince me otherwise."

"I know better than to change your mind, but perhaps I can offer a little distraction, and we can get you closer to Ryan all in one swoop."

That peaked my interest. "What do you mean? You will come with me?" I hoped rather than believed that he was agreeing to my demands.

"Let's make a deal." Dylan said. "Hear me out."

"I'm listening," I said.

"I can't come with you, but you could come with me?" he said. "I promised Alpha Ryan to start the herb business as soon as possible so I really need to return to my territory. Featherwall territory neighbors Crowalt, and so we would be a steady distance from Ryan, but also safe on my turf."

I crossed my arms. My mind was frantic and I wanted to act rashly, but I had enough experience to trust the more cautious side to my nature. It sounded like a safer plan for sure, and I would be no help to Ryan if I was captured again, and I had to realistic that I didn't have the best survival skills if I were to run out on my own.

I was venturing towards Jacob, and that was another reason to be afraid. I knew with his powers; it was very hard for anyone to sneak onto his territory. The power of Alexanders meant that they were sensitive to such infractions. That also made me worry even more for Ryan.

My posture slumped as I let my mind see that this might be a good plan. I could go with Dylan for a while, and be safer under his company, but then when close enough, run off to find Ryan. It still hurt. Everything inside me was pained at the loss, that Ryan was far from me and I didn't know when I might see him again.

Dylan continued, "And, I might add that my family would be delighted to meet you. If all goes well, and I'm sure it will, we might not even have to sneak onto Crowalt territory, rather enter it under the protective status of guests. Wouldn't that be much better?"

That did sound better than my plan, although my pride made it hard to admit. "Ok," I said, my mind still reeling with the possibility of using Dylan to get closer to Ryan, and still sneaking off if need be.

Relief was spreading across his entire face, and he smiled sweetly, he opened his arms to me, and I leapt into a hug, I was crying again, I needed to cry. He stroked my hair and said, "It'll be ok."

I pulled back from him. "When can we leave? Today? Now?"

He chuckled even though I was in no mood for laughter. He looked more in his normal humor again, especially since I was no longer trying to get past him.

"I will need a little time to prepare my servants, but I see no reason to delay more than a few hours. Will you be ok? You're not going to run off on me in that amount of time?"

"I'll wait till you're ready, but you better get ready fast." I shook my head bitterly. It would be hard to wait any time to get going, any motion towards Ryan was the correct path. I couldn't bear the thought.

He chuckled, and left me to prepare his things and his servants for our imminent departure.

For the first time since meeting the Moon Goddess, I prayed to her, "Please, Moon Goddess, keep Ryan safe. If any harm comes to him, I could never forgive you. Nothing better happen to him, and I better see him again."

I worried about Jacob, and I knew how powerful he was. I knew that Ryan was also powerful, but less so without any blood. For the first time since my death, I wondered who was the new blood provider for Jacob.

It had not occurred to me before, but Jennifer didn't have good blood for that, so what were they doing now? Fear burned inside me, rage burned hotter at the thought that they might have another Clark victim kept in that basement, and how readily they would recapture and use me like a pig for blood again.

I would never be used like that again. I needed to return to Crowalt to help Ryan, but also to find out who was providing blood to Jacob. I felt rage at my sister for what she did to me, and the possibility that she was betraying someone else.