Chapter 75

Alyson

It's hard the breathe with the feeling of molten fire dripping down my throat and swirling through my lower abdomen. When I breathe, I feel my lungs dissipate with pressure, only to fill with a mouthful of fire again before letting the pressure resist back just for a moment. My muscles are all tensing at once, my poor wolf whining and damn near howling in my head.

I aim to scream, nothing but an exasperated gargle leaving the last reminisce of my lips. Ryan is busy needing to calm me down but I can't help the sight of his eyes in this moment. His wolf is trying to break free, to help his mate in heat, and the irises of Ryan's once beautiful cyan eyes is now red as the blood in my nightmares.

His hand finds my waist, so tense and knotted up. My muscles are rough and strained. It's not possible to think of a solution other than the one thing guaranteed to fix this agonizing pain. We both know it's the only option, but in this field, right now, it doesn't seem like a very good outlet to fix our new problem.

Ryan glances up, laying me on my back, his eyes hitting those of the warriors he has trained to protect me when I wander off—the same incompetent wolves that always watch me stroll out of the palace and don't stop to catch up with me. they know I'm hard to keep still, and I'm not very good with authority seeing as my past encounters with such entities.

All the same, the warriors had strolled out here and in the middle of this field to be with their Alpha. I can only picture how restrained they are feeling, a Luna in heat like free candy to irrational pups. They must be biting their wolves down hard to keep sane.

"Pl—please, Ryan," I beg, trembling from head to toe, "it hurts!"

"Shh, I know, Luna, I know," he mutters, brushing a soothing hand through my scalp.

I eye my mate through tears, feeling like every time I cough I am choking on pure heat, the rays of the sun sizzling down my lungs with the nature of the world twisting my insides and working to tie them in an undoable knot. Ryan is trying to scatter his warriors, like he intends to form a large circle around us to prevent anyone seeing it happen, but at this rate, I wouldn't care if the whole pack were to catch a glimpse. I just want this pain to end.

Ryan gently caresses my cheek, his eyes worried and wide, still pink and red from his wolf being tempted by the smell of my hormones. It's impossible to cover up. I can even smell the heat of my wolf and my body crave the act that it needs for this pain to subside.

Finally, with the warriors all faced away and guarding us from being watched, Ryan focuses only on me, his hand ripping the silk of my dress until the fabric hangs limp off my thighs. I shudder in the morning breeze, wishing it would cool my temperature but it would take fifty buckets of ice water to do that. Even then, this pain would continue to prevail.

Ryan is destined to put an end to it, though. His hand grabs at my knee, sliding up quickly until he finds the burning hot, drenched section of my sex. His eyes go wide at the feeling, so welcoming to his touch, and he doesn't hold back a second longer. He rests beside me, kissing my lips so I can't hardly scream out anymore, his fingers pulsing against my core.

I threaten to scream, anyways, delighted and terrified, my pulse jumping rapidly in spikes that make me twitch all over. Ryan takes it as a notion to hurry up, to work harder at the feeling in my abdomen, and I melt into his methodical hands. He pushes inward with two fingers, twisting them and touching me in ways I haven't known would feel this amazing but then again, sex in heat is always the best kind of sex.

I look to Ryan, trying so hard to restrain himself, but my wolf craves more.

"Ryan, come here," I breathe, tugging his hips toward my pelvis. His eyes pace mine, worried, and understandably so, but logic isn't my concern right now, pain relief is. "Please, Ryan, please, it would help—I need help, Ryan, please—"

He growls a noise unbeknownst to me and flips himself over on top of my body. All at once, his girth is pulled free and it beams toward me for just a moment before it's pushed down into my body, through my tight, wet sex, and I arch my back just to accommodate the feeling of his sheer length.

I groan a salacious noise, my eyes practically crossing as his hips begin a rhythmic thrust that it impossible to contain to just a mild whimper. I feel myself holler out, yelping in pleasure, his hands tightly locked into my sides as he does a dance with my body in this field. The heat in my throat is finally gone, but the soreness remains in my muscles, taking this remedy one dose at a time.

My fingers curl against the wheat grass around us, pulling at it like it will give me an edge, but my wolf is hollowing a laugh in my mind right now. She is enjoying this moment, something about Ryan's Alpha wolf so dominate and so damn pleased with taking control like this, to save his Luna the pain, that it's almost sweet in a sexy kind of way.

With every thrust brings relief, and soon I feel limp in this field, completely drained as I can't even lift my head up to see my mate. I feel him beside me soon enough, out of breathe and still worried, but his eyes back to their crystal color, no longer two concerned rubies. I think of his protectiveness over me, his arm wrapped over my pelvis, keeping the rip of my dress from exposing anything as the wind licks us both.

I still feel ill in this moment. My throat is closing up and my head is going light while spots line my eyesight far too quickly after our passionate moment together. I thought it would take more time before I'd go into heat after being mated in ceremony to Ryan but it's only been a few weeks and I feel like years have passed in this field. I feel stiff, aged, and I wish I could just get relief but my wolf has other plans.

She hazes my sight, the feeling of my body being taken over and controlled elsewhere familiar, but it's not from shifting. Instead, I fall back into he grass, lazy and loose, exhausted and worn, and for once I feel like I may have finally gotten the peace I've needed. My vision goes dark, darker than ever before, the floating feeling of my body in the unconsciousness so serene.

"Long time, no see, blood pet."

That voice is familiar, so familiar that I feel myself jerk in reaction to hearing it. It's not a nice voice, and it doesn't mean anything good. It means I'm in a nightmare again, and there's no breaking free of these because not only are they nightmares, but they are also memories.

Memories I wish would die.