Chapter 97

Atwood

As soon as Ruby says that she experienced the void, memories of my time there come rushing back. More than anything else, memories of what Vivian said to me there flood back into my mind.

“Visit my room more... Turn on the lights and light the fire... Let both yourself and Ruby enjoy the room, rather than shutting it off from the world. Most importantly, uncover my painting; I like to watch from there.”

Her words ring in my head as though she’s speaking them to me in this moment, but I know that’s not the case. Vivian has finally crossed over to an eternity of peace. From now on, she only exists in the snow that falls from the sky.

I’m okay with that. I think Ruby is, too.

I stand up and start getting dressed.

“Get dressed,” I tell Ruby. “I want to show you something.

She throws on her robe and follows me out of my hidden room, taking my hand as we exit the study into the cold, dark corridor. Everyone else in the castle, aside from the guards who are watching the entrances like hawks for any sign of my mother or her minions, has long since gone to sleep. The halls are quiet now, like the void, but not nearly so sad.

Ruby and I slowly make our way to Vivian’s room, taking our time to enjoy the silence together. My body still tingles with the sensation of finally being inside her, of being one with her. She was right; we’re not traditional. We never have been, and we never will be. I think that we needed each other tonight, pure and simple.

The portly guard, Mark, is sleeping on duty, as usual.

“Wake up,” I say, gently kicking his chair to wake him. He jolts awake and jumps to his feet, bowing apologetically.

“My deepest apologies, sir,” the guard says, his face red with embarrassment.

I can only laugh.

“It’s alright,” I say, clapping him on the shoulder while Ruby giggles next to me. “You’re relieved of your duty here. This door no longer needs guarding.”

“As you wish, sir,” Mark says, bowing again and placing the key in my outstretched hand. He’s never been the best guard, but I’ve always liked him nonetheless.

“Oh, and Mark,” I say as he walks away, “I think you should spend more time near the kitchen. I hear that the scullery maid likes having you around.”

Mark’s face turns beet red as he stammers for a reply, but is unable to come up with one, so he simply turns on his heel and scurries off toward the kitchen.

“These halls echo,” I say quietly, winking at Ruby as I unlock the door. Truthfully, I don’t know if the scullery maid likes Mark back in the same way that he likes her, but tonight, I’m feeling like letting love spark in this castle.

The door swings open to reveal the cold, dark room that was once Vivian’s place of solitude. I flick on the lamp, illuminating the room to reveal all of the dust and cobwebs and moth-eaten sheets that cover the furniture.

“Why did you want to show me this?” Ruby asks.

“When I was in the void, I saw Vivian, too,” I reply, walking over to the window and opening the dusty curtain to let the moonlight in. The white snow covering the ground outside makes the moon feel even more bright as it reflects into the room.

“She asked me to clean up her room. To make it warm and inviting again, so she doesn’t feel so lonely. I know that she’s finally gone now, but I think that it’s important to honor her wish. If that’s alright with you, anyway.”

Ruby is silent for a while. For a few moments, I wonder if she’ll become upset and say no, or even storm out of the room. But she doesn’t.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” she says, walking over to a table with Vivian’s journal on it. She shuts it and dusts off the cover with her sleeve before handing it to me. The leather is worn and faded, but I can still see the design on it: a tree, full of leaves at the top, with long roots at the bottom. It had been a birthday present for her. I haven’t had the heart to pick it up in a long, long time, but it doesn’t feel nearly as heavy as I remember it last being.

“Let’s clean it up together,” Ruby says quietly. “No one else, because they won’t understand. Just us.”

My face gets hot, and for a moment I wonder if I might cry, but the tears don’t come. Ruby must see my pain, because she wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me tightly.

“It’s okay to still love her,” she says, her lips brushing the skin of her neck. “I love her, too, for saving us. I want to honor her.”

She steps back, and now I can see the tears in her bright red eyes in the moonlight. They’re not tears of sadness, though; that much I can tell.

“We’ll start tomorrow,” I say, tucking the journal under my arm and taking Ruby’s hand. I lead her out of the room and shut the door behind us before pulling out the key to lock it again.

Before I lock the door, Ruby takes my hand with the key in it and lowers it. When I look at her, she’s shaking her head.

“Don’t lock it,” she says. “She wouldn’t want that.”

I look back down at the key in my hand, then back to Ruby, who is still gazing at me sternly with those red eyes of hers. She’s right. With a nod, I pocket the key and lead her back to my study.

When we get back to my study, we retreat to my hidden bedroom once more where it’s warm and dark. I leave Vivian’s journal on my desk -- I won’t go so far as to bring it into the bedroom where Ruby and I make love.

After bringing her to Vivian’s room, I thought for sure that Ruby would want to be alone for the rest of the night, and I would understand if that was the case. But it’s not. As soon as the door closes behind us, she’s on me again, kissing me passionately.

We make love again, our warm bodies pressed together under the bed sheets as the cold wind from the outside seeps in through the cracked window. Ruby’s scent and the sound of her soft gasps and moans fills my senses.

Maybe she sprouted wings because she’s an angel. It certainly feels like it tonight.

By the time we finish, the sun has already started to come up over the distant hills. Has the time passed that quickly? I look down as Ruby lays on my chest to see that she’s finally fallen asleep, happy as a kitten in a warm patch of sunlight.

Soon, I fall asleep, too.