Chapter 142

Layla

Eva and Stasia were called away from the estate rather abruptly, leaving me alone to contemplate their offer.

“While you’re away with us, you can bring Eli to stay with Dmitri and Irena. You know they will take care of him.”

I did trust them to properly look after Eli if I were to decide to go away with the twins. Of course, I knew I could Eli in Aldo’s care as well...It’s just that...Maybe we both needed a break from the Marcello family.

This choice would be his to make. Eli was getting older and I didn’t want him to feel as though he didn’t have a say in the matter. But, in order for anything of that to be set into place, I was going to need to reach out to my son.

The pain that engulfed my heart whenever I thought of him recently, has become too much to bear. I had to fix things with Eli. If I had any chance of getting better then I was going to have to face my fears head-on.

“No more hiding away and feeling sorry for ourselves,” I said.

I turned to glance out the window to see the sun had already sunk beneath the horizon. I missed dinner, but I wasn't too bothered by that. My hunger had continued to elude me without fail due to how anxious and troubled I’d been feeling.

Unfortunately, the feeling was still there but I refused to let it simmer any further.

I got up from the chair and made it toward the door. I forced my sheepish feelings down and slipped into the hallway. The place was quiet, yet I heard faint sounds coming from the end of the hall.

My eyes were fixated on the soft glow of light that was streaming off from the kitchen. I quietly padded down the hallway and kept myself close to the wall.

“Nonna, how big are we making these cookies?”

Melissa chuckled lightly. “Not too big, Eli. See, you only need a pinch of dough. You’re going to roll it out in your hands like this, okay?”

“Like this?”

“Perfecto, dear. Now, this is the tricky part. Take the dough and carefully knot it around your finger and place it on the backing sheet,” she explained.

The sound of Eli’s voice caused a twinge in my chest. It felt like forever since I last heard it. My throat tightened and that same feeling of panic raced through me.

Oh God. Maybe this was a mistake. No! No, focus. You need to talk to Eli.

Knowing my son, he had a look of determination on him. The peak of his tongue would be ever-so-slightly peaked out from his mouth and his eyes would be narrowed. It brought a small smile to my face.

I daringly took another step out from the shadows to see what exactly they were working on. The counter was covered in several baking sheets along with a large metal mixing bowl. My eyes fell on the already-filled baking sheet and was surprised to find that they were baking Italian knot cookies.

My heart skipped a few beats. I hadn’t seen that particular cookie in years. It brought me right back to when Aldo—Vasco and I had just started dating. It was around the holidays and Aldo was teaching me how to make the famous traditional confection.

It was such a carefree time in our lives. Our endless smiles and laughs. It had become one of the main corner points of the foundation to the future we wanted with each other.

It was like I was having an out-of-body experience because that all felt like another lifetime ago.

Before I knew it, the room grew quiet. I pulled myself out of my deep train of thought and found everyone staring openly at me.

Both Melissa and my Nonna offered a gentle smile, but my main focus was on Eli. His eyes grew wide as he slowly stepped away from the counter. My breathing stalled as I watched his reaction with caution.

A huge part of me was so terrified that he would run away again. Oh God. If he were to do that, there’s no telling what it would do to me. My nerves were already teetering on the edge.

I said nothing. I merely studied Eli to see if he looked any different from when I last caught a glimpse of him. He was no longer as peakish as when he was at the warehouse. Thankfully, a lot of his normal coloring came back to his cheeks.

My lips parted to say something—anything. But whatever idea I may have had was instantly dissolved when Eli closed the space between us and threw his arms around my waist. I felt his strength pull me tight, his warmth seeped into my cold bones and melted the iciness that capped my nerves.

My hands were trembling as they slowly lifted them from my sides to curl around him. I brushed my fingers through his hair and held my son close. The corners of my eyes were becoming speckled with tears and I failed to hold back the sob that tore from my throat.

“I’m so sorry,” I cried.

Eli hugged me impossibly tighter and mumbled into my shirt. “It’s okay.”

I shook my head and sniffled. “No, it’s not,” I said weakly. I lowered myself down to my knees so that I could get a better look at him.

I didn’t care how disheveled or weak I appeared. I raised my hand to cup the side of his cheek.

“I never wanted you to see me that way,” I said. “I know I scared you. But you need to know—you have to know that I would never hurt you.”

Eli nodded his head and came in for another bone-crushing hug.

“Are you better now?” he asked.

I let out a shaky laugh. “Not yet, sweetheart,” I told him. “But I’m trying. There’s a lot that I need to think about and work through still. I promise that I won’t be hiding away anymore.”

His smile sent my spirit soaring.

After Eli and Melissa finished making their cookies, he and I were cuddled up on the sofa in the living room. We decided on some movie we were both familiar with. I didn’t think that either of us had the capability to focus on much else at the moment.

“So what have you been doing these past few days?” I asked.

Eli lightly shrugged. “Nonna and I have been trying out a few new recipes,” he said.

“That sounds nice.”

“What about you?” My eyes widened. “Did you speak to Eva and Stacy?”

I stifled a giggle and brushed some of his hair from his eyes. “Eva and Stasia. Yes, I did. They’re the ones who are going to help me get better.”

I debated about telling him about my possible leaving. It seemed too soon. He and I had just gotten back into our normal flow. Emotions were still raw, but I knew that we would make it out okay.

Now, when it came to Aldo and me...I wasn’t too sure about that.

There were a lot of things that had been said and had gone unsaid. I was certain that he was just as furious with me as anything else.

Eli and I fell into our comfortable silence and let the movie play on. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a figure huddled off in the far corner of the room near the doorway. I didn’t need to turn my head to know that it was Aldo.