Chapter 4 Chapter 3

Erin’s POV

“Erin, you can’t be serious.” Carlos stared at me like he couldn’t believe what I had said. “Nothing happened. I didn’t sleep with her. I promise.”

I wanted to believe him.

Goddess, part of me still desperately wanted to believe every word that came out of his mouth.

I wanted to reach for that promise and hold onto it until everything I had heard tonight disappeared. Until Julia was nothing more than a name from his past again.

But she wasn’t anymore.

She had somehow found her way into my marriage without me even knowing.

And Carlos had let her.

But I was tired.

Not the kind of tired Mum had thought I was earlier because I was pregnant.

I was tired of Carlos.

Tired of having to search his face for lies when he was supposed to be the one person in this world I never had to doubt.

I was tired of feeling that horrible drop in my stomach every time something didn’t make sense.

Before tonight, I had never realised how exhausting it was to doubt the person you loved.

“I’m tired.”

“Erin—”

“I just want to sleep.”

I walked around him before he could touch me and climbed into bed.

“Erin.”

I pulled the covers over myself and turned onto my side, facing away from him.

I couldn’t talk anymore.

If I did, I was scared I would either scream at him or forgive him simply because I wanted the pain to stop.

Neither felt right.

Part of me wanted him to keep talking. To somehow find the perfect words that would make me roll back over and believe him.

Another part wanted him as far away from me as possible.

Blue paced restlessly inside me.

She didn’t want excuses.

She wanted answers I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear.

A tear slipped from the corner of my eye and disappeared into the pillow.

Then another.

I kept still, hoping Carlos wouldn’t notice.

My throat hurt from holding everything inside.

Only hours ago, I had been sitting downstairs with my family, believing the worst part of our marriage was behind us. Carlos had been happy about our baby. He had held me like he loved me.

I had believed we were getting everything back.

Now I didn’t even know what was real.

He sighed, turning off the light.

The mattress dipped behind me as he climbed into bed.

He didn’t reach for me.

Usually, I slept curled against him. Even after arguments, my body always seemed to find his during the night.

Tonight, the space between us felt enormous. But my heart ached to much to do anything about it.

I stared into the darkness while silent tears ran down my face.

Minutes passed.

Carlos’s breathing became slow and even behind me.

Then an hour or maybe two.

Sleep never came for me.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw them together.

Carlos smiling at her the way he used to smile at me. His hands on her. Her body pressed against his. My mind wouldn’t stop creating pictures from all the things I didn’t know.

I hated myself for imagining it, but I couldn’t stop.

Julia knew him before I did.

She had loved him before I did.

There had been a time when everyone expected her to be standing where I was now.

As his mate and their Luna.

Had he smiled when her name appeared on his phone?

Had he craved her more than he craved me?

Did he have feelings for her?

The last question hurt the most. Because feelings meant more than sex. 

He could tell me a hundred times that he had never slept with Julia, but that didn’t tell me what he felt every time she called.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Nothing happened.

That was what he said.

But something had happened.

He had let another woman into a part of our marriage without me knowing. And Julia hadn’t forced him to answer her.

Carlos had made that choice himself.

That was the part I couldn’t escape.

It would have been easier if Julia had simply appeared and tried to steal him away.

Then I could hate her and blame her.

But Carlos had answered, and he had hidden it.

But we were going to be a family, and despite what Carlos had done, I still loved him.

My hand moved beneath the blanket, resting over my stomach.

There was barely anything there yet.

No bump.

Nothing anyone could see.

But our baby was there.

Hours earlier, that had filled me with nothing but happiness.

Now it made everything more complicated.

If it were only me, would I walk away?

I didn’t know.

Blue stirred quietly inside me. ‘Don’t forgive him because you’re scared to lose him.’

A fresh tear slipped down my cheek.

‘I’m not.’

But even as I said it, I wasn’t sure if that was true.

Because I was scared.

Scared of losing him and breaking our family before our baby was even born.

And if I walked away tonight, I would spend the rest of my life wondering whether Carlos really had meant what he said.

Maybe nothing physical had happened.

Maybe he really had stopped it before it went any further.

I had heard him tell Julia not to contact him again.

I stared into the darkness until the first grey light of morning began creeping through the curtains.

My eyes felt swollen and heavy, but my mind was slowly becoming clearer.

I rolled over onto my back, looking over at Carlos sleeping peacefully beside me.

For a second, I just watched him.

The man lying beside me was still the same man I had loved yesterday.

My mate.

The man whose happiness had made my heart feel like it might burst when I told him about our baby.

That memory hadn’t suddenly become fake just because he had hurt me.

I wished I could hate him.

But I had made my choice.

Carlos deserved one more chance.

Just one.

Not because he deserved to be forgiven yet, but because I needed to know whether our marriage could still be saved.

One chance didn’t mean I had forgotten.

It didn’t mean I trusted him again.

And it definitely didn’t mean what he had done no longer mattered.

If Carlos meant what he had said last night, then he would have to show me.

I wanted our baby to have both of us. I wanted the family I had imagined from the second I saw those two lines on the pregnancy test.

So I would give Carlos the chance to prove he wanted that too.

Carlos moved beside me.

His eyes slowly opened, blinking against the morning light before they found mine.

“Erin…” he said, his voice sleepy.

It sounded like any other morning. But this wasn’t any other morning.

“I’m giving you one chance, Carlos.”

Sleep disappeared from his eyes as He pushed himself up, but I stayed where I was.

“Erin—”

“One.” My throat closed around the word. “Because I can’t do this again.”

He stared at me.

I looked down at my hands resting over the blanket. They were shaking, so I curled my fingers together.

“I don’t want to wonder where you are every time you’re late. I don’t want my stomach dropping every time your phone rings.” My voice cracked. “And I don’t want to lie beside you ever again wondering if you’re thinking about her.”

Saying it out loud hurt more than thinking it.

Because that was what he had taken from me.

Peace.

The ability to look at my husband and never question whether another woman was somewhere inside his thoughts.

Carlos moved closer. “I’m not. Erin you cant think like that.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to think right now.”

He stopped.

The hurt on his face should have made me feel guilty. Usually it would have.

But it didn’t.

For once, I needed him to understand that I was the one hurting.

“You hid it from me, Maybe you didn’t sleep with her. Maybe everything you told me last night was true. But you still knew I wouldn’t be okay with it, Carlos. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have hidden it.”

He didn’t argue.

Part of me had wanted him to argue.

To give me some explanation I hadn’t already considered.

I looked at him.

“If I find out you’re still talking to her, I’m done.”

The words frightened me.

Because this time I knew I meant them.

“You won’t.” he leaned down, kissing my forehead.

I closed my eyes.

His lips were warm against my skin, making my chest ache.

I hated that loving someone didn’t disappear just because they hurt you.

I still knew his scent.

Still knew the warmth of his body beside mine and loved the feeling of his lips.

Carlos pulled back. “I’ll make this right.”

I opened my eyes.

“You can’t make it right just by saying it.”

“I know.”

I held his stare.

Then prove it.

I didn’t say the words aloud. But goddess, I wanted to.

Because from that moment on, promises weren’t going to be enough.