Chapter 3 IT DIDN'T JUST BEGIN
I told myself I imagined the whole damn thing with the scent and yeah it made sense right because we all lived in the same house and moved through the same spaces and brushed past each other a hundred times a day so of course things overlapped and scents lingered and it didn’t mean a single thing.
I repeated that crap in my head all morning like a damn mantra trying to make it feel true but it didn’t stick it just kept slipping away every time I let my guard down for even a second.
Training helped though or at least it usually did because pain had this way of clearing everything out thoughts doubts emotions and all that noise you hit hard enough and run long enough and eventually your brain just shuts the hell up and that was exactly the goal today.
“Again,” Marcus said and he didn’t even raise his voice because he didn’t need to.
I reset my stance breath steady fists up and tried to focus on the burn already building in my muscles. He came at me faster this time and I blocked barely pivoted and swung but he caught my wrist mid-strike easy like I’d handed it to him.
“Sloppy,” he said flat and matter-of-fact.
“I’m warming up,” I shot back even though we both knew that was bullshit.
“You’re distracted.”
I yanked my arm free hard. “I’m fine.”
Marcus didn’t move an inch didn’t blink just stood there watching me and it wasn’t the usual training look no critique no challenge just something else quieter and heavier like he was seeing straight through the walls I was trying to keep up.
“Since when do you miss that step?” he asked real quiet like he already knew the answer and just wanted to hear me say it out loud.
I shrugged it off trying to play casual. “Didn’t sleep well that’s all.”
“Mm.”
He didn’t believe me not for a second and we both knew it but he let it drop and we went at it again. This time I hit harder faster angrier pouring everything I couldn’t say into every punch and block and by the third round my knuckles were raw and my lungs were burning like fire. By the fourth round I finally stopped thinking and that was better it felt cleaner like the only thing left in my head was the fight and nothing else could touch me.
Until Serena showed up.
She leaned against the fence like she’d just wandered over by accident arms crossed casual as hell watching us with that soft easy smile she wore like it was second skin.
“Damn,” she called out lightly her voice carrying across the yard. “You’re trying to kill him today Lyra.”
Marcus didn’t laugh and I sure as hell didn’t either. I stepped back wiping sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand and tried to keep my face neutral.
“Just training,” I said keeping it short.
Serena’s eyes flicked over me then over to Marcus then back again quick and measuring like she was adding things up in her head.
“You look tense,” she said her tone all concerned and friendly on the surface.
“I’m fine.”
“Everyone keeps saying that,” she replied almost teasing like we were sharing some inside joke. “Doesn’t make it true though does it.”
I forced a small smile even though it felt tight and fake. “Didn’t know you were doing emotional check-ins now.”
“Only for my favorite people,” she said and then she walked closer too close for comfort.
That scent hit me again faint but there and it crawled right under my skin making my wolf snap to attention inside me. I stilled just for a second but it was enough and Serena’s eyes sharpened slightly like she’d caught the exact moment I froze.
“Something wrong?” she asked her voice still light but with this edge underneath now.
“No,” I said way too fast and the word came out sharper than I meant it to.
Marcus shifted beside me and I could feel it without even looking that quiet alert stillness he got whenever something wasn’t adding up right in front of him.
Serena tilted her head just a little then smiled again like nothing had happened at all like the whole thing was no big deal. “Pack run this weekend,” she said changing the subject smooth as ever. “You’re still thinking about it right?”
“Yeah.”
“You should come,” she added softly her eyes staying on mine a beat too long. “You’ve been… off lately.”
Off. There was that word again and it landed like a slap even though she said it all gentle.
“I said I’m fine,” I told her a little sharper this time my jaw tightening before I could stop it.
Her smile didn’t drop but something behind it did just for a flicker like a shadow crossing her face real quick before she covered it up.
“Okay,” she said lightly brushing it off. “Don’t bite my head off.”
She turned and walked off like the conversation didn’t matter at all like she hadn’t just pressed on something she shouldn’t have even known was there and the fence creaked a little as she pushed away from it.
Marcus waited until she was completely out of earshot before he spoke.
“What’s going on?” he asked low and serious.
I exhaled hard trying to shake the tension out of my shoulders. “Nothing.”
“Lyra.”
“I said nothing.”
Silence stretched between us thick and uncomfortable like it was filling up all the space on the mat. Marcus rubbed the back of his neck eyes still locked on me like he wasn’t about to let it go that easy.
“You’re not fine,” he said finally his voice steady but worried.
“Didn’t realize you were my therapist now,” I muttered trying to deflect with a half-assed joke.
“Didn’t realize you started lying this bad.”
That hit harder than it should’ve like he’d punched straight through whatever defense I had left and I looked away because I couldn’t hold his stare anymore.
“Drop it,” I told him.
He studied me for another long second then nodded once but he didn’t look convinced at all.
“Alright,” he said. “But whatever it is fix it before it gets you hurt.”
That warning lingered long after training ended sticking in my head like a burr I couldn’t pull out.
By afternoon the packhouse had settled into its usual rhythm with voices drifting through the halls and movement everywhere and everything looking so damn normal on the surface that it almost made me doubt myself again. I found Lucifer in the office standing by the desk flipping through paperwork with his sleeves rolled up and his expression sharp and focused like the weight of the whole pack was sitting right on those papers. For a second nothing felt wrong it was just him just us and that old familiar pull hit me before I could stop it.
“Hey,” I said stepping inside.
He glanced up. “Hey.”
That was it. No smile no pull toward me no nothing and the word just hung there flat and empty.
I stepped further into the room trying to close some of the distance even though it felt like I was pushing against something invisible. “You skipped breakfast.”
“Busy.”
“You’ve been busy a lot lately,” I said keeping my voice even even though it was starting to crack at the edges.
His jaw tightened just slightly the muscle jumping under the skin. “Pack stuff doesn’t stop,” he said like that explained everything.
“I know.”
Silence again heavy and dragging like it was pressing down on both of us. I crossed my arms over my chest trying to hold myself together. “You could still… say something.”
“Like what?”
“Like anything.”
He exhaled long and slow like I was being difficult like this whole conversation was some chore he didn’t have time for. “I said I’m handling things.”
“I didn’t say you weren’t.”
“Then what do you want from me Lyra?”
That stopped me cold because I didn’t actually know anymore and the question hung there between us making the air feel too thick to breathe. I shook my head trying to push back the sting. “Nothing.”
“Good.”
The word landed colder than anything he’d said so far like it had ice on it and I stared at him for a second longer waiting for something anything a crack in that wall he’d put up but it didn’t come.
“Forget it,” I muttered turning toward the door before I could say something I’d regret.
“Lyra.”
I paused with my hand on the doorframe.
He didn’t say anything else.
I waited. One second. Two. Nothing.
I walked out.
That night I lay in bed staring at the ceiling with the dark pressing in all around me and my mind spinning even though my body was exhausted. Lucifer came in late quiet like he didn’t want to wake me up or maybe like he just didn’t want to deal with me at all.
I kept my breathing even and pretended to be asleep the way I’d done a few times before lately. He stood there for a second by the side of the bed and I could feel it feel him looking at me like he was deciding something.
Then the mattress dipped on his side careful and distant no arm sliding around me no pull toward him no warmth just space and more of that cold silence.
I stared into the dark long after his breathing evened out listening to the quiet thinking and trying not to think all at the same time. Then it hit me not the scent not the distance not even Serena but something worse something colder that settled deep in my bones.
This wasn’t new. It just took me this long to notice.
