Chapter 7 CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER SEVEN

MILLY – POINT OF VIEW

Kai drives me home in silence.

I am calm at first, but ten minutes into the drive, I start to freak out. 

I don’t have much money left with me. I have no money left. I have to get groceries, and what I have is barely enough to buy half of what we need. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I know I cannot freak out. I need to stay calm. Miles and Emma are very perceptive, and the slightest hint of trouble sets them off.

“I can lend you money. I have some saved up for a comic book coming out, but it won’t be out till December.” Kai offers as he drives into my shabby street.

I smile and shake my head, “You know I’m not going to take your money, Kai. Thank you for offering and for driving me. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure, Milly? Do not lie to me.” He whispers, worried.

I laugh to diffuse the tension, and then, I lie to him, “I’m fine. Maybe apologise to Rose for me. I wish we could have worked together, but sometimes, things don’t work out, and that’s fine.”

He nods and smiles, “See you on Monday. Do you want me to pick you up?”

“I’ll take the bus,” I say instead, and get out of the car. 

“It won’t cost me anything to pick you up, Milly.” He shakes his head at me. He’s used to my rejection.

“Goodbye, Kai!” I wave him off with a laugh, and he chuckles, then drives away.

My smile falls off when he leaves. I walk to the door, walking over the overgrown grass. My heart is heavy, and I feel weighed down. Unable to work in, I turn around and walk to the shed. I drop my bags and grab the lawnmower. It’s rusty, but still works. Dad had a knack for technology, and he always knew there could be a quiet lawnmower. Mom almost lost her mind when he spent so much money on it, but here we are, a couple of years later, and it’s handy.

I chew on my bottom lip, distraught as I run it over the grass.

What am I going to do? Oh, gosh. This is a mess. A very big mess. I only have enough for groceries, barely enough, and after that, what happens? Mom won’t get paid until the end of the month. Emma and Miles need their snacks and juice boxes. I try to make them eat fruits every day, but it’s all so expensive. I spend more than I make. I’m tired.

Maybe I should call Rose and beg her for a second chance?

She probably doesn’t want me anymore. She begged me, and I rejected her. There’s no way she’ll want me back. Rich people have a huge ego.

How am I supposed to go through next week without money? I need a job, and I need it quick. I won’t be able to focus in class, and yet, I have another presentation.

Panic floods me, and I stop mowing the lawn. 

I lean against the rickety picket fence, and my chest caves in. Sweat beads on my forehead. 

I clench my jaw hard, trying my best not to lose control. I can’t afford a breakdown now. That will only cost me time and energy, which can be used for better things. I look at the sunset.

The door opens, and Mom steps out.

She smiles at me and asks softly, “How long are you going to stand there?”

She probably knew the second I arrived.

I exhale deeply, shoulders slumping, “Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, baby. Why don’t you come in and have dinner?” She walks to me, cheeks flushed.

I nod, but don’t move. I return my gaze to the sunset. The sun shines in a golden hue, and the sky is covered in a splash of auburn lighting, bright and yet so gloomy.

“Your father and I loved to watch the sunset when we were dating. He always said it reminded him of how everything comes to an end, but sometimes, it returns. Life is a lot to handle, Millicent, and you’ve been burdened with so much as a child. I’m sorry for everything, but do not lose hope. We will create something absolutely magical. Just hold on tight, my love.” She articulates softly and kisses my forehead.

I nod and hold on to her words tight.

We walk inside, and I am greeted by Emma’s cough.

Shit.

“Milly.” She rushes to me.

I bend and frown at her, “Are you coughing?”

She shakes her head and tries to hide it, but a cough bursts through. We need to get her cough syrup, but that’s all of my money. It’s nonnegotiable, though. I need to handle it before it turns into a fever.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’ll get you cough syrup immediately after church tomorrow.” I kiss her forehead and wink at Miles, who’s drawing.

He smiles at me and winks back.

I let her get back to playing and led Mom to my small bedroom. It smells like pencil and fabric softeners.

“Why didn’t you tell me she’s coughing? You should have called me.” I whisper, trying to keep my anger in check. She can be negligent sometimes, and it pisses me off.

“I made her ginger broth. She’ll be fine. Come and have dinner, I made Lasagna.” She smiles, acting like this is a joke.

Rage flares in me, but I push it down.

“I’m not hungry. Goodnight, Mom.” I say stiffly, and turn away from her.

She leaves, and I close my door.

I flop down on the narrow bed hard, heart aching. I am backed into a corner and so helpless. I hate being helpless. I despise not being able to afford the things I need.

I reach under the bed and pull out a box of my father’s special books. Mint condition and very expensive. It should be able to carry us for the week until I get a better job.

He gave me his books to keep, and now, I’m going to sell them for money.

This is not a life, but some things don’t survive love.