Chapter 5 Voices

There are voices in my head.

Deep voices.

I must be dreaming or something, yet I hear the voices so vividly.

"She seems unharmed."

"She's scared, I can smell it on her."

"I'm going to circle around the block one more time, just to make sure nobody followed her."

"Good thing nobody knows she exists then."

"They know. If they didn't, we wouldn't have been here right now."

What the hell are these voices going on about? Why the hell can't I open my eyes? It feels like it has been glued shut, and the more I try to open it, the more it stays closed.

A shiver goes through me, even though it's officially summer, and the air feels stuffy outside.

"Everything is clear, we'll just stay out of sight until Shannon arrives."

I have to be dreaming. Yet, it feels like three distinctly different voices are speaking in my head, like my brain has drowned out every other thought, idea and sound, and is only focusing on these voices.

My eyes open eventually, and I look up at Shannon's concerned face as she looks down at me.

"Nevaeh, what are you doing here?" She looks at the duffelbag I'm sitting on, to my backback clutched in my arms, then back to my face. "Did something happen at home?"

The compassion this woman has is pouring off of her in waves, so much that I feel as if I can touch it with my hands.

I frown, clutching my chest as feelings of worry, care and affection pours into me from her.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Shannon schools her expression, and straightens. "Lets go inside. Good thing you're here, because now you can help me bake. Seems like people are coming from other towns to get some of my chocolate croissants."

She takes my backpack , slinging it over her shoulder, and wait expectantly for me to get up before she unocks the door.

"You can go to my apartment and take a shower before we open." She says as we walk inside the back of the cafe. "You can leave your stuff there, too. I don't have much space, but I've got a big couch that has your name on it."

Relief pours through me, so much so that I stagger back and hit the closed door, Shannon turning to look at me with knowing eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Thank you." I gulp. "I didn't....."

"No need to thank me yet." She smiles, then winks. "Now you have to put up with my untidiness even at home. Besides, sometimes we all just need a helping hand, right? And if you need to talk about it, I'm here."

"Thank you." I say again, even though she said I shouldn't thank her yet.

She doesn't know how much it means to me. First yesterday when she showed up with that cupcake and candle, and now, offering me a place to stay. She doesn't really know me, apart from the girl who came in here two years ago when the bakery just opened and I came to ask if she didn't need extra help.

She changed my life then, too, giving me the opportunity to earn a little money and be able to take care of myself, not having to ask Glenda for money for things like tampons.

"You start on the croissants, and I'll make us breakfast." Shannon smiles that radiant smile of hers again. "But coffee is on you, go start that machine, girl."

I don't let her tell me twice, switching on the lights as I go to the front and make her coffee just the way she likes it before getting things ready for the croissants. I love that she's not asking any more questions about why I was outside in the alley with all my belongings in tow.

She just goes about her morning like nothing has happened, handing me the keys to her apartment that is a block over when the first batch of croissants comes out of the oven.

I've been to her place before, and it looks exactly like her. A little chaotic, but cute.

There are no words to describe what it feels like being able to take a shower without worrying if someone might bust down the door, or lewd eyes waiting for you on the other side when you walk out of the bathroom.

The feeling of peace and safety settles into my bones, a feeling I have never had the luxury to experience before.

I don't think I have ever been safe since the day I was born.

This feeling is both foreign and welcomed.

My face breaks out into a smile while I get dressed in Shannon's messy apartment. I vow to one day give this to myself.

A place where I will be safe, where nobody is lurking around the corner, and I no longer have to go to bed with fear at the back of my mind.

The streets are still quiet when I make my way back to the cafe, finding Shannon busy baking the day's cupcakes.

"It's almost opening time." She's already looking disheveled. "Could you please pack out the croissants?"

I do as she says, and open in the front, the first customer walking in at exactly five minutes past seven. I've seen her before, she also comes in at past five just before we close for a chocolate cupcake with vanilla frosting. I know Shannon keeps one out especially for her, especially on busy days.

Her eyes look tired when she looks at me. "Could I have a cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso please?"

"And a chocolate cupcake with vanilla frosting?"

She looks at me with guarded eyes. "I really can't be eating another cupcake, my husband told me I was gettng fat this morning."

"Really?" I frown. "You look great."

"What?" She asks, looking at me, confused.

"I think you look great." I hope my smile is kind. "You can absolutely have a cupcake after a busy day, right? It doesn't even have that many calories."

"Just the coffee, please." She says quickly and holds her phone out so she can pay, a deep frown on her face.

I make the coffee as fast as I can, feeling bad that I said something. When it's ready, and I hand the takeout cup over, her finger touches mine and scenes upon scenes fly through my mind of a man yelling and telling her scathing words about her looks. I feel so overwhelmed that I stagger back and clutch my chest in horror.

The woman looks at me weirdly. "How did you know about the cupcake?"

This time I'm the one confused. "What? You told me that."

She shakes her head. "No, I didn't."

Then she walks out, leaving me with more questions. Something is happening to me. I swore I heard her voice in my head. First in the alley, now this woman.

Am I going crazy? And why is my heart feeling so defeated?